ive got news. my best friend is married. the dreaded event (for me anyways) came and went and one week im talking to her and she's engaged then a couple weeks later i find out she's married. and not only that but i didn't even hear it initially from her herself. which isn't a big deal i suppose but im the best friend...im supposed to know everything! ha. but anyways, another friend actually sent me a yahoo message asking did you know that "my best friend" is married? to which i wrote back uh duh she's not married she's engaged and seeing how im her best friend of course i would know dork. and i really did end the message with dork. and then when i relayed this event to "my best friend", lo and behold i find out shit she IS married. aren't i the silly one. i seem to be feeling this way a lot lately ahem you know who im directing this to but who cares really. i was asked to be her maid of honor albeit the wedding is in taiwan and i told myself i don't plan on going back for a loooooooong time after my last trip but for her ill make an exception. obviously.

but ive never known anyone to have such an untraditional wedding. married in vegas. i won't even go into what they were wearing. no wedding ceremony. no wedding reception, at least not here in the states. in fact, the only reason why she's even having one is more for her husband's (wow that's weird even just typing it out) family than for herself. i initially thought i would have to show up and make a speech in my poor chinese but nope, i was told i only need to stand there and look cute. i even get to pick out my own dress! this could be the easiest maid of honor job ever.

the plane ride will definitely suck but then again i get to shop at the night markets which i love although half the clothes don't fit me or i have to buy XXL. damn the skinny ass chinese girls but i still have some of my shirts from love boat 1997 that i still wear much to the embarrassment of some of my friends but come on, who wouldn't love mr bubbles on a baby blue shirt?

but for now as one of my maid of honor duties, i plan on organizing a night out at keith's in honor of my best friend and to celebrate the many a nights we've spent there after who knows what we all used to do in san diego but it should be fun...let's just hope they're not closed for cleaning.

so it's 8am on a saturday morning and im up. why i don't know but i hate it. actually i do know why. it's because my room is too damn bright in the mornings. something that is a good thing during the weekdays to get my ass up but not on weekends. and on top of that, im hungover. just a little bit but enough that i still feel dizzy and am hating just hating the fact that i am up so early on a weekend.

but yesterday was our second annual eating contest. the first was hot dogs two years ago and then last night was dumplings. not just any dumplings but ling ling potstickers and those suckers are big. i contemplated participating for a brief second but am pretty glad i didn't. mainly so i could have more room to drink later because you know, i think ahead like that but the rules were simple. eat as many dumplings as you can in 12 minutes and the winner gets 60 bucks. but man, 12 minutes is a hell of a long time to be eating dumplings. with the hot dog eating contest there were only four contestants and we ran out of hot dogs at the end but this year we were prepared. somehow for some reason or another we were able to get 12 contestants this year and the winner came away with 36 dumplings total i think...

a couple thoughts from last night:

1) a costco size bottle of grey goose doesn't last too long when taking shots every 5 minutes

2) i suck at karaoke...drunk and sober. ive officially retired bohemian rhapsody. i sound so much better in my car

3) quarters is a fun ass drinking game

4) im an obnoxious drunk but what else is new

5) and finally...my friends are great.

now im off to try to get some more sleep in.

so yesterday or really today to be official (according to the chinese calendar) is the four year anniversary. and i didn't even realize it or think about it until i was reminded of it which shocked me for a second. how could i have not known? does this make me a bad daughter? am i so caught up in the day to day crap that something like this could completely slip my mind? it's only been four years which isn't that long at all...but needless to say i was feeling pretty guilty yesterday.

my mom's coming to visit tomorrow night and staying through sunday. four nights and five days. the longest time she's ever come to stay with me and what makes this trip different is just that. she's staying with me at my place the entire time. all the other times that she's visited, she's stayed with my aunt in san jose and id come over to see her or go to dinner or have her come see my place but at the end of the night, i always ended up at my own place. wihch is just the way i like it. but now that my aunt has moved and no longer has her own townhouse and seeing how she'll be out of town, in israel of all places, this trip is meant solely to visit me. im sure we'll still be making a stop at my uncle's place but besides that it's me that is left to entertain her and im feeling quite nervous about it. and worried.

