tonight marked the first of three concerts ill be attending in the next month or so and boy was it a great start. jon g and i along with two of his high school friends went to watch alicia keys tonight and damn she was amazing. and boy can she sing. i always knew she would be good live but i was completely blown away today. she was on for close to two hours and the time seemed to go by in a blink of an eye and i was left nodding my head and mouthing the words to myself. so very worth it.

things are starting to look on the up and up and if only i can pass my stupid cpa exam friday id be the happiest girl this side of the city. but i won't go into that now...that's another blog for another day. maybe tomorrow if you're lucky. and june is starting to shape out like it's going to be a pretty good month too. next up is the roots concert and then digable planets along with crowne city rockers. then there's dinner at a couple restaurants ive been wanting to try and my brother is coming up to visit for a week and then bam just like that it'll be time for vegas. i can't wait...let the countdown begin.

choosing the correct doctor. a lesson ive learned the hard way today. it wasn't until i started my first job out of college that i learned how important benefits are and the difference between hmo and ppo and heard for the first time the terms out of network and in network. all this has an effect on which medical plan you use and once that choice is made, you're left on your own to pick a primary care physician or pcp as most people refer to it as and really, when you have no medical background how are you to know which doctor is good or bad? sure you can ask your friends for recommendations but when you're new to the city and so are most of the people you're surrounded by, you're left to your own devices. while perusing through the listing of available doctors, it's easy to come up with some of your criteria but really, how technical can it be? essentially your choice on who you decide to be your main doctor for the next couple of years (assuming you stay with the company of course) comes down to some trivial questions such as female or male? closeness to your home? school attended? age? ethnicity maybe? but really...there's no way to tell if a doctor is qualified or not. this really is a big decision because the person you choose will ultimately be responsible for your health and making sure everything is a-ok. im sure there's ways you can research but i was not one of them.

i was being naive and under the impression that doctors for the most part are qualified and really it was more a matter of whether i liked their personality or not. but after today, i intend on making my selections much more carefully as it seems my history in choosing doctors is not too great at the moment. im batting about a 50/50 right now. one of the doctors i chose turned out to be this old korean guy who essentially looked at me as if i was paranoid each time i came in asking for a prescription. this was during the time when i developed tonsilitis every couple of months so i was getting very good at figuring out when it was starting and would make an appt right away to get some anti-biotics because once it reaches a certain stage, it ain't pretty. but whenever i went in he would sort of laugh and not take me seriously which made me think that he thought i was imagining everything but nevertheless, i didn't really care too much as long as i got my medicine. part of the reason why i stayed with him for so long was because i knew i could get same day appts but beyond that, nada. he was of no help to me.

now i had another doctor that i really liked because she was personable, caring and my only complaint really was that she was too damn busy that it would take months to get an appt. however, with my current insurance ending at the end of this month, i was in a race to get in to see her but with the next available appt in october (ridiculous no?) i opted for another doctor in the same office. and that is where i went today. i proceeded to tell him my history and get him up to date on all that has happened and in so many words or less, he basically told me that i was given incorrect treatment and that my other doctor was incompetent. news that i took pretty well as i was actually more surprised that he made such a bold statement since i never had any doubt about my previous doctor before but really, how would i know anyways? i don't deal with this stuff, im a numbers kind of gal. and as he further proceeded to explain to me, it all seemed to make a lot more sense which made me start thinking that if it wasn't for my health insurance ending soon, i might of never found any of this out. this is probably why people go for second opinions but the thought never even crossed my mind.

in any case, he was pretty infuritated and upset and gave me the advice of, just because a doctor seems sociable or friendly and is warm and fuzzy does not always mean that they're competent. to which i asked, how will i know and of course no helpful response was really given. but on the other hand, what if this doctor is wrong and my other doctor is just fine or it could be that both doctors are incompetent? honestly isn't that a scary thought? because how DOES one find out and really the lesson learned here is you can't always trust what your doctors tell you. they aren't perfect so the next time you're deciding on who you want your pcp to be...you better do your research and not be too trusting like i was.

i spent a little over $300 at one of our retail stores today...and that's not even including my discount. in all i purchased $525 worth of cosmetics and face products which was pretty much how much i was planning on spending going in. all this was not just for me of course. now that would just be too selfish. in total, i purchased four bottles of men's face cleanser to be distributed among four lucky guys and you know who you are, an anti aging lotion for my mom, a complete set of the skincare regimen for myself, a skincare kit for one of my former managers, two of their powders and i think four makeup brushes. which is a little funny because i think i own about a total of five makeup brushes now but essentially whatever ive always wanted i bought. and oh now that i think about it, i forgot to pick up one of their eye makeup removers...oh well i guess i'll just have to go back and get it on my next trip.

