Dilapidation

I learned what this word meant today and while I'll probably never get to use it again except at work, I immediately liked it. Di-la-pi-da-tion. I just like all the consonants the multiple syllables and fits how I've been feeling lately.

It's been a pretty hectic month. Work is starting to get busier and busier and it seems that all I do on weekdays now is go to work, come home around 10pm and by the time I check twitter, emails and maybe one cheesy reality show on TV, it's time for bed. Sometimes I wonder why I decided to go into another start-up and while the hours aren't nearly as bad as when I first started working out of college, at my age now, these aren't really the hours I want to be pulling either.

Gone are the days where I enjoyed working till late into the evening because I really believe in the company. These days I just want to enjoy being at work and do a good job but still get off with enough time to hang out with my boyfriend, see my friends, catch a movie every now and then or go on a bike ride. It's been about two months since I got my bike and I still have yet to go on a bike ride on a weekday except for the very first week that I bought it.

August has probably been my busiest month yet work-wise. Throw in there a weekend jaunt to Vegas followed by a week long vacation in San Diego, the month just flew by. This was my first time to Vegas where we rented a private cabana for a pool party and I pretty much decided that this is what we need to do everytime we go. It's the only way and was hands down my favorite part of the trip. For next time, if I could just throw in a showing of O which I have yet to see still and I'll be in heaven. My only regret is that I forgot to place a bet for the 2013 champions, Boston Celtics as Jon and I have put one down for the past two years together.

Then it was a one whole week vacation in San Diego where the heat really got to me (yes SF has made me weak) but it was probably my most productive trip home in a while. I was determined not to let my vacation days go to waste so there were lots of brunch meetups, a cousin trip to Sea World which was such a highlight that we left with some Shamu salt on us and a day spent inside of a wood workshop where I sanded for hours but felt so proud at the end looking at the 35 iPad stands I helped make.

On top of these trips, I also turned a year older last week. It was spent celebrating with my closest friends here for a night of country line dancing (which was all I could of asked for and more) and then on my actual bday, all you can eat/drink shabu shabu followed by some dancing at Milk after just to reminise for old time's sake. Of course I spent the entire time falling asleep on the side but that just goes to show you how my endurance is not what it used to be.  I find that the older I get the smaller my circle of friends is and the more of a recluse I've become.

Which is probably why I find myself at home on a Friday night alone, having just spent the last two hours cleaning my apartment. I finally unpacked my bags from my trips, vacuumed, dismantled boxes to be recycled, lots of swiffering and now that everything is put away nice and tidy I feel that I can finally breathe and relax.

When we were little, I was always known as the more social one and Jon was the quiet, shy one but these days the tables have definitely turned. Jon has become the social butterfly and I'm usually there by association standing to the side not having much to say. It's nice that I have a boyfriend who can pretty much talk to anyone about anything which I find I rely on more and more these days because I've become one of those people. You know the ones who never really have anything to talk about except for their work. That's how i feel these days. I have no clue what the hot topics are anymore and even if I did, I probably wouldn't be able to remember it as my memory gets worse every single day.

Before I ramble on any longer let me leave you with a song (or a couple as I couldn't decide on just one ultimately) that I've been playing on repeat tonight. Actually I've been playing this whole album on repeat while writing this blog. The way I discovered this band was that in high school I had a big crush on this guy (not too surprising) and I knew that he really loved a band called Beautiful so I took myself to the Warehouse and ended up buying the wrong CD. I got Beautiful South instead and didn't realize it until it was too late and I was too embarrassed to give it to him so I ended up keeping it and now it's one of my favorite albums.

I didn't know how to upload just the song so had to resort to putting up the Youtube clip. Please don't let the cheesy videos distract you from the song. Just listen to the song. How anyone can not love this is beyond me. I could listen to this album for days on end.

