so here i am sitting at home in san diego while everyone else is still sleeping at james's. victor and i rushed back this morning...him because he had personal stuff to take care of and me for lunch with college buddies. after waking up bleary eyed on little sleep and rushing home to get ready, i come to find my lunch was canceled. what to do what to do.

the past couple days were spent with the michigan people. at one point standing outside of le prive, a korean club in la, there were 8 michiganers and me. nuts. but that night was a lot of fun, not to mention just about everybody went. as soon as we picked up helen from the airport we were off to what is the nicest club i've ever been to. of course, rooms there are a minimum of $1,200 so they better be. i admit, drank a little more than i wanted to, but then again, who didn't? almost felt like throwing up but was stopped by james's admonishing tone "you better not throw up on my bed!" so i was safe. ate in monterey park (yum yum) and overall, a great night. no fights, puking or people getting sick. that was friday.

sat slept in at sagging monk's (just watched the warnerpalooza video recently, hence the name) where everyone was packed in like sardines. and this was before jon and michelle even got there. i got the bed amazingly, who knows why but i think james felt bad for me since i wasn't feeling well and then we were off to san diego. played some win lose or draw where i did pretty good i must say and then after hong came up with the brilliant idea of a bonfire. fun fun fun. anna made smores for everyone while i helped to eat it. and we saw the seals at la jolla cove too.

besides that, our times were mostly spent driving back and forth and just lounging (as what everyone calls it i've noticed). and oh, cranium and mafia last night too. i really don't see the appeal of mafia...maybe it's because i suck so badly. but i was psycho killer in the first game and won. not out of strategy mind you but more out of sheer luck. eric and anna are probably are at the airport right now but we still have new years eve with everyone else...although helen's leaving us today too.

but happy new year's everyone :)

i've been home for about 5 days now and i must say, i haven't done very much. i think the highlight was yesterday when victor invited me to go watch the lakers game (with jon as the third wheel of course) and we all got to sit in the box. it was my second time at a nba game and i'm really glad i went. the lakers were down 13 points when we got there and went on to win in the last quarter much to jon's disappointment. and this time, i could actually see the ball and the pretty dunks. pretty? can i use that word to describe basketball? anyways, i remember the first time i went to a nba game with my dad and some other people i can't remember. it was the lakers against the clippers and we were sitting in the nosebleed section and the players looked like little ants and it was so boring that we all fell asleep and left early.

besides that, i've mostly been sleeping late, waking up late, and eating way more than i really should. james, victor and adam have basically been over every night playing scrabble and win lose or draw. one night i went to bed, was woken up at 6am by james only to find that they were still drawing. nuts. and oh, i must mention the monopoly game where hong and i dominated the team of jon and babbs. it was a crowning moment for me before we went off to fumari's.

the michigan people finally arrived today after missing their flight...not sure how yet but i'll ask when i see them. hopefully i'll be able to go snowbarding soon...i need to practice my "s" turns.

i just went to use the restroom at work and the toilet seat was heated!!! what a nice surprise on a friday :)

since i'm bored here at work today i decided to take the career assessment test that jon took. i thought his results sounded pretty accurate so being the curious person i am, i wanted to see what it would say about me. lo and behold, i come to find that my number one vocation would be customer service: clerical, copying, and sending....what the hell? i'm good at being a copy girl? i've intelligently concluded that the test is bs...and i wasn't really paying attention to all the questions so my results must have been skewed. of course, seeing how it seems as if there are layoffs every couple weeks now, at least i know there's a job waiting for me at kinko's. copying anyone?

oh no! this is horrible. after making fun of jon's result on the art test i take it to only find out that i too am the same one. the horror! the horror! by the way, this does not mean i am a sheep...james forced me to take it.