as i won't be taking any time off from work while she's here - she'll be left to her own devices thursday and friday to entertain herself. initially she was to come up thursday night but changed her mind at the last minute to come up a day early so she could "explore" the city and in her words, take the bus around. which to me is the worst idea ever. i have no problems with her milling around the streets in my nieghborhood and seeing the shops and so forth but anything that goes beyond a walking distance, i find myself getting worried. much like a parent worries about their child i would think - it's weird that i am now in this role reversal. i find myself worrying about what if she gets lost on the bus? what if she misses her stop? does she know how to read a map? just because im not the greatest at it (granted i have gotten so much better now you don't even know) i automatically assume everyone else with similar genetics gets lost like me but keep in mind here her english isn't the greatest, she won't know the street names and isn't the best at keeping her cell phone on at all times.

is this normal? because i never used to get like this. maybe it's a sign im growing up but i have this feeling ill be calling her while im at work to "check" up on her. which is exactly what i promised myself in sixth grade i would never do when i grew up. i remember getting asked out on a date and having to go home, ask my parents for permission, getting turned down and then me crying in my room and making a list of everything that i would NOT do when i became a parent and now i find myself just like them.

it's funny how your viewpoint changes in ten years. i get flashbacks of myself breaking curfew all the time, not calling, coming home late and believe it or not, actually running away from home for a couple days...all of which i would never do now obviously but if i knew back then how parents worry, im a little ashamed of all that ive put them through.

but not to digress too much, my mom's visit this week has got me all jumbled. im nervous she'll be bored. i even contemplated going out to rent chinese movies for her but then realized i would have no idea where to go. im not even really sure where im going to take her since ive never had to play tour guide before although i did make dinner reservations for us saturday night. my treat of course. on top of all this worrying and stressing though, i am pretty excited for her to come although i think i may need to sleep on the couch. ive never been able to sleep in the same room as my mom but i am looking forward to some home cooked chinese food, lots of it and she is my favorite shopping partner of all time so if im lucky, we'll be hitting up the shops a little bit.

pop culture. or more accurately hollywood gossip. i love it and unlike with everything else in my life where you tell me one thing and it goes in one ear and out the other, i have an uncanny ability to remember that so and so used to date so and so but then got dumped for so and so and now they're engaged and about to be married. ive actually had friends complain to me that my lack of memory on lots of things bug the crap out of them but for some reason or other, when it comes to celebrity gossip, i have no problems.

i have three websites that i check religiously everyday to keep on top of my news...actually one of them i just go to look at celebrity pictures but it's almost like i have an unnatural obsession with this thing. take last night for example. i had read that jennifer garner had accidentally revealed the sex of her baby on the jay leno show and then when i was watching extra or access hollywood and they were showing a clip of it, i felt a certain glee come over me because yes! i knew about this already and i just sat there in anticipation the whole time to see her reaction.

for the past month or so, jon g's been getting us weekly and star magazine sent to our apt for no reason at all and he can't figure out why meaning he doesn't even know who to call to cancel so in the meantime ive been reaping the benefits. it's so great. i can barely keep up. as soon as they arrive in the mail, you can pretty much count on me being silent for the next hour or so. i got a year subscription to us weekly recently for my bday present and it's pretty much the best present i could of asked for. a new gossip magazine arriving on my doorstep each week? can a girl ask for anything more?

i secretly love it when im the first to find out about something. i have a friend who sends me hollywood gossip every now and then but each and everytime ive already known about it before but yet he keeps trying. what a trucker. every so often i get a piece of news that shocks the hell out of me and when it does, i get all giddy inside. one of my really good ones a while back was when i found out portia de rossi was gay and laid that news on my co-workers only to secretly pride myself on their look of bewilderment. or did you know that diane keaton and keanu reeves used to date? supposedly of course. it's just great.

i get so involved and interested in their lives that im exactly the type of person celebrities hate because im the ones who will buy tabloid magazines or i love it when magazines have pictures of celebrities in their "normal" state so i can rag on how horrible they look. anything on e! is good too. especially when they do their countdown of 40 hottest hollywood wives for example or more recently the 50 greatest celebrity breakups and i knew about pretty much each and every one of them. i really did. it's a pathetic life i lead and between this blog and my last about laguna, i will have to restrain myself in writing about anything even remotely related to these two topics in the near future in order to shield myself from further embarassment.

im ashamed to admit this but just recently ive been addicted to laguna beach and i hate myself for it. this was one show that i always used to rip on saying how stupid it was and that it wasn't even a real reality show, the kids were all spoiled, who watches this crap anyways and now here i am, a faithful watcher. it all started on a lazy sunday a couple of weeks ago when mtv was having a laguna beach marathon and i sat and watched the entire thing. all of it. and now i can't stop. it's disgusting.