but ive never in my life bought so much at once in beauty products without even bothering to look at the price or count in my head how much i was willing to spend. and what a great feeling it was. while most people know them for their makeup, im most excited about using their skincare products. ive only been using it for three days now trying to make the sample packs i got last as long as possible and already i love it. and plus it's so much fun when you start on a new skincare regimen.

and once ive got the skin part taken care of, i intend on going back and getting more makeup products. for the time being, ill just have to use the ones i got when i was interviewing. seriously though, can it get any better? makeup samples at an interview? ridiculous. i think im on a shopping high at the moment because it's been a couple of months since ive made any large purchases and to think, i haven't even gone on a clothing shopping spree yet. as my knowledge of makeup and how to apply it is pretty limited, helen has promised to come along to help me pick out colors and boy did the colors look pretty sitting out on the counters.

today has been a great day. got off work around 6pm, briefly contemplated the thought of going on a run but decided to sit on my fat ass instead where i snacked on some barbecue flavored pringles and waited for jon g to get home from the gym so we could go eat. and what did we get...big fat juicy burgers from burger meister. an onion and mushroom burger with a side of onion rings for me and a bacon cheeseburger with a side of french fries for him. very fattening yes but i don't mind so much at the moment. however, im sure i'll be regretting it once it comes time for bathing suit season. but boy oh boy was it good.

all this was enjoyed while watching the premiere of chaotic. a show that i forced jon g to watch with me much to his chagrin. for those who don't know, chaotic marks the premiere of the reality show of the federlines. as in britney and kevin federline. yes i am a huge closet britney spears fan and i had been anticipating this all day. it's a sad life i live but during the one hour show, all i did was cringe in fear that she didn't do anything else to make herself look like a bigger fool than she already was doing and rolling my eyes at jon g for each one of her antics but i loved it. im not sure what it is about britney that i still like but im not so blind to not know that yes she has turned into white trash after justin but boy when she really wants/need to be, she can look damn hot. and is it wrong for me to say that i even found kevin to be a bit attractive? not look wise so much but more the attitude and the fact that he just looks like a bad boy.

but that wasn't even the greatest part of my day. the highlight was that jon g gave me all of his itune songs. that's right ladies and gentlemen, my mini ipod in a short ten minute span increased from a mere 200 songs to a staggering 850! it may not sound like much for you hardcore itune folks out there but for me, that is amazing. ive been wanting to get jon g's songs for a while now because whether he likes it or not, we do have some similarity in music taste (although he'll deny it to the end) and now it's all there on my trusty mini. i might even be needing an upgrade!

then to top off the entire night, i learned the "correct" method of organizing my songs. apparently i shouldn't be making changes to song titles or genre directly on my itunes, i should be changing it in my music folder. which makes sense when i think about it, changes should be made to the source document. i should of known this of course but i just never knew how to do it and now i do. it gets quite addicting too...this organizing thing could potentially cripple me in staying in an entire day just changing song titles.

and if i haven't disgusted you enough in discussing my fascination with britney and my lack of knowledge in anything computer related (that's why it's good to have a twin into that stuff...to solve all my computer and blog relates issues) my new favorite song of the moment is incomplete by the backstreet boys.

you can go ahead and throw up now.

instant messenger. it's now been a full two weeks of not getting on yahoo messenger during work hours and much to my surprise, the world hasn't ended, i don't feel that out of the loop and things are chugging along just fine. this is a bold statement coming from a girl who became an instant messenging addict back when i entered corporate america for the first time. the ironic thing is that i never really used to be a big fan back in college but then when you're stuck in a cube and in front of a laptop for hours on end, it's amazing how dependent one could become. and then when i was introduced to yahoo launchcast, my days were preoccupied with rating songs left and right.

pretty soon my yahoo messenger was filled with "work" friends...those trusty ones who you could depend on to log on day in and day out and during busy season time, the bright yellow face next to their name brought comfort in knowing that yes another person was out there suffering and working along with you. at least that's what i like to tell myself anyways. i tried to chat as little as possible as i am a professional after all and have shit to do but every once in a while id get myself in laugh out loud conversations and it was a good way to keep on top of the news as i would be sure to receive two or three links throughout the day. plus when else but at midnite could my fellow co workers and i be so sick of working that we all created avatars...a splitting cartoon image of me i tell you. or at least that's what i've been told.