If I were a work of art, I would be Edvard Münch's The Scream. I express the subconscious troubles and anxieties of the world. I hold my head and let loose the primal terror of my innermost fears, surrounded by a lurid landscape which reflects my feeble grasp on reality. Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

i helped chris move this past weekend. into an apt in hollywood. just a couple blocks from the chinese mann theatre and the kodak theatre. let me just say this first...moving sucks. i definitely recommend hiring someone. we loaded all his stuff once, unloaded it twice and unpacked all in one day and the next day my arm muscles were so sore. i could barely raise my arms over my head. but i was very helpful...even i surprised myself. i lifted all the heavy boxes and made many a trips up and down without complaining once.

i did notice though that hollywood itself is pretty dirty. and the people are weird. the first thing i noticed was all the stores with trashy lingerie and stripper boots for sale. one after the other it just keeps going. and the majority of the guys had funky glasses and dyed hair and tattoos everywhere. very intimidating i must say. i even saw an asian guy with a mohawk which threw me for a loop. but the clincher was when chris and i got into the elevator with a girl in a wig, high ass ponytail and knee high boots and only when she spoke did i realize that it was actually a he. quite a trip i tell you.

but his complex has lots of wannabe actors and actresses which equal good looking people. and i can attest to this myself. i didn't see so many hot guys but i saw a couple girls. and he lives close to sunset which should be fun for the clubbing scene every once in a while.

and oh. another important note. i bought a sega dreamcast. tetris and ddr here i come. and i finally finally watched harry potter. those that had read the book were disappointed so maybe my expectations were low or something but i ended up really liking it. so go watch if you can.

my first blog in a while. although it's only been a couple weeks i feel as if much more time has gone by. especially the trip to china. it certainly was a lot better than i thought but i still felt like i was there forever. and now, after a few days to recuperate in san diego, i am back at work up north. i figure it's better than sitting at home doing nothing.

this past week has passed by in a blur. i've become a sleeping machine. i never knew it would take me so long to get over my jet-lag. this past weekend i slept from 6am to 4pm and then monday back to work was disastrous. i couldn't wake up, walked around the office like a zombie and basically just sat in my cubicle staring at my screen. then tuesday i called in sick mainly because i couldn't wake up again and my tummy hurt. i do remember calling my hr mgr to tell him i wouldn't be in but i can't remember what i said to him. that's how tired i was. not good.

and every night when i go home, i just sleep. but then i wake up at 8pm and can't fall asleep till late. what a vicious cycle. so i finally decided to take some tylenol pm to help me sleep but it's not working. i need something stronger. maybe nyquil...but i am getting a little better. at least i try to convince myself that i am.

the cpa exam is tomorrow. surprisingly, i'm actually pretty nervous about it. maybe it's because i actually studied this time and if i don't pass, i'll be pretty upset. of course i can always take it again but just the thought of doing more questions (i can't even tell you how many questions i've done. well over a couple thousand i know that) makes me nauseated. or what if i haven't studied enough? i certainly didn't study as much as i would have liked but i started to burn out towards the end. finally just had to go clubbing this past saturday to get studying off my mind. i will be pretty happy when it's over though. so wish me luck everyone! but don't cross your fingers too much, i heard that's bad luck too.

there's this radio station here where every morning they make crank calls to random people just for the fun of it. i'm not sure why but it really bothers me. i find it so disrespectful. in fact, i get so upset sometimes that i'm tempted to email and tell them exactly what i think. but i haven't come up with anything good to write yet. hence no email. at the same time, i love listening to howard stern who many people find offensive. in fact, i sat in my car when i got to work for an extra 15 minutes just so i can finish listening to him talk about his weekend with his gf, john stamos, and rebecca romijn-stamos. my favorite is when he interviews famous people but a close second is when the playmates come on and play trivia games.

i just remember this one episode a couple years back where he had two playmates on. he asked what the center of the universe was, who was the president at that time, and some other random question. of course none of them knew the answers but when howard started asking about different types of champagne, the different models of porsches and designer clothing, they knew them all! i just sat there in my pj's shaking my head in disbelief. it really is funny though. try watching it sometime.