i do have one question though. this isn't a real reality show right? tell me it isn't please. i had a big debate with my friend over this and he was convinced it was real but there's no way it could be. no way. maybe the people are real but the situations are all staged beforehand including what's going to happen, who's going to hook up with who and so on. it has to be. otherwise wouldn't it just be another real world? but the look and feel of the whole show is completely different. if anyone has a definite answer on this, please let me know. im being serious too. it really bugs the crap out of me and i can't get a definitive answer out of anyone.

i mean what group of friends do you know hooked up among each other all the time or have so much drama going on all the time, or go off to college but not one minute is actually shown of them at school? what high school kids did you know got to spend their days going off to cabo or lounging around at the spa getting manicures and pedicures and doing nothing generally except shop and go out? this is not what high school was like. and i went to a private school too.

but ive watched the show enough that i even know them my name. my favorites are jason and kristin. jason because he's the bad boy of the show and he's hot in that brooding type of way. the one who will no doubt play you like the player he is but yet you always keep going back for more. sad but true. he's already broken jessica and alex m's hearts but those type of guys are just oh so irresistible. kristin because well she's fun. she's the type of girl you'd want around because she knows how to have a good time and well she's hot too. id have to say jessica probably wins my vote for the most annoying, it's no wonder jason broke up with her but to go to alex m? please...he can do better. im still secretly hoping kristin and stephen get back together but based upon next week's previews, it doesn't look like it'll happen.

but do you see how sad this is? that i can get all worked up over ficitonal storylines? i must find out the truth once and for all on whether this is a real reality show or not and then im going to slowly wean myself off of it. i must. but it's just oh so addicting...

i signed the lease to my place today and im so damn excited i could nearly pee in my pants. ill be moving right to the heart of yuppy land but it's jam packed with restaurants, bars and most importantly lots of cute shops. im literally half a block away from so many boutiques so any thoughts i had on saving more money each month is pretty much gone with me paying more in rent and with shopping so damn close.

ive been looking for an apartment for damn close to a month now and with moving day just weeks away, i was starting to stress and worry about not finding a place in time, so much so that i woke up with nightmares one or two nights. while everyone was like you've got time and it'll all work out and don't worry, i don't do too well with the unknown. well on certain things i could really care less about but when it comes to where you'll be living and where to move your furniture to, i like to get it all organized and tidy way in advance but they were right, it did all work out and not a minute too soon either.

and i think im going to love the place. more importantly once again i get my own bathroom which is pretty key for me but even more so is that it comes with two parking spots. i never realized how difficult it was to find a place with two spots in sf and i hate street parking. partly because im not the greatest parallel parker and who wants to come home at night only to circle around the block...

i think part of my problem in finding a place is that im really picky. ive always said that i like living in sf but hate the type of housing here. im more used to san diego places that are newer, cleaner and more spread out. here a lot of the places i looked at were old or small or dark and depressing and well you get the point. and this will be my first time living with a girl in three years but my mom was pretty excited when i told her. apparently living with a girl in her mind equates to me going out and meeting guys together and potentially fulfilling her dream of me settling down soon.

and oh, this place is a lot bigger than my place now so i'll have lots more room for visitors and crashers so ill expect people to come visit. and to top all this off, today is friday which means drink time is just around the corner. juuuuuuuust kidding.

i went with two of my co-workers during my lunch hour today to go watch the symphony perform at the park for free and boy was it nice. it's been a while since ive been to anything like that and watching wicked does not count but the guys were all dressed up in white tuxes and sitting there on the semi wet grass trying to look over the people standing in front of me (by the way, isn't it common knowledge that if you're in the front row and there's people behind you sitting down, it's rude to stand and block their view?) i was once again reminded of how i wished i had stuck with my piano lessons in high school but back when i was young and immature, boys were much more important than staying home to practice a hour or two a day.

but ive forgotten how great the symphony could be and apparently they're selling individual show tickets this season so im going to try to get in at least one concert hopefully. i have a godsister who went to juilliard for harp and now plays for the nyc opera and as if that wasn't enough, she's also an awesome pianist and sometimes i wished i could play like her. but alas i can't. the crowning achievement of all my years of piano lessons was getting honorable mention at a sonata competition in high school. my piano teacher always said that i didn't play with enough "dynamics" and needed to loosen up and feel the music. i would have annual piano recitals where you played in the order of worst to best pretty much and i was usually second to last only to always be followed by this guy who got up there and would start playing with his whole body leaning in and back and around in a circle and i would always stand in the back in awe of how someone can become so enthralled while playing. because honestly he looked pretty goofy to me but he certainly put me to shame.

