it's done. it's over. finito. what has consumed my life the past three months or so but especially during the past week is done. yesterday marked my last day on my sf client. no more public transportation although that will soon change with my move to sf this summer. no more getting spit on by homeless people. no more packing and unpacking each weekend. finally my life can resume some sort of normalcy. actually i can finally get my life back again. maybe some of my spunk will return because apparently it was missing as i was informed by a friend a few weeks earlier.

but this is more than just the end of a job. i leave clients all the time and move on to the next one without a second thought but never in my three and half years here have i devoted more time and energy and become so passionate about work and meeting the deadline. no team has ever met it before. at least not in the past three years anyways. we all became obsessed is the only way i can describe it. obsessed with finishing. obsessed with being the first to meet the deadline. obsessed with relishing in the joy of telling the client to fuck off for being such dicks to us. in my head of course and pardon my language. i am known to swear after normal working hours.

i don't think anyone can really understand except the four of us. my team i'm referring to of course. no matter how much i try to explain it or describe it no one will truly know. even i can't quite wrap my mind around it but this is probably the worst and best experience in my three and half years in the corporate world to date. the best referring to my co-workers. we rocked. never did i think i'd get so close to people i work with but i guess that's what happens when you essentially see them more than anyone else in your life for three months straight. the worst being the client who hated us, the room where everyone got sick, the late hours, the frustration and yet a little part of me is still contemplating recurring next year. yes slap me now please. i probably do need a rude awakening.

my city vacation has not exactly turned out as i had hoped. for the past week or so i've become a working machine. little to no chatting. no phone calls. turned down all lunch requests and happy hours. my life just stopped completely. all i did was work and then work some more. our routine came down to working till 10pm in the room with no air conditioning to where it felt like i was sweating on a hot humid day in taiwan to going back to the hotel room and showering only to meet up again in my co-workers room thirty minutes later to work some more till 3 or 4am when i couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. we pulled in desks and chairs from the other rooms and the place that we've all been calling home for the past couple of months became a makeshift office. even i wasn't quite sure how i did it. working till midnight for an entire month? who knew i had it in me.

but we did it. the deadline was met yesterday night around 9pm. it was quite an emotional day evidenced by the fact that when the IT guys sent us flowers with a card saying "you'll be missed" myself along with another co-worker both got a little teary eyed. don't ask why. throughout the day everyone kept asking how many issued? how many more to go? but when the last email was sent and the entire team including the partner and manager went out for a celebration dinner i hadn't felt that proud of myself or my team in quite a while. this is easily the best team i've ever worked with. like one of them said, if i was on the job with anyone else i probably would of quit by now. it's hard to describe but as we were all pulling our luggage and carrying our roses to the bart station to go our separate ways a wave of sadness washed over me. cheesy yes i know.

it was all worth it though. having the partner treat us to a nice expensive dinner to having the manager check in for the night at the same hotel and hitting up the bars at north beach where we all drank and danced the night away. stopping off at seven eleven to look for more alcohol only to find none and then passing out in my hotel room only to wake up this morning and realize that hey i don't need to go to work. we've got the day off and you know the manager loves the team when she too comes shopping with us in the city. it was easily one of the best days i've had this month. no stress. no work hanging over my head. just overall elation as the day we've all been looking forward to has finally arrived. there's even talk of a vegas trip. vegas with co-workers? i haven't even gone to vegas with a lot of my other friends.

it's going to be weird working with a new team and being on a new client but after my job in orange county this week i don't intend on flying anywhere for a while. a couple weeks at least anyways. it felt good tonight to come home and open up the mail and get my life in semi order. paid the mortgage. paid the homeowner fees. paid my cell phone bill. and i'm even looking forward to coming back and cleaning up my room once and for all. finally i can put my luggage away and organize my life and if i'm real good i'll even try to make it to a couple of kickboxing classes here and there.

the coveted double eyelid. i watched a documentary if you can call it that by suchin pak the other night on mtv about asian girls and their never ending quest to obtain the double eyelid. if you are asian and don't know what i'm talking about it's safe to bet that you have an extra crease above your eye. be sure to thank your parents. just why is the double eyelid so coveted anyways? several questions were raised. are we trying to look more american? are we hiding from our true culture? is it so we can fit in more at school? i say bs to all this. i hate it when people overanalyze things. especially on a topic such as this but then again i am a simple kind of girl. let me let you in on a little secret. the real reason having a double eyelid is so great is due to the world of eyeshadows. yes you heard me correctly. eyeshadows. i've seen the wonders of what eyeshadow can do but without the double eyelid you can pretty much just forget about it.

it's not just having a double eyelid though. it's having a deep set double eyelid. very rarely seen on an asian. full asian anyways. being mixed does not count. every girl knows the three rules of applying eyeshadow. light colors on the brow bone. medium shade in between and then dark right above the eye. i think these are the three rules anyways. i didn't use to be a glamour subscriber for nothing. however when you lack the double eyelid all these rules must go out the window. trust me. i've tried. makeover gurus at sephora and at makeup counters have tried. it all turns out looking like an experiment gone horribly wrong. who wants to walk around with two black eyes. actually i take that back. miss sharon kim has worked wonders with my eyes but seeing how she lives clear across the country that really does me no good. how i long to use three shades of eyeshadow without walking out of the house looking like a freak.

i remember when i was younger i had zero double eyelids. nada. but sometimes if i was lucky and really sleepy the double crease on one eye would make a rare appearance. i loved it. i would try to stay awake as long as i could just to stare at it in the mirror. then one day i woke up and the crease on that one eye was here to stay. but then came an even greater dilemma. when taking pictures one eye would look bigger than the other so the only remedy? to train myself to smile more on one side of my face to even things out. but then i was introduced to the world of creating a double eyelid by using tape. if you don't know what i'm talking about ask me. i'll gladly show you...it'll be fun! who knew tape had so many qualities. the tape remedy lasted until a couple of years later (or maybe it was months?) when the second double eyelid showed up and ever since then i've been one happy girl.

i know you're probably thinking...does the double eyelid deserve this much recognition and heartache? i'd have to say yes. call me narcissistic but as an asian girl who went from none to two over a span of a couple years, i can tell you that it made a big difference in my life. sad i know. there's not one day that goes by that i don't thank the fact that my mom had big enough eyes to compensate for my dad's and that jon got the little eyes of the family. hey he got the body he can't possibly get the eyes too. now what can you learn from my tragic experience? marry white and all this trouble could be prevented in the future. oh wait did i just say that out loud?