i went to aerobics class last night and i must say, i was very impressed with some of the people. there was this one girl that was 7 months pregnant and she still comes to the gym faithfully 2-3 times a week. then there was another woman that was pretty hefty who did the entire step class on the floor. i just think anyone who puts in the effort of working out should be commended. it's a hard rhythmn to get yourself into. but i think i was most impressed with the girl next to me. she was skinny as hell, even skinnier than grace which i didn't think was possible, but she was fit and toned like crazy. she had a 6-pack, actual arm muscles that were defined, and was hopping over her step like no tomorrow. so i've pretty much decided that being fit and toned is much better than being skinny skinny. and don't ask me why i paid so much attention. i think i was just in awe that such a tiny little girl could be so strong.

joe told me about this website that posts demands artists make in their dressing rooms when performing. why is it that when someone becomes famous they suddenly become self-absorbed and narcissistic? it raises the meaning of diva to a whole new level. i mean, on top of the millions they're being paid to perform, expecting evian water at room temperature? cristal? champagne glasses? asking the crew to provide boxer shorts and socks? no wait. white cotton crew socks and cotton boxer shorts. i don't care who you are. nobody should be catered to like this. pretty sickening if you ask me.

i've been told that i'm unable to make life decisions. which is very true. i put all important choices on hold since i know that inevitably i'll change my mind later anyways. i'm very fickle. and i hate to commit to things because i like to have the option of having an "out". so far this hasn't really been a problem but i find that as i get older it almost becomes a necessity for me to decide where i want my life to go knowing that these decisions will impact me forever. call me melodramatic maybe. i think my problem is that i have a set timeline in my head of when certain events should happen. and when something comes along to jolt that reality for me i start getting squeamish. i have my "comfort zone" and it's very hard for me to step outside of that but i think i need to at times. do something that isn't always conventional and what everyone expects from me. i'm usually seen, at least to my parents, as the reliable one and the one who has followed the path most asian parents expect. go to college, graduate and get a good job. they don't really expect me to do ruffle the feathers back home. but then the question is if i'd really be able to do it when the situations arises. i guess i'll just have to wait and see.

sidetrack: due to jon's rare free time, he found this code that allows you to add comments to each post. and james was so nice to add it for me in my favorite color. blue. i'm not sure what the purpose of it is since i thought that was what the guestbook was for but james persuaded me that it was a necessity. and from reading other people's blogs i noticed that it has now become a phenomenon. this is yet again why jon is the king of blogging...let's add another notch to his belt.

i think i've finally found one trait, if you can call it that, to having more guy friends than girls. they always expect me to hook them up with my girlfriends. "hook me up" they say. i just remember when i had a housewarming party a couple months back, the girls said yes right away. the guys, not all of them mind you but most i'd say, asked are there going to be any cute girls there? so of course comes my automatic response now. they're taken. but i wonder, does this mean that if i didn't have any cute gf's they wouldn't come to my housewarming? of course i'm exaggerating (at least i think i am since they did show up) but why are guys like that? i never ask them if they have any cute friends. so once and for all, sorry guys. i don't have that many girlfriends and most are taken anyways. but don't worry, if i meet anyone new i'll be sure to add your name to my growing list to introduce you to her.

it's always awkward when a guy asks for your number. assuming he is sober of course. on the one hand, i do have to give him props for even asking in the first place because if i was a guy, i probably wouldn't have the balls to ask and be single forever. on the other, i don't really want to. people tell me to just say no but that's so mean and i'd feel bad. then there's the other option to just say that i have a boyfriend but that's also weird. it automatically assumes that the guy is asking for your number because he's "interested" but what if he's not? i've been told i'm naive but still...i'd feel silly. i used to give out my email address thinking there's no way they'd actually email but lo and behold they do. but still, not responding i guess is a little better. at least i don't have to do it to their face. but i think the best way to handle it i've found is to just give them a fake number. they won't know the difference and everybody wins because i won't have to say no and he feels like he got a number for the night. very chicken of me i know but i just can't help it.