my piano playing these days pretty much consists of me going home to san diego and playing the five or so chinese songs that i remember for my mom and as all my pinao books are packed away in the garage, that's pretty much the extent it goes. but maybe with the purchase of my new keyboard (yes i am going to get one!) ill start practicing more and putting in the time i never did back in the day.

see what one day of being 27 can do to someone? ha. of course i tend to lose interest pretty quickly so this could just be a fad for the next couple of months but i did contribute my lunch money to the red cross today. now that's pretty grown up of me isn't it?

so im officially in my "late" twenties now which ive been told falls between the range of 27 to 29 so thankfully im still in the first stage but the thing about being in your "late" category for anything is that you inevitably feel like time is running out. and in some sense it is. the twenties are the best years of your life (keep in mind i said the same thing in my teen years) and knowing that there's only three more years left can stress a girl out. funny because i always thought that by 27, id be a lot further along than i am now. for one i thought i would be going to the gym regularly...don't ask me why but i just always figured by the end of my 20's id be in shape but that's certainly not true. i thought for sure id start acting like an adult or at least have a better idea of what i wanted to do with my life and what traits im looking for in a guy but instead, i find myself just as confused as ever.

job wise i know i don't want to do accounting for the rest of my life but can't think of anything else i would want to do and still get the same amount of pay. i pretty much knew i didn't want to do anything accounting related my first year post college and here i am six years later still burning the midnight oil except now i work for a cooler company but am still chugging along like the little corporate worker that i am. suddenly being a housewife doesn't sound too bad. i could pull off baking cupcakes for pta meetings i think...or at least store bought cupcakes.

living wise i knew i eventually would end up in san diego but intially when i first moved up here in 2000, i thought for sure id move back down before i turned 30 but in thinking about it now...30 is right around the corner and im even starting to rethink if i even want to move back there. would i still like it as much as ive built up in my head or will i just inevitably get bored?

and finally guys. im no closer than when i first started dating to figuring out what im looking for and one really can't afford to waste any time in their prime years. one thing that always stuck with me was an ex who commented to me several times after we broke up that he really wished he would of known we weren't going to work out earlier because we basically dated right up till the end of his prime and while he didn't consider it a "waste" he did say it made things tougher for him.

i thought for sure once i hit my late twenties id start feeling like an adult but i don't. i wonder if im always going to feel like this...a kid at heart but forced to grow up and act my age. but ive decided to take a new approach and instead of lamenting to everyone about being old, ive decided that i need to embrace my late twenties instead of freaking out about it (which will be easy seeing how i really only feel that way when talking to my mom who conveniently is on a three week cruise at the moment) and in the meantime, maybe i'll even try to hit the gym once or twice a month. after all ive still got two more years to get in shape.

is it just me or does everyone these days seem to be getting engaged? as i was browing through some people's blogs who i wouldn't necessarily consider to be my friends but more acquaintances, i came across two who are now engaged and for some reason or other, both shocked the hell out of me. one more than the other. and what's even more troubling is that both are younger than i am. seriously.

i feel like i revisit this topic every couple of months whereas it used to be once a year but is this what it's like when you're in your "late" twenties with the big 3-0 looming towards you in a couple years that you start feeling the pressure? because if it is - im definitely not looking forward to anymore birthdays.

someone said the other day that 28 is the perfect age that every woman wants to be. because it's old enough that you have your shit together and are hopefully finally settling into a career but young enough to where you can still go out and not be considered to be over the hill. who knows where this statistic came from but it brought me comfort. sad when a random statistic can make your day.

my mom did mention to me recently that she was hoping i would consider moving back to san diego soon and could live with her but if i wasn't married by 29, id be kicked out. i had to chuckle at that comment just a little...she must have been talking to her friends again.

vegas over july 4th. craziness. and who would of thought that id be capable of clubbing five freaking nights in a row. rain, the beach, pure, ice and rum jungle. and not just clubbing but balls out taking shots up the ying yang and literally passing out each and every night. which when said out loud doesn't sound like much fun but boy were there tons of lifelong memories. i knew vegas would be fun but it far exceeded anything that i expected. we came thisclose to getting kicked out of our hotel room with the security guard coming by three different times, almost got kicked out of denny's for being too rowdy and half of the most fun moments happened at night time when i was passed out on the bed but i got to hear about it the next morning nevertheless.

i won't go into what we did every night since curtis did a pretty good job summing it up but a couple of things:

1) after having spent five nights in a hotel room with four other guys and me being the only girl - i realized that guys really do only talk about girls, sports, fantasy league teams and taking dumps.

