enid has officially moved to the big apple and for some reason her move affected me more than i thought it would. at least when i first found out about it anyways. i find this very strange as prior to start of college, jon moved away to michigan and i didn't shed a tear until i saw his very depressing video roaming the halls of the dorms. but then i came to visit during xmas break and all was better in the world. james moved to irvine, gaga moved to berkeley, victor and jimmy moved to la and not one tear. more like a wave of a hand. i can't even be too sure we hugged. grace stayed close but i still never really saw her. maybe because i just knew we would all eventually end up in san diego again and my prediction basically came true. everyone is back and now it's me that lives the furthest away.

but for enid it was different. i felt like it was the closing of one chapter and the beginning of another while in the other instances, the chapter never closed. i'm not quite sure what it is but maybe it's because she's my first close friend to move post-college. first little dent in my bubble of san jose. i felt the need to plan a big clubbing nite (of which i forgot my id and the doorman had napoleon syndrome and demanded i leave because i was causing a disturbance), make her a scrapbook and sing our hearts out on karaoke night. there's no doubt in my mind we're going to keep in touch but it's different. maybe this is the difference between one of your childhood friends moving away versus a friend you met later on.

or it could be all of our parents live in san diego so we're bound to be back one time or another. whatever it is...i don't like it but i know it can't be helped. many more of my friends will be moving from san jose in the next couple years, myself included possibly and well, i guess it's just part of growing up.

i miss new york but more importantly, i just miss everyone. it was a ridiculously fun trip and i probably spent a little bit too much money but it was all well worth it. my effort in getting jon drunk by buying him corona after corona failed miserably but hey you can't fault me for trying. i did however succeed in getting myself quite tipsy along the way. us stupid californians (with the exception of the sagging monk) decided to leave sunday and missed sam's bbq but james has promised me he'll be photoshopping me, jon, victor and tien in. isn't he a great brother? we'll all be one big happy family now.

everyone can rest easy. i am one happy happy girl! my faith in the bachelor has been restored. so he strayed a bit but he came to his senses. even during kirsten's speech in the limo after being r-e-j-e-c-t-e-d all i could shout was bitch. you lost. yes go throw up. nobody cares. i'm being so mean and spiteful that even i'm a little scared of myself at this point but jen's engaged and that's all that really matters in the end isn't it? don't forget to watch the interview with the newlyweds wednesday night.

i know it's sad that i get so riled up about a tv show but i can't help myself. i'm sitting here now watching my taped finale of the bachelor and i find myself rolling my eyes each time kirsten comes up on screen and i'm even shouting at the tv because i want jen to win it so badly. i mean guys please tell me. is it just me that finds kirsten so fake and bitchy? while jen on the other hand is genuine, warm, sincere...and the list goes on and on. a lot of my guy friends think kirsten is hotter but i honestly don't think so. even taking out kirsten's bitchy attitude and basing it only on looks i find jen much better. i've rooted for her from the beginning.

just to show you how addicted i am to this show, i had bren tape it for me while we went bowling and i haven't taped anything since college. i really should be packing for new york or getting rest as jon says since i'm sick but i can't. i must know who wins and it's all i can do right now to not check it on the website. when i see jen and andrew together i get all giddy but with him and kirsten i can feel the anger boiling in my stomache.

i guess what i'm trying to say here through my ramblings and my anger is how how how can andrew be so blind? can he not see how fake she is? is he that blinded by her looks that he cares about nothing else? i mean even his brother had doubts about her and her sisters inferred in a very polite firestone way that she has no substance. hello mr andrew firestone. please wake up! i'm watching kirsten right now trying to bullshit her way through her lie and andrew is falling for it. does he have blinders on?

ugh...i can't blog anymore i'm getting so upset. i must concentrate on the show but let's just say depending on the outcome of this i will either be a very happy girl or very bitter. i just hope i still have the energy to pack after this is all over.

sororities and fraternities. what is the appeal really? not only are you someone's bitch for a month during initiation but you can't even complain about it because well...you voluntarily asked for this. going through hazing or whatever it's called now and then one month later those people are supposed to be your sisters? or brothers? give me a break. and those hazing activities i've heard is no small feat either. why would your future friends even want you to run and chug beer until you puke? and that's just the easiest task. why would you want to be friends with them anyways? i never had to make a fool out of myself for my closest friends. i do that out of my free will (something i'm quite proud of by the way). i never quite understood why sororities and fraternities were so popular in college. i suppose it's good for meeting a bunch of people right away but couldn't you just join one of the clubs on campus instead? for free? and it sounds impressive on your resume. especially if you join a dorky sounding one like student accounting society. and volunteer to be an officer. as weird as it may sound, i met all of my close friends from college at SAS. i'm even a bridesmaid at one of their weddings this summer. who says accountants aren't cool.

i did foray into the initiation world of sororities my sophomore year at state. not quite sure what came over me but there i was, among lots of blonde girls in cute little sundresses. and then there was me, a lone asian in jeans. i wasn't quite sure what to expect going in but at the very first meeting who do i see...katie abbot. seeing her there threw me for a loop because she was so unlike the type of girls i imagined in sororities that it instantly threw a little bit of my stereotypical image out the window. we bonded and endured the week of rush coming upon us. i went from house to house watching their acts and sitting through boring interviews with perky girls asking me "where are you from? what's your name? let me tell you why you should join alpha chi omega". there was one where they did a cowboy song and dance number and there was haystacks all over the house with the girls dancing on top that i thought was pretty cute but that's about as far as it went.