 

No Regrets

There's a couple of personal blogs that I follow pretty religiously and for the most part, most of them blog almost everyday or every other day and it's the first thing I check when I wake up in the mornings hoping to see an update from one of these sites. Some of them I like because the writing is fantastic and I wish I could write like them. Some post about their random everyday lives which is pretty mundane for the most part but for some odd reason I'm very drawn to them. I usually tend to gravitate toward the blogs where the writing is pretty informal and I can hear their voice through their writing. Most of the time these blogs don't really impact me in any way. I just read them and then move on but today one of them did. I've been following this particular blog for a little over a year now and I can't even really remember how or why I started following them in the first place. It's pretty much a blog of this person's everyday life from what they do, who they meet up with all with an emphasis on what they eat everyday. I'm sure this sounds pretty boring and I assure you that it is but everyday, I read it and look at the pictures (most of them the same as the meals don't tend to differ that much) and part of the reason why I like it so much is because I know they will post not once but usually at least twice a day. It's like a little treat for me whenever I refresh my reeder I can usually count on a post first thing in the morning and then a second one sometime in the early evening.

About two weeks ago, this blogger's dad went into the hospital for surgery and ended up in the intensive care unit due to complications. For the past two weeks, I've been reading and living the experience at the hospital and when finally, things seemed to be turning around and he seemed to be getting better, I woke up this morning to find out that he suddenly passed away last night without warning. And reading this news made me incredibly incredibly sad. It took me a bit for the news to fully settle in and a bit longer for me to get my day started. Obviously this brought back memories and it made me think about how quickly one's life can change, just at a drop of a pin (is that the phrase people use?) and your whole life can be turned upside down just like that. One minute you think you're on top of the world and things are going great and then a minute later, everything comes crashing down and your whole life is different.

I can still remember distinctively where I was and who I was with when I found out the news about my dad. Sad to say but with the exception of one, I don't really keep in touch with any of those friends anymore even though they are the ones who has seen me at my most vulnerable. My own family hasn't even seen me like that. It really got me thinking that we really need to take the time to appreciate not just our family members but everyone that you care about because it's just too easy to take relationships and friendships for granted. Everyone is so busy with their own lives that it's hard to find the time to make each experience meaningful. I'm really glad that I'm at a point where I really do enjoy being around the company of my mom because that wasn't always the case and that I've been able to make the time in the past couple of years to make family visits a priority.

I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened to this person's father today and all I can say is that if you're around someone you love, be sure to give them an extra hug or a nice pat on the back today because you just never know.

In My Old Age

The other day I went on a craigslist run for a credenza (I really love saying that word, with the emphasis on the nnnnnnnnn) and the person who was selling the item turned out to be a 70 year-old man who was retired, had lost his partner and had made the decision to sell his life belongings and move to Panama. All because he could no longer afford to live where he lives based on his income. Now this was a man who had lived in the Bay Area for at least 30 years (I know because he still had the receipt for the credenza which he gave to us) and had never been to Panama in his life. He picked the location based on an extensive internet search and chose it for its weather, friendly ex-Pat community and the fact that he could live much more cheaply than he can here. Now I just want to point out that it's not as if he was living in the city where everything is exorbitantly priced. He lived quite modestly about a hour away north of San Francisco and in a very rural area. The price he currently pays for rent is about what I was paying for my apartment in San Jose back when I had just graduated from college.

He had worked in IT for his career and with the fast changing times, it just became too hard for him to keep up and stay relevant in the field when he's competing against recent college graduates who grew up with the internet and computer their whole lives. While he was exceedingly excited about this change and really seemed to be in good spirits, the whole idea of it made me sad and worried about not just for my own retirement but for my mom's as well.

I find myself wondering what his kids had said or thought when he first brought this up to them. I know for me, if my mom would of told me this, there's no way I would of been ok with it. I would of rather have her move in with me if possible or find a way somehow to be able to support the both of us if necessary. My friend had said that it's probably a culture difference as well but it also got me thinking about my own retirement and how maybe I'm not saving enough and I should be more responsible with what I spend my money on these days.