2) there were only three things on my request list for vegas. first was to watch O. second was to eat crepes at paris and third to watch the water show at bellagio just once at night time. i came out zero for three at the end of the trip.

3) pure at caesar's palace was the most decked out club ive ever been to. and ive gone to quite a lot of clubs before. the view on top is amazing but i guess it'd have to be when shots are $16 each.

4) we are true asians. who else would take a taxi to go eat pho (the perfect comfort food for a hangover) not once but twice and then only to go home and set up a texas hold em tournament in our hotel room in the middle of vegas. that's right...we're cool like that.

5) and last but not least - i give up trying to keep up with the boys. my poor old liver just can't handle it which would explain the excessive puking on my part. oh the poor maids.

it's always best when you get out of a trip with that warm fuzzy feeling of knowing that all of your friends had a blast, everything went off without a hitch, there was no drama and all in all, it was a perfect six days and five nights spent with good friends that will be talked about for the months to come.

and to top it all off, it's only a three day work week for me and it will be a mellow one for that even. im not touching alcohol until next weekend as im saving up for when grace comes. july is shaping up to be a great month.

i ate at boulevard tonight and it was pretty damn good. it's always best when you get little surprises at the most unexpected times that really makes you appreciate the little things. i mean come on, boulevard on a thursday night? hell eating dinner at 9:30pm on a weeknight? that is very unlike me. usually on the weekdays i become a hermit who rarely goes out and is usually in bed by midnite at the latest and that's only if there's a good tv show on and there usually is.

boulevard has been on my list of places to try for some time now but for some reason or other i just never got around to eating there. but my ex came into town today. as in i got a phone call this afternoon with hey im in san jose for the weekend, wanna hang out? to which i counter back with you're shitting me right but nope lo and behold he wasn't kidding and i mean seriously who flies into town without any forewarning? i guess i shouldn't be too surprised but when i posed the question his response was i told you two months ago. two months? i can't even remember what i did two weeks ago much less months.

nevertheless, boulevard lived up to all of my expectations. there was no hint of snottiness which i hate and our waiter was fairly amicable and the peach dessert was yummy! but i have noticed that sf doesn't have too many great cheap eats. it's something i never really thought about until jon was visiting last week and i couldn't really think of too many cheap places to go that didn't require pre-planning or a reservation. maybe it's just im not in the know and don't know where to find these things but overall i feel like sf is more known for their fine dining. most of the restaurants that i live near aren't really the kind where you can run in and grab a quick bite to eat which can get pretty annoying and makes me miss cupertino village all the more. cupertino village is my all time favorite place to eat at in san jose where i know i could get boba and a great noodle or rice dish for all under 10 dollars.

actually i take that back. i have discovered a couple more cheaper eating places all within the last week (ramen anyone?) which im pretty excited about and with my monthly dinner group in place in which we try a new restaurant each time that's usually shamelessly trendy and more expensive, i see my quest to get in shape for summer is pretty much going to be thrown out the window. oh how i love food.

tonight marked the first of three concerts ill be attending in the next month or so and boy was it a great start. jon g and i along with two of his high school friends went to watch alicia keys tonight and damn she was amazing. and boy can she sing. i always knew she would be good live but i was completely blown away today. she was on for close to two hours and the time seemed to go by in a blink of an eye and i was left nodding my head and mouthing the words to myself. so very worth it.

things are starting to look on the up and up and if only i can pass my stupid cpa exam friday id be the happiest girl this side of the city. but i won't go into that now...that's another blog for another day. maybe tomorrow if you're lucky. and june is starting to shape out like it's going to be a pretty good month too. next up is the roots concert and then digable planets along with crowne city rockers. then there's dinner at a couple restaurants ive been wanting to try and my brother is coming up to visit for a week and then bam just like that it'll be time for vegas. i can't wait...let the countdown begin.

choosing the correct doctor. a lesson ive learned the hard way today. it wasn't until i started my first job out of college that i learned how important benefits are and the difference between hmo and ppo and heard for the first time the terms out of network and in network. all this has an effect on which medical plan you use and once that choice is made, you're left on your own to pick a primary care physician or pcp as most people refer to it as and really, when you have no medical background how are you to know which doctor is good or bad? sure you can ask your friends for recommendations but when you're new to the city and so are most of the people you're surrounded by, you're left to your own devices. while perusing through the listing of available doctors, it's easy to come up with some of your criteria but really, how technical can it be? essentially your choice on who you decide to be your main doctor for the next couple of years (assuming you stay with the company of course) comes down to some trivial questions such as female or male? closeness to your home? school attended? age? ethnicity maybe? but really...there's no way to tell if a doctor is qualified or not. this really is a big decision because the person you choose will ultimately be responsible for your health and making sure everything is a-ok. im sure there's ways you can research but i was not one of them.

