im back and i have no desire to return for a long long time. to taiwan that is. ive always had a love/hate relationship with taiwan with the high being love boat obviously which will always count as perhaps my best summer ever and since then in 1997, ive only gone back twice. once three or four years ago with enid and carolyn along with jon and victor and the second being this past week. the two big differences between the two was that the first time i stayed at enid's house, someone who actually knew her way around and could take me places and liked the same things i did and also that i visited during the wintertime. i never really understood why jon and victor were so bored the last time they went back that they spent their hours wasting away at an internet cafe chatting on aim of all things but now i get it.

the reason for my return this past week was i was a bridesmaid for my best friend's wedding and while the wedding itself went off without a hitch and i fit into my bridesmaid dress (my biggest worry at the time) the trip overall didn't leave a very positive lasting impression of taiwan in my mind. at all. and here are a few of the reasons why.

1) it was just too damn hot. and humid. coupled with the fact that my grandpa isn't a fan of the cold so the a/c was hardly ever turned on and that there was no a/c in my room which made sleeping at night practically unbearable and doing anything during the day pretty much worthless, leading to some pretty boring days. so much so that i finished the historian, a 650 page book while i was there. a really good book for those looking for something to read.

2) the fact that each time i saw another set of relatives i was told matter of factly that i had gotten fat and was very tall. which is to be expected i suppose as i was told the same thing the last time i visited but it still was able to make me feel like a wide tall freak of nature walking the streets of taipei. and one wonders why girls these days have image issues.

3) for some reason, the instant i hang out with my relatives, i revert back to being a ten year old. someone who tags along to whatever is decided and unable to voice my opinions in my horrible chinese. another sad fact that my eleven years of chinese school has not been good to me in the past couple of years of not practicing. i honestly had a hard time trying to get my thoughts out and apparently i seemed young and clueless enough that my aunt had to proclaim to me that if i felt the need to use the bathroom while riding the bus on my own from taichung, there was one available in the back.

4) the two things i look forward to the most while visiting is the food and night market shopping, both of which i didn't get a chance to do much of. oh don't get me wrong i ate like a whale out there (how could i not when i was fed five times a day, my relatives certainly weren't helping me in my "fat" phase) but i ate mostly at home. i ate nothing at the night markets the two nights i went and as for shopping, wll let's just say, next time i know to go by myself and not with relatives. i went with one suitcase and left with one suitcase which was pretty disappointing, i usually come back with at least one of just of stuff ive bought over there.

5) im not sure why ive never noticed this before but there's at least two salesperson for each customer anytime you go into a store. even at the duty free shops in the airport they were following me around like a lap dog and even when i said in my most polite chinese that no im just looking they still kept tagging along. it really is quite annoying...

this isn't to say that there weren't some positives to my trip. i was quite impressed with the subway system there, i could figure it out pretty easily and it was clean and organized much to my surprise. i did get to see grace married off and even had time to club together one night...ahh the good old days of love boat. i learned my tolerance level in drinking was quite high there but i guess when you're comparing to waifish 100 pound girls, it's not that easy to beat.

and now here i sit at jimmy's luxury apartment with the free a/c blogging away at three thirty in the morning not tired at all as i didn't wake up until 2pm today. jet lag is a bitch isn't it. but ive never been so happy as the moment i stepped out of lax to be back. my bug bites have already gone down considerably and i haven't felt the need to take two showers a day. california...it really is the best place on earth to live.

i was introduced to the world of jollibee this weekend (to be pronounced jolly-bee not jolie-bee as i initially thought) and apparently it's all the rage in the philippines. ive never even heard of it before and had no idea this existed here in the bay area but it really is like entering a whole new world.

saturday when jon g had a craving for fried chicken my first response was oh kfc is right down the street but little did i know that it was jollibee he was craving. he assured me it was the greatest thing on earth, i mean it's got to be right if we're driving thirty minutes out of the city for some fried chicken so i go only to be in a state of bewilderment for the next hour.