When I first graduated college, I had met with my financial planner, whom I still have to this day and love, he encouraged me to open up a couple of different retirement accounts even if it was to only put in $100/month. At the time, I had wanted to put all my savings into short term accounts for a down payment on a new car or something more fun but I listened to him and now I'm very glad that I did. It gives me comfort to know that I'm saving for the future but I have no idea if it's enough or not. If I think about it for too long, getting old really depresses the hell out of me and it probably doesn't help that I just recently read an article about a man who's father was sent to a hospice to live and was expected to pass away within a few months due to cancer. However, now it's ten years later and he's still alive. He wears a diaper, has to be spoon-fed and sits in a wheelchair all day long, a shadow of his former self. I would never want to be like that one day.

I've started following the guy's blog and he promised he would be updating his adventures once he got to Panama and after his four/five month exploratory visit, he'll decide whether he will be able to make a new life for himself down there or if he will come back to the States and live in an assisted living facility.

What is my point in all this besides making myself sad whenever I think about it. I guess it's to stop and remember how lucky we are and to not take anything for granted. And if you haven't already, to start putting some of your hard-earned money away each month for the future because I can only have so many people living with me when we're old and frail.

A Banner Year

I can't believe it's been over six months since my last post and that in 2011, I only had a total of three entries. Now that is just downright pathetic. One of my friends who has two small kids (with one of them being a newborn) regularly updates her blog and also puts up lots of pictures and videos on a consistent basis. If she can do it, I should be able to at least blog once a month right? I will try to make that a new goal for this year and also because I won't have to spend my free time studying anymore! Yes, that's right. As of this week, I am officially licensed as a C P A. The application process took me a little longer than I expected but I finally got my certificate and license number this week and you can bet that I'll be framing that thing and putting it up in my study.

After working to get this for almost 11 years now, the fact that I now have it seems kind of anti-climatic. I had always said that if I ever got my CPA, I was going to throw myself a big party or take my friends on a vacation to celebrate but now that it's here, I have no desire to do any of those things. Just knowing that I have it is enough and I'm ready to move on.

But before I do, I need to at least write a little recap of my year in 2011 as it really was a banner year for me. While I just got my CPA license now, I actually found out in September that I had passed my last exam which meant I was pretty much done and just needed to complete the application. I found out when I was in New York surrounded by my brother, my boyfriend and my best guy friend so it really couldn't have been any more perfect than that except for the fact that it was late at night and they were all half falling asleep so it was just me jumping around excitedly for a few minutes. Now I've blogged before about what the CPA means to me and how much I wanted it so I won't go into it again but I'm just relieved to have it finally be done and not have it be something that I would regret forever.

Another big event for me was that I signed up and ran the Nike Women's half marathon in October and actually liked it. Now I would probably be the last person on earth anyone would of ever expected to do something like this, myself included, but I really surprised myself. I joined up with a training team and found myself at track practice every week and waking up for 8am weekend runs for three months straight. I can't tell you how accomplished I felt at the end of it and what a high it was.

I also after almost six years with my last company, left and got myself a new job. It's still in the early stages and I'm still meandering around but I'm slowly starting to get more situated although it has been pretty stressful and bigger of an adjustment than what I thought it would be.

This post is slowly turning into a what I did today type which I know many people seem to hate on (ahem you know who you are) so I'll stop now but I at least wanted to write something down for myself as a reminder of what a big year it was for me so I can look back on it and not forget. I'll try to be more diligent in updating too because my memory seems to keep getting worse and worse as the days go on and it's nice to be able to look back on my blog and moblog to see what I've been up to because everything seems to pass by in a big blur now when looking back.

Another change I decided for 2012 is to start blogging using capital letters. Don't fall off your chair now but I finally had to relent and agree that it does make the posts easier to read and just looks better. I'm finally growing up folks!

Out With the Old