but as we all know, instant messenging makes one less efficient and could be considered a distraction although really i would argue it kept me sane for a couple of years. but it wasn't until last year when i went to new jersey for work and had no internet connection that i realized just how damn productive i could be. without internet, there was no taking mini breaks to check email or surf the net or chat for a bit...without internet i was forced to *gasp* work and when bored, there was nothing else to do but move onto another task and my associates and i couldn't help reveling in just how much work we were getting done.

and since i just started my new job recently i thought it would be best if i didn't download messenger right away but now im starting to rethink whether i even want to or not. i could be gone forever! don't cry now please. my work productivity could only go downhill from then on anyways and there is just too much to do. besides im reveling in my efficiency these days and well who said i can't trade emails back and forth from work all day long right? it's almost just as good as messenger. so for the time being, please keep those links coming! only pg rated of course and continue to send raunchier links to my personal account.

four engagement announcements in two days. what is this world coming to? so i recently found out that four of my friends or actually i should say three of my friends and one guy i met on a plane some time ago whom i haven't spoken to in a while but nevertheless was on his engagement evite list are engaged. while this is great news of course but it is once again a reminder that slowly and surely my friends will be falling off the single bandwagon and then i will be left being the constant third wheel.

thankfully im still surrounded by a core of single friends who are far far away from being engaged, i think anyways, so that i can put off reality a little bit longer.

september 18, 2000. my start date if my memory serves me correctly. four and a half years. that's a damn long time to dedicate oneself to anything and through that time, ive endured five busy seasons with this past one being the worst to date yet. lots of working till 4 or 5am only to be back at work again at 9am and looking back im pretty surprised i even lasted this long. it was always my intention to only stay two with a max of three years but as the years flew by, it just seemed natural i would at least stay until manager but alas that is not to be the case. im up for manager next year and my last day is tomorrow.

part of me is excited of course but there's a part of me that's also wondering if im doing the right thing and making the right choice. it seems in life certain things are considered to be life events. going off to college. graduating college. getting your first full time job and i would consider the job right after your first one would qualify too. before you were the dumbstruck college graduate who wasn't sure what they wanted to do career wise and was just happy to be even given a job offer. now you're a little bit older and wiser and dare i say more picky and don't need to jump at the first job that comes your way as you've spent a couple years in corporate america and actually possess some skills that are deemed desirable in the workplace. it's a nice feeling knowing you have options.

i would say it takes someone who's actually gone through public to really truly understand what those first couple of years are like. it's a rite of passage and creates instantaneous bonding with others you meet. most of the time anyways. some people have described the experience as:

"The last form of slavery in the US. This is where many young people begin careers and work 115 hours a week until they either quit or die from exhaustion. Former employees often have scarred backs from the whip marks."

"An environment/hell, in which the term 'work-life balance' is used to convince bright, young professionals to accept jobs. Once on the other side, it becomes apparent very fast that it doesn't exist, but the majority of employees stay, because the managers continue to say they are "working" to improve 'work-life balance'"

all of which i wholeheartedly agree with and would think many of my co-workers would confirm as well but yet even with the hours and the stress and the lack of social life at some points there's still a part of me who recognize the experience ive learned and will miss it. but most of all, im most grateful for the friends that ive made. lifelong friends as a matter of fact and without them i'd probably be going insane at the moment. what other job will you find 120 freshly graduated college students all starting at the same time and then thrown out onto clients and somehow managing? i could probably count on one hand the number of people still left today from my start group and im almost willing to bet that within one or two more years, they'll all be gone as well.

why? because sooner or later you realize you don't want to be slaving away late at night and on weekends anymore and even the gratification of meeting your deadlines doesn't do it for you anymore. and as more and more friends leave and you hear about the "other side" you can't help but wonder why you continue to toil away late into the night but at much less pay. and as you look around some more and see managers who all seem to have aged so fast and work hellish hours day in and day out and you have got to think to yourself, is this really what i want to be doing the next couple of years?

i think not so it is with great sadness that im putting this chapter of my life behind me but also great excitment as ill be moving on to pretty much what i imagined my ideal job to be if i ever left. it's located in sf, laidback atmostphere including my boss which is a double plus and best of all, it's for a cosmetics company and really what girl hasn't thought about working in retail to take advantage of discounts? and yes i get good ones so it should be fun. and a special thanks to mr pio roda and mr marshman for the constant encouragement and helping me to see the light. who knows i may even be able to start making dinner plans on a weekday now...something i hardly ever did before.