i was being naive and under the impression that doctors for the most part are qualified and really it was more a matter of whether i liked their personality or not. but after today, i intend on making my selections much more carefully as it seems my history in choosing doctors is not too great at the moment. im batting about a 50/50 right now. one of the doctors i chose turned out to be this old korean guy who essentially looked at me as if i was paranoid each time i came in asking for a prescription. this was during the time when i developed tonsilitis every couple of months so i was getting very good at figuring out when it was starting and would make an appt right away to get some anti-biotics because once it reaches a certain stage, it ain't pretty. but whenever i went in he would sort of laugh and not take me seriously which made me think that he thought i was imagining everything but nevertheless, i didn't really care too much as long as i got my medicine. part of the reason why i stayed with him for so long was because i knew i could get same day appts but beyond that, nada. he was of no help to me.

now i had another doctor that i really liked because she was personable, caring and my only complaint really was that she was too damn busy that it would take months to get an appt. however, with my current insurance ending at the end of this month, i was in a race to get in to see her but with the next available appt in october (ridiculous no?) i opted for another doctor in the same office. and that is where i went today. i proceeded to tell him my history and get him up to date on all that has happened and in so many words or less, he basically told me that i was given incorrect treatment and that my other doctor was incompetent. news that i took pretty well as i was actually more surprised that he made such a bold statement since i never had any doubt about my previous doctor before but really, how would i know anyways? i don't deal with this stuff, im a numbers kind of gal. and as he further proceeded to explain to me, it all seemed to make a lot more sense which made me start thinking that if it wasn't for my health insurance ending soon, i might of never found any of this out. this is probably why people go for second opinions but the thought never even crossed my mind.

in any case, he was pretty infuritated and upset and gave me the advice of, just because a doctor seems sociable or friendly and is warm and fuzzy does not always mean that they're competent. to which i asked, how will i know and of course no helpful response was really given. but on the other hand, what if this doctor is wrong and my other doctor is just fine or it could be that both doctors are incompetent? honestly isn't that a scary thought? because how DOES one find out and really the lesson learned here is you can't always trust what your doctors tell you. they aren't perfect so the next time you're deciding on who you want your pcp to be...you better do your research and not be too trusting like i was.

i spent a little over $300 at one of our retail stores today...and that's not even including my discount. in all i purchased $525 worth of cosmetics and face products which was pretty much how much i was planning on spending going in. all this was not just for me of course. now that would just be too selfish. in total, i purchased four bottles of men's face cleanser to be distributed among four lucky guys and you know who you are, an anti aging lotion for my mom, a complete set of the skincare regimen for myself, a skincare kit for one of my former managers, two of their powders and i think four makeup brushes. which is a little funny because i think i own about a total of five makeup brushes now but essentially whatever ive always wanted i bought. and oh now that i think about it, i forgot to pick up one of their eye makeup removers...oh well i guess i'll just have to go back and get it on my next trip.

but ive never in my life bought so much at once in beauty products without even bothering to look at the price or count in my head how much i was willing to spend. and what a great feeling it was. while most people know them for their makeup, im most excited about using their skincare products. ive only been using it for three days now trying to make the sample packs i got last as long as possible and already i love it. and plus it's so much fun when you start on a new skincare regimen.

and once ive got the skin part taken care of, i intend on going back and getting more makeup products. for the time being, ill just have to use the ones i got when i was interviewing. seriously though, can it get any better? makeup samples at an interview? ridiculous. i think im on a shopping high at the moment because it's been a couple of months since ive made any large purchases and to think, i haven't even gone on a clothing shopping spree yet. as my knowledge of makeup and how to apply it is pretty limited, helen has promised to come along to help me pick out colors and boy did the colors look pretty sitting out on the counters.

today has been a great day. got off work around 6pm, briefly contemplated the thought of going on a run but decided to sit on my fat ass instead where i snacked on some barbecue flavored pringles and waited for jon g to get home from the gym so we could go eat. and what did we get...big fat juicy burgers from burger meister. an onion and mushroom burger with a side of onion rings for me and a bacon cheeseburger with a side of french fries for him. very fattening yes but i don't mind so much at the moment. however, im sure i'll be regretting it once it comes time for bathing suit season. but boy oh boy was it good.