i watched the lion king this past weekend with chris in la. contrary to what everyone told me, neither of us really liked it. first off, it was way too long. 3 hours and even before intermission came i was ready for it to be over. the singing wasn't all that great. nor the acting. i think it's more of a musical for kids and i'm still trying to figure out why it won a tony for best musical. not to say that it was horrible, don't get me wrong, it was good but sort of a letdown since we bought our tickets so long ago and i've been waiting and waiting for the day to come. it's definitely my least favorite out of all the muscials that i've seen. the only good parts i thought was when the adult nala (the female cub) came on and sang. she was really good. and then the animals. the opening number was "circle of life" and i was really impressed with the giraffes and especially the elephant but it all went downhill from there. but i'm still glad i saw it just because there was so much hype surrounding it.

next up is "o" at the bellagio hopefully. tickets are awfully expensive though. $120! chris saw it about a month ago and said it was amazing so we'll have to see. but we usually have the same taste in this type of stuff so maybe it'll redeem the lion king for me.

i heard today that 90% of americans support the war against terrorism. however, i'm willing to bet that after a few months, that percentage is going to drop. it really angers me when i hear of anti-war protests taking place around the country. here are amercian soldiers, many of whom haven’t even seen their 21st bday, who are willing to fight and die for our country. all so that we don’t have to live our everyday lives in fear of the next terrorist attack and so that future generations can feel the same sense of security we all experienced before september 11th.

it’s still amazing to me that there’s a war going on right now and yet my life is still relatively normal. not to say that the attacks haven’t affected me in any way. in fact, i'd say just the opposite. i feel more unsafe and anxious now, just waiting to see when and where the next terrorist attack is going to take place. i hate this feeling of helplessness but there's not much else i can do except wait.

i hope everyone realizes the sacrifices those individuals in the military are making and show their support regardless of what their opinion is on whether we should or should not go to war.

why is that everytime i buy shoes it seems so comfortable at the store but once worn in public it hurts my feet like hell. what's going on? it must be a conspiracy. this is demonstrated by the six, yes six band-aids on my feet today. three on each foot. this can be verified by asking caro since she's sharing an office with me. not only do i have band-aids on the sore spots i encountered walking to the office but i also put one where i think there is a possibility for me to get a boo boo. preventive bandaging i call it. even with all this precaution, my shoes still kind of hurt. what a bummer.

i plunged my very first toilet yesterday. i finally finally figured out what the problem was. it's my michael graves plunger from target. bought because it matched perfectly with the blue rug in my bathroom but it's not very functional i've decided. the rubber is too darn soft so it turns inside out when you try to use it. no good at all. frustrated i borrowed my roomate's plunger, an ordinary black sturdy one, and it worked! what a sense of accomplishment i felt. so, the lesson learned from this experience? choose functionality over design. or you can be like me, just borrow someone else's ugly plunger.

on another note, i've been donating a can of campbell's chunky soup everyday. it's very easy. i think everyone should do it. it's not a lot but i figure every little bit helps.

enid and i were talking about weddings at lunch today since one of my friends (i've known her since sophomore year in high school) is getting married next month in san diego. now i'm not even close to one of those girls who has their entire wedding planned out and i definitely don't want to get married anytime soon but i can't help thinking how cool it would be if jon and i got married at the same time. enid agreed that it would be very cute. besides the twin thing, i think it makes sense economically too seeing how expensive weddings are these days. we basically have all the same friends except for my college and san jose ones (since jon never wants to hang out with us), i'm pretty sure i've met most of his close friends from michigan, all the aunts and uncles we've met when we were younger would have to be invited too of course, and guests would only have to fly out once. i'm not too sure jon would go for that though. still...it's cute no?

i just read jon's blog and it amazes me how he remembers all this stuff when we were younger. alison la placa? i actually do remember meeting her and i think i still have her autographed picture back home but i never would of thought she was the boss from friends. she looks really different from what i remember. and writing her a fan mail? how funny. i never would of thought jon would do a thing like that. i guess you do learn something new everyday. and oh, one more thing...i never knew jon was so anal about sanitation. my mom has done her job a little too well i'd say.