it was pretty funny actually to see what each house was known for. this little piggy has the sluts. this little piggy has the hottest chicks. and this little piggy gets straight a's but no boys. that house was virtually drooling to have me join. their winning pitch was "we all have gpa's above 3.7, study hour is from 7 - 9pm and we even have old exams you can study from!" wowzers i must join then!

i lasted all of one week. went to all the houses, met all the girls, put down my rankings of which i liked the best and just didn't show up one day. my leader called to express her disappointment in me but i didn't really care. i wasn't expecting any of the houses to want me either...i'm sure they could see me rolling my eyes but surprisingly i got a lot of callbacks. so i thought i'd give it one more try and went to dessert night and i'm sure you can guess how that went seeing how i don't think very highly of sororities and fraternities to this day.

i don't know very many people in sororities but the ones i have met were all very cool. i think maybe it's only when they get in groups the girls become catty and the boys become obnoxious. my perception has been even more solidified by watching sorority life and fraternity life recently. however, if i did join, i'm sure my guy friends would all be very happy as i would certainly have more girlfriends than i do now and wouldn't their heads just explode if i joined one of the hot ones?

xbox live. this has got to be one of the most exciting inventions to date. i've spend a good part of the night watching tri and bren play wolfenstein, halo and now nhl hockey 2k3. i've heard bren rave tons of times before about how great xbox live is going to be and how he can't wait until it comes out but i never really listened. i've gotten quite used to tuning him out when necessary. this is the first time really where i'm actually seeing this xbox live thing in action and the seriousness of it all is coming clear. how ridiculous is it that you can now play video games with other nerds all around the world? and you can even talk to them! back in the days of mario and contra did anyone ever fathom this day would come? i certainly didn't. what can possibly be next for video games? virtual perhaps? or is that out already and i'm just behind?

bren keeps wanting to play hockey or halo while i talk on the headset so the person getting whooped will think he's getting beat by a girl. but i just wouldn't know what to say. i don't know any video game lingo.

i must say i am in awe. just a couple weeks ago i was playing tennis on his gameboy advance sp and marvelling at how tiny it was. and now this xbox live thing.

i can't wait to get my "opening the xbox" book in the mail. bill gates is a genius no doubt.

what is it like to grow up hating your face? i'm sitting here watching extreme makeover and i'm fascinated. i don't even know where to begin. everyone has things here and there they wish were different (unless you're a hot sexy mama like hugh jackman...my newest vavavavoom guy) but over time you learn to accept what you're born with and appreciate those things that make you unique. but what if you're just not good looking? am i being too harsh? everytime you look in the mirror the person looking back at you in no way whatsoever reflects the mental image of what you think you should look like. what to do? the answer apparently is to call extreme makeover and beg. and hope your face is sorry enough to be chosen. but this is no fashion emergency. you can basically request anything. want bigger boobs? done. want a smaller nose? done. want a facelift? done. heck why don't we just transplant gisele's face onto yours? sure why not.

what happened to the days when you just accepted what you were given? the before and after images of these people is unrecognizable. is cosmetic surgery the answer to our insecurities? are we so narcissistic that changing our outward appearance is a direct reflection of our self-worth and self-esteem? the answer to this is yes. we live in a time where what exists on the outside is more important than that of the inside. to strangers at first glance anyways. it's a well known reality that good looking people get special treatment whether it be at work or something small like a bigger scoop of ice-cream. it's no wonder then that we're so willing to go under the knife to achieve the coveted look of what society deems beautiful.

it's sad really but the reality is i can't wait to see what they look like at the end of the hour.

online dating. i asked sanford over the weekend if he would ever consider joining match.com or a similar service and his answer was an emphatic N-O! i would have to agree. over the weekend i was watching this mtv special on speed dating and i have to say, most of the people they interviewed seemed pretty normal. sure some of them seemed to be geeky and perhaps really did need a little help in the dating scene but overall, seemed ok to me. there's such a stigma surrounding online dating that even if i did participate, i would deny deny deny. no i am not a member...i swear!

i wonder, will there ever be a time when it gets so hard to meet new people or you feel like the people you're meeting aren't just cutting it that you'd resort to chatting and scouring profiles online to find the "one". one of my friend's roomate met his fiancee on match.com. only success story that i know of. one thing is for sure, the older you get the harder it becomes to meet interesting and cute people to date. ideally you'd like to meet them through your friends but over time, that avenue will be exhausted. ditto for clubs and bars. i don't care how nice you are, if you try to pick up a girl at a club, she's going to think you're slimy. at least i do.

one thing i noticed from the special is that everyone got along great on the phone and chatting online but when it came time to meeting in person, one of them always felt the other wasn't attractive enough. and everyone always lists personality as the number one wanted trait. please. call me shallow but physical attractiveness has got to be up there...if not number one on my list. i don't care how nice or charming or great a guy's personality is, if i'm not attracted to him physically, there's really no hope. now this isn't to say that i have the greatest taste all the time or that guys can't move up on my physical scale but for the most part, when i first meet someone i can usually tell right away if he could be a "potential" in the future.

in this day and age of the technology boom, online dating is one arena i don't really care to participate in. i'll take my dates the old fashioned way thank you very much. although they did show this one thing where you meet 25 guys or girls and you sit and talk to them for 5 minutes each and then you rate them yes or no. at the end of the night you turn in your sheet and if there's a match, the service will send off the email addresses for you to contact. i found this kind of intriguing. not so desperate and even if it doesn't work out romantically, it seems like a cool way to meet new people.

of course come back to me in 5 or 10 years when i'm older and maybe i won't be bashing on online dating. i'll be a proud participate in all dating services out there. ha.