all this was enjoyed while watching the premiere of chaotic. a show that i forced jon g to watch with me much to his chagrin. for those who don't know, chaotic marks the premiere of the reality show of the federlines. as in britney and kevin federline. yes i am a huge closet britney spears fan and i had been anticipating this all day. it's a sad life i live but during the one hour show, all i did was cringe in fear that she didn't do anything else to make herself look like a bigger fool than she already was doing and rolling my eyes at jon g for each one of her antics but i loved it. im not sure what it is about britney that i still like but im not so blind to not know that yes she has turned into white trash after justin but boy when she really wants/need to be, she can look damn hot. and is it wrong for me to say that i even found kevin to be a bit attractive? not look wise so much but more the attitude and the fact that he just looks like a bad boy.

but that wasn't even the greatest part of my day. the highlight was that jon g gave me all of his itune songs. that's right ladies and gentlemen, my mini ipod in a short ten minute span increased from a mere 200 songs to a staggering 850! it may not sound like much for you hardcore itune folks out there but for me, that is amazing. ive been wanting to get jon g's songs for a while now because whether he likes it or not, we do have some similarity in music taste (although he'll deny it to the end) and now it's all there on my trusty mini. i might even be needing an upgrade!

then to top off the entire night, i learned the "correct" method of organizing my songs. apparently i shouldn't be making changes to song titles or genre directly on my itunes, i should be changing it in my music folder. which makes sense when i think about it, changes should be made to the source document. i should of known this of course but i just never knew how to do it and now i do. it gets quite addicting too...this organizing thing could potentially cripple me in staying in an entire day just changing song titles.

and if i haven't disgusted you enough in discussing my fascination with britney and my lack of knowledge in anything computer related (that's why it's good to have a twin into that stuff...to solve all my computer and blog relates issues) my new favorite song of the moment is incomplete by the backstreet boys.

you can go ahead and throw up now.

instant messenger. it's now been a full two weeks of not getting on yahoo messenger during work hours and much to my surprise, the world hasn't ended, i don't feel that out of the loop and things are chugging along just fine. this is a bold statement coming from a girl who became an instant messenging addict back when i entered corporate america for the first time. the ironic thing is that i never really used to be a big fan back in college but then when you're stuck in a cube and in front of a laptop for hours on end, it's amazing how dependent one could become. and then when i was introduced to yahoo launchcast, my days were preoccupied with rating songs left and right.

pretty soon my yahoo messenger was filled with "work" friends...those trusty ones who you could depend on to log on day in and day out and during busy season time, the bright yellow face next to their name brought comfort in knowing that yes another person was out there suffering and working along with you. at least that's what i like to tell myself anyways. i tried to chat as little as possible as i am a professional after all and have shit to do but every once in a while id get myself in laugh out loud conversations and it was a good way to keep on top of the news as i would be sure to receive two or three links throughout the day. plus when else but at midnite could my fellow co workers and i be so sick of working that we all created avatars...a splitting cartoon image of me i tell you. or at least that's what i've been told.

but as we all know, instant messenging makes one less efficient and could be considered a distraction although really i would argue it kept me sane for a couple of years. but it wasn't until last year when i went to new jersey for work and had no internet connection that i realized just how damn productive i could be. without internet, there was no taking mini breaks to check email or surf the net or chat for a bit...without internet i was forced to *gasp* work and when bored, there was nothing else to do but move onto another task and my associates and i couldn't help reveling in just how much work we were getting done.

and since i just started my new job recently i thought it would be best if i didn't download messenger right away but now im starting to rethink whether i even want to or not. i could be gone forever! don't cry now please. my work productivity could only go downhill from then on anyways and there is just too much to do. besides im reveling in my efficiency these days and well who said i can't trade emails back and forth from work all day long right? it's almost just as good as messenger. so for the time being, please keep those links coming! only pg rated of course and continue to send raunchier links to my personal account.

four engagement announcements in two days. what is this world coming to? so i recently found out that four of my friends or actually i should say three of my friends and one guy i met on a plane some time ago whom i haven't spoken to in a while but nevertheless was on his engagement evite list are engaged. while this is great news of course but it is once again a reminder that slowly and surely my friends will be falling off the single bandwagon and then i will be left being the constant third wheel.

thankfully im still surrounded by a core of single friends who are far far away from being engaged, i think anyways, so that i can put off reality a little bit longer.

september 18, 2000. my start date if my memory serves me correctly. four and a half years. that's a damn long time to dedicate oneself to anything and through that time, ive endured five busy seasons with this past one being the worst to date yet. lots of working till 4 or 5am only to be back at work again at 9am and looking back im pretty surprised i even lasted this long. it was always my intention to only stay two with a max of three years but as the years flew by, it just seemed natural i would at least stay until manager but alas that is not to be the case. im up for manager next year and my last day is tomorrow.