chris pointed out yesterday that it's a good thing i don't live by myself and after thinking about it for a bit, i have to agree. besides the boredom factor and that i'd probably never be home anyways, i'm not very handy with tools (who knew hammering nails would be so hard), don't know how to work a plunger (but i'm working on that), and i get scared too easily. but most importantly, i can't cook. my shelf at home is full of cereal, niblets, and canned soup. chicken noodle and chicken with rice being my favorite. the only item i have in the fridge is my milk for......my cereal of course. and oh, my potstickers from costco (yum yum). that's it. but don't worry, if you come visit i'll try to make you ma po tofu and egg flower soup out of a box. it's very easy from what i've seen. maybe there is hope after all.

my self-discipline these past few days on studying has been really good. even i surprised myself. i've been getting in some studying everyday and it may be my nerdiness coming out but i actually like doing questions. not that the material is all that interesting (come on now, i am an auditor) but i like learning about it. seeing how many i can get right and hoping that the info i've learned will stay in my brain for at least another month. of course it's only been about a week and i didn't realize just how much material there is to learn but still...it's a start. so thanks to all of you who constantly nagged me about studying, especially enid and chris. it seems like it's working.

as i am writing this blog i'm chit chatting with jimmy on aim. it really is a wonderful thing. he's currenly in brussels now after having been pulled out of lebanon. i always think how cool it would be to have a job like his, moving to a different country every three months but in reality i don't know if i'd be able to do it. i'm not sure how attractive living out of a suitcase and in hotels is for me. i like having a permanent residence and it's also too much alone time for me. i like to be constantly busy.

it's funny because i think i talk to him more now than when he lived in the states. although by the time he finally comes back we may all be in southern cali. james, victor, hong, nancy and grace are already there. jon for sure will be there by then. and hopefully i will too. i think by that time i'll definitely have my fill of san jose. wow. i hope jon's head doesn't explode with happiness.

it took me about 1 1/2 hrs to get to work today. and i only live 8 miles away. horrendous california traffic. enough said.

so i'm sitting at lunch today with caro, sanford and vu and the topic of strange things to eat came up. of course the usual that i've heard before: pig blood, monkey brains, snake sperm...all of which i proudly say i've never tried before and don't think i ever will. the one that took the cake though was bear claws. bear claws! who the hell eats those? and not just any old bears, sun bears (which are an endangered spieces by the way). apparently vu had one in vietnam among other things (pig brains being one of them). it cost $500 dollars for one claw and get this, they even have the bears in cages in the back for you to choose from. yuck.

caro brought up the fact that some people eat 3 day old mice. and i think it was vu that mentioned rats are cut open w/ their entrails taken out and stuffed with pork and then deep fried so all the hair falls out and it just looks like a dumpling. and sanford has heard of experiments being done where they cut off some nerve in mice so they won't feel pain and then just cut them open while they're alive to see the heart pumping and the blood rushing through their body.

and we call ourselves human? after this conversation i found myself questioning if the chicken in my rice was actually chicken. it's a wonder i didn't get sick. all very gross i'm sure but it bothered me so much i just had to blog about it. enjoy.

i must say i'm very impressed and touched by the patriotism going around these days. flags hanging above freeways and on cars, the song "god bless the usa" blaring from radios, the sudden insurgence of applications to the military. just at a time when one thought the word patriotism was lost in the vocabulary. sabrina came home last night from a pedicure with a flag painted on her toes. and jen had fireworks painted on hers. a flag is hanging outside our front door. next is a bedsheet painted red, white and blue to be hung outside kristi's window. but i think the story that tops them all is when someone got a tattoo of the flag on his arm with the word patriot written above it. now that's pride in your country wouldn't you say?

it's not even 5pm yet but i feel as if this day has just dragged on and on and on...and then on some more. i'm blogging so i obviously didn't make it to vegas. after my flight was canceled for the fourth time i took it as a sign. oh well. it would of been nice to stay at the venetian and go watch mystere at treasure island. maybe i should flee somewhere too. i wish.....

