the way guys think about sex is pretty much synonymous with the way girls think about food. i would almost argue that girls think about food more. whether it is mentally possible or not i would say girls think about food every minute of each day. whether it's sitting in a restaurant thinking about what to order or sitting at work thinking about what you're going to order during lunchtime it's all the same. food is on our minds constantly. and not in a healthy way. for guys in thinking about sex it's all about how they can get some. should i put on my dancing shoes and wow the girls at the club or maybe take them out to a nice romantic evening and show them my sensitive side. for girls it's all about how to avoid food or if we must stuff calories into our mouths how we'll be better the next day. my thought last night during dinner while surrounded by good friends from work was a mental debate with myself of whether i should reach for that third slice of bread or not. if you know me at all i'm sure you know what the outcome was. then came the dilemma of whether i should be using butter and as i slowly and deliberately applied it onto my bread all i could think about was how the carbs were going straight to my black ass and maybe i should try to run an extra five minutes on the treadmill. now multiply this by the thousands of minutes each day and you've got a small view into a girl's mindset.

scary isn't it? i was having a conversation last night with a friend in which he argued that guys prefer girls who are curvy and womanly (or in girl terms "fat") but we know this is not true. just take a look around us. skinny is in. all we need to do is take a look at the sizes in forever 21. although it highly ranks as one of my favorite stores even i must gasp at how little some of the clothes are. you want me to fit into that? do i look like a 12 year old to you? and the ultimate confirmation skinny is in...take a look at a picture of the olsen twins recently. oops i mean mary-kate and ashley. they look closer to being heroin addicts than tv stars.

i write this blog as i sit here having just returned from lunch at the farmer's market where i've eaten an entire crepe filled with eggs, ham, artichoke hearts and sundried tomatoes (may sound nasty but was actually really good but i could of done without so many artichokes), half of a tri tip sandwich and a custard pastry that is sitting next to me to be eaten right after this is published. it's quite sickening i know.

these days the message being sent to impressionable teenagers (aka me and yes i know i am no longer a teenager...my mom tells me that plenty) is if you're skinny and hot your life will be a million times better. and for a minute or so each day i buy into that theory only to realize what good is a world of barbie dolls anyways. there's not enough old rich men for them to go after. but take a look at the crop of new tv shows such as the swan or extreme makeover. mtv has even followed suit in paying teenage boys to go under the knife to look like brad pitt. if anyone saw the episode i don't care how much money you put into their bodies, a brad pitt isn't on the other side. i saw an episode of swan where a contestant's own child didn't recognize them. do we all cheer in elation at the new beautiful woman she's become or mourn for the death of the woman she was?

i may think about food all day long and feel guilty when i overeat which is quite often actually but i'd much rather enjoy my hamburgers with the buns on please and a world where krispy kreme does not feel the need to market a low calorie donut. oxymoron right there.

passion. i was asked a couple years back from a close friend of mine what my passions were and sadly i couldn't really think of anything. some of the things my friends are passionate about are movies, computers, fishing, sports, music, snowboarding, wine, cars and the list goes on and on. but for me and even to this day i'm hard pressed to name one thing that i'm passionate about. why this is i've always thought about but have never really been able to come up with any answers. now i have a lot of different interests but that's not the same. there's not one thing i'm so interested in that i'll take the extra initiative and go out of my way to find articles or what not to delve deeper into the subject. others i know will scour magazines, newspapers, the internet to find out any and all information they can but i don't ever get the urge really to do that. as jon said to me once, you read an article that you find interesting but then that's it. you don't try to find out more about the topic or ask additional questions. i very rarely ever browse on the internet and when i do want to find something, such as the nick berg video i shoot off an email to my internet guru and voila the video is sent to me the following day. i have it by the way if anyone is as sick and twisted as me.

my room is filled with half used things bought in a state of inspiration only to sit in my cabinet for when the whim strikes me again. there was the time i had the fancy to organize and create scrapbooks of all my pictures. i created two and that was the end of that. or the time when i dedicated myself to creating a collage of izone pictures and well that bulletin is still in my room half filled. or when i decided i wanted to learn more about wine and i think i've read a total of three wine spectator magazines and have yet to make a trip to napa. although that will change this summer even if i have to go myself. i even joined a cooking club where you receive new recipes every three months and i diligently filed my cooking cards away in its proper place only to have used maybe three or four of those recipes to date. i am hoping to make more use of it in the future though. those cards aren't cheap you know.

i used to think that there was something wrong with me since i didn't and could not name any of my passions and it made me less interesting (which it probably still does) but i've gotten over it. i don't even really have any hobbies. i remember when i was little i used to collect stickers and jon did too and we had matching sticker books. we're cute i know. makes you want to puke doesn't it? i also collected stamps and different types of buttons and erasers only to give them all away eventually. i guess the only thing i really collect now is pigs but even that is waning over time. mainly because it takes up too much storage space and these days i'm all about as little clutter as possible.

i did have someone say or maybe it was jon again that he thought my passion was boys but then again isn't it for all girls? for now i'm quite content with my interests and maybe one of these days something will come along that is just so damn interesting it'll actually turn into a passion but for now i'll still read up on my hollywood gossip like there's no tomorrow.