first off - it really is a fast food place. think in n out but with a picture of a squirrel (i think it's a squirrel) greeting you as you enter and the entire place was filled with filipinos. i really had no idea. and it just so happened that while we were there, half the place was closed off for a kid's birthday party complete with loud filipino music blaring out of a radio.

the menu consisted of literally just spaghetti and fried chicken. there's this red pork dish with egg that i like a lot but surprisingly enough they only served it during breakfast hours. breakfast hours! i was like who eats this in the morning but then again what do i know? and i got pretty excited because there was this boba drink on the menu but the only two flavors were taro and coconut which aren't my favorites but i had to try. so we order what else, the spaghetti and fried chicken along with my boba drink and this would be my first foray into filipino spaghetti.

i never even knew there was such a thing as filipino spaghetti but it's really good. it's sweeter and has bits of hot dogs in it and the fried chicken was nice and crisp too - i won't dare to compare to kfc here and the best part was it came with gravy and a little white container which i naturally assumed would be mashed potatoes but it was rice. oh my goodness - rice at a fast food restaurant? maybe this is the greatest place on earth.

but i spend the next thirty minutes while eating trying to figure this all out. apparently there's three of these jollibee's here and how is it that i never knew this existed? it's "comforting" and "reminds him of home" as jon g told me and i wonder - is this his 99 ranch for me? have i found the filipino equivalent? i left the place with a confused look on my face and almost felt as if i should of walked out with a balloon in hand as i felt like i had just visited an amusement park or something.

i guess you do learn something new everyday.

fantasy leagues. most if not all of my guy friends belong to a fantasy sports team of some kind. usually basketball or football but recently ive even heard of golf and nascar getting entered into the mix. seriously folks, nascar and golf? how do you even play fantasy for those type of sports? i never really got it. i even had a friend who was in six or seven different teams at one time and whenever the conversation would turn to fantasy sports, i automatically tuned out but not anymore because i am a proud owner of my own fantasy team! of celebrities that is and it's the greatest thing ever. who knew my us weekly subscription would turn out to be this much more entertaining. and it's all in thanks to my twin.

apparently some writer on espn.com initially wrote an article on creating a celebrity fantasy league and my twin being curious like me was eager to try so he formed one and surprisingly ten of our friends joined. ten! the way it works is that each team has to consist of 3 boys and 3 girls and you get points for how many times their picture appears in us weekly. more points for being on the cover obviously and negative points for appearing in they do it too or the bad fashion police section.

with 60 celebrities to choose from and drafting performed via email, it seemed to move at a snail's pace but then after the second round or so, things started rolling a bit faster and boy was the drafting process stressful. i came up with my very own draft list of all the celebrities i would possibly take and one by one, i slowly had to cross them off the list. i even got my co workers and friend (singular) into it and the friend even went so far as to call some of his (yes male that's correct) friends for suggestions. it was great though...every couple minutes at work i was refreshing my email to see if a new person was drafted and at some points, when people were taking too long we even had to follow up via text to figure out where they were. watching da vince code? that's no excuse for holding up the draft.

but now the draft is all completed, everyone's rosters have been set and one of the guys playing even made up a nifty spreadsheet calculating everyone's scores with a separate tab assigned to each player. this is our first week and lo and behold, damn angelina and brad had to have their baby and their pictures are plastered everywhere in the magazine. needless to say i didn't have a very hot week but no worries, ill catch up. i mean im the biggest celebrity guru i know!

we start add/drop and trades this week too which is a completely foreign concept to me but im hoping if i get my perfect team i won't have to worry about doing any of that...it's way too much work.

our first week scores should be coming out in a day or so so wish me luck in my first foray into fantasy leagues and keep up to date on our own celebrity blog too. don't feel guilty - you know you want to and please no comments or hints here on who to take as we are only in week 1 of this and i wouldn't want to give away any secrets. please email me if you have any good suggestions. ha that's not cheating is it?