let's just say that i almost had a nervous breakdown when i couldn't get through to jon. my roomate came in and said, "i think you should call your brother. someone just bombed the world trade center." at that moment i had no idea what was going on and was just waking up. knowing how close he lived, horrible thoughts rushed through my head while i dialed like crazy. finally i called james to get hong's number and discovered that he was ok. although i didn't get to actually talk to him till a lot later and only for a little bit, it was good enough.

i think yesterday i was just in shock at what was happening and today the reality of it is settling in. even driving to work today the mood everywhere is depressing. the radio shows, news, people walking on the streets. i keep thinking that it's just a bad dream but one look at the tv throws me back into reality. i was talking to james yesterday about how weird it is that we were just there two weeks ago. and even have pictures of the wtc and just like that, it's now gone.

i'm even supposed to fly to vegas tonight. james told me about the flight numbers corresponding to the days which freaked me out so we'll see.....

23. gone and over with but it was definitely one of the best bdays i've ever had. it started out with dinner in our own room at korean bbq. in case you're curious as to the different tables. roomies (kristi, sabrina, jen, armen). pwc (joe, sanford, curtis, kim). san diego (binh, jean, yuan, lon, vu). pwc/hawaii (carolyn, jimmy, enid, sally, vicky, clayton). and then there was the whatevers table (me, hsin, daniel, e-ming, ryan, jacquelyn). everyone immediately started buying me drinks and the whole night i just kept going from table to table. i can't even recount how much i drank but i lost count after 10. all this before karaoke too. it's after this point that everything gets a little hazy.

enid and carolyn brought in my cake, turned off the lights, and everyone sang. but sad to say, i don't remember the cake coming out, nor the singing, or even cutting the first piece or blowing out the candles. i'm sure it's safe to say that my wish isn't coming true. i do remember someone saying "watch out. she's pretty dangerous with that knife." and i do vaguely remember calling jon (and no, i was not drunk and did not forget about calling you....i was waiting until midnite my time) and apparently i talked to victor for a bit too. but everyone took a lot of pictures so i'm sure that will refresh my memory some.

then it was off to karaoke. i only remember myself singing two songs. ricky martin's "livin' la vida loca" with my roomies and "a whole new world" with yuan (sorry jon). to sum it up....i threw up once in the bathroom and passed out on the floor (thanks for trying to lay out all those tissues daniel) and had to be carried out. from there my friends tell me that curtis, who so unselfishly sacrificed himself to get me drunk, and i were both passed out on carolyn's lap. the good friends that i have decided this would be the perfect kodak moment so everyone posed for pictures with me.

needless to say i had the biggest hangover the next day and i discovered a mysterious black and blue on my leg. but it was all worth it in the end. even hitting my head on the sidewalk and passing out yet again. but don't worry guys, i don't have a bump.

i've pretty much determined that i will be getting very drunk tonight. it seems that everyone's top priority is for me to get wasted. curtis is even going home with me after work so he can take me to the restaurant. all so i don't need to drive. i've even been told to pack an overnight bag and to take a lot of pictures for those who can't come. considering i often puke and black out once i've gone beyond my limit, my mantra for tonight will be to "regulate my alcohol consumption". i've been repeating this over and over to my friends this week but the only response i get is laughter. i'm not even a big drinker but i'm certainly getting the chance to work on my tolerance level between new york and tonight. after this my poor liver may need to take a break for a while.

it seems like everyone around me is starting to study for the cpa. i don't know why but i have no motivation at all. i haven't even cracked open the book or answered one question. i used to consider myself a pretty good student back in college but now, i struggle to concentrate for more than 30 minutes at a time. everyone tells me to get it out of the way since i'll have less and less time to study. all this i already know but it does nothing for my motivation. so what if i fail? i'll just take it next time is pretty much my thinking at this point. my friends have been pretty good about getting on my ass about studying but i'd just much rather sit around and do nothing at work. you'd be amazed at how good i've gotten at doing nothing these days. i guess i'm hoping that a stroke of brilliance will strike me and i'll magically remember everything i've learned in college. wishful thinking i'm sure.