part of me is excited of course but there's a part of me that's also wondering if im doing the right thing and making the right choice. it seems in life certain things are considered to be life events. going off to college. graduating college. getting your first full time job and i would consider the job right after your first one would qualify too. before you were the dumbstruck college graduate who wasn't sure what they wanted to do career wise and was just happy to be even given a job offer. now you're a little bit older and wiser and dare i say more picky and don't need to jump at the first job that comes your way as you've spent a couple years in corporate america and actually possess some skills that are deemed desirable in the workplace. it's a nice feeling knowing you have options.

i would say it takes someone who's actually gone through public to really truly understand what those first couple of years are like. it's a rite of passage and creates instantaneous bonding with others you meet. most of the time anyways. some people have described the experience as:

"The last form of slavery in the US. This is where many young people begin careers and work 115 hours a week until they either quit or die from exhaustion. Former employees often have scarred backs from the whip marks."

"An environment/hell, in which the term 'work-life balance' is used to convince bright, young professionals to accept jobs. Once on the other side, it becomes apparent very fast that it doesn't exist, but the majority of employees stay, because the managers continue to say they are "working" to improve 'work-life balance'"

all of which i wholeheartedly agree with and would think many of my co-workers would confirm as well but yet even with the hours and the stress and the lack of social life at some points there's still a part of me who recognize the experience ive learned and will miss it. but most of all, im most grateful for the friends that ive made. lifelong friends as a matter of fact and without them i'd probably be going insane at the moment. what other job will you find 120 freshly graduated college students all starting at the same time and then thrown out onto clients and somehow managing? i could probably count on one hand the number of people still left today from my start group and im almost willing to bet that within one or two more years, they'll all be gone as well.

why? because sooner or later you realize you don't want to be slaving away late at night and on weekends anymore and even the gratification of meeting your deadlines doesn't do it for you anymore. and as more and more friends leave and you hear about the "other side" you can't help but wonder why you continue to toil away late into the night but at much less pay. and as you look around some more and see managers who all seem to have aged so fast and work hellish hours day in and day out and you have got to think to yourself, is this really what i want to be doing the next couple of years?

i think not so it is with great sadness that im putting this chapter of my life behind me but also great excitment as ill be moving on to pretty much what i imagined my ideal job to be if i ever left. it's located in sf, laidback atmostphere including my boss which is a double plus and best of all, it's for a cosmetics company and really what girl hasn't thought about working in retail to take advantage of discounts? and yes i get good ones so it should be fun. and a special thanks to mr pio roda and mr marshman for the constant encouragement and helping me to see the light. who knows i may even be able to start making dinner plans on a weekday now...something i hardly ever did before.

dating pedigree. it used to be that who you used to date in the past really didn't matter as you grew up mainly because you're young and stupid and tend to fall for the "wrong" type of guys/girls but then as you blossom and mature, one would hope your dating pedigree would increase as well. or in my case, you find out one of your ex's is married with a kid at the age of 24 and then happen to come across one of his pictures on the internet one day only to recoil in horror at the fat hoodlum he has become. not a pretty sight i tell you.

but who you date can really affect how another person perceives you. at least more so now as one gets older and your circle of friends isn't expanding quite as rapidly as before. you all know what im talking about here. you see a normal average looking guy for example and wouldn't really think twice about him being a potential person to date but then you find out that he used to date a girl that you think is hot/cool/fun and you do a quick double-take. he got her?!?! you think maybe you're missing something and just like that he's made it onto your list of potentials. this scenario works vice versa as well.

you date someone who others find annoying or what not and the question forever raised is what did he see in her? immediately your view of him changes a bit and that initial spark of interest may very well disappear. it's happened to me although im not quite sure why i hold this level of snobbery in my mind since i don't seem to have the best track record either. let's see, ive had ex's who became very possessive, brainwashed me to the point where yes i thought it would be ok to climb out my second story window in the middle of the night to stay in a motel, dated a drug dealer who landed in military jail not once but twice and a guy who was just a plain deadbeat and never went to class and the entire time was trying to get back together with his ex. yes siree bob...im on the winning track here.

so...the moral of the story here is be careful of who you date. even if it only lasts for a couple of months the stigma whether positive or negative will stay with you for quite some time. this is all assuming of course that your friends are privy to meet them. or i suppose you can just date in secret and no one will be ever the wiser.