i had dinner with jack last night at this place called zao noodle bar in palo alto and then had gelato for dessert. yum yum. even though we don't really talk all that much, i know inevitably that every few months one of us will call to check in with the other and get together for dinner. i'm always surprised at how well he's able to understand what i'm talking about and his ability to make me see things from another point of view. little things that i never would have thought of but once he explains it, it all suddenly seems to make more sense. it's good we have these little talks because it certainly helps me see situations from another point of view.

recently i've been trying to hang out with friends that i normally don't see. daniel tonight. lunch with josh next week. and then with helen in a couple weeks. it's amazing because even though i've been in san jose for a year now, i've never hung out with josh yet and only seen helen once. i'm trying to work on that but everyone's schedule is so hectic these days. the upside is that i like being busy.

two of my friends put their pics of new york up. james and victor. aren't scanners and digital cameras great?

another mini-vacation gone. this time i went down to san diego with three of my friends from san jose and then met up with hailin and chris there. gosh, i love that city. i find that the longer i'm in the professional world, the more i try to plan mini trips. i'm already trying to think of where i can go next before busy season starts again.

what is there to say? san diego is perfect. we basically did everything that we had planned on doing without too much fuss. zoo, la jolla cove (i tried to find the beach but didn't know where to go. and i've lived there since i was 6?), homecooked meal, saw james and victor (who only came to eat the sea bass i'm sure), dave & buster's with college friends, swimming, mah-jong, dim sum at emerald, and boba drinks at green teahouse. my mom even had a surprise bday cake for me while she played the piano.

the only downside? i got a speeding ticket on the day we were leaving. go figure.

advice: if you feel in a rut, go shopping. i must say, it was very therapeutic for me last night. i bought three purses in less than 30 minutes. but i have a justification for each so it's ok.

got my pictures back from my new york trip.
a couple observations:

1) i was pretty drunk at bar xvi
2) asians really do turn RED (esp. steve, hong, jon, victor). very noticeable
3) palak must be my pseudo buddy. she's in half my pics
4) who took all the pictures? i'm in almost every single one
5) the ever famous pic of me hugging jon from behind came out pretty good. he's actually smiling
6) jon and pz kind of look alike. you have to see the picture

i have been so out of it this week. as if everyone around me is going about their daily lives ie. school, work while i stand motionless watching them. detached from reality. when people talk to me, i zone out and can't remember what they said minutes later. at work, talking to my mgr i just nod and afterwards can barely remember what it is i'm supposed to do. i feel like each day is just passing by but there is no purpose. no goal. what am i working towards? cpa? not really. why is it that society values degrees, certifications, more abbreviations next to your name so much? i liked it so much better in college when i knew what my objective was. a very clear goal. to get good grades and find a good job. now that has been accomplished what's next?

i feel as if time is running out for me to decide what it is i want to do in life. but yet everyone tells me i'm still young. then why is that i feel the need to make decisions, life decisions now instead of just letting life take its course and see where i end up? someone once told me that college REALLY is the best years of your life and and it's only after graduation that we are able to realize it. i'm beginning to think that may be true.

the week in new york has officially come to an end. i must say, i was in a bit of depression last night when i came back to san jose. after a week of clubbing, karaoking, meeting awesome people, watching mafia ( i know, i suck), having late night conversations, playing ps2 like crazy, times square, swimming, soiree at amit's, getting a buddy and eating my peanuts...how can work even compare? i am so glad jon convinced me to come out and i'm going to have to make another effort to visit again. hopefully not in a year this time. although i think everyone should come out to cali. follow hong's lead!

trying to get home last night was craziness. first, i had trouble checking in my luggage so i was literally sprinting through the airport with just a couple minutes to spare before they closed the gate. after i'm all sweaty the pilot tells us that we won't be able to take off for another hour. one hour! of just sitting on the plane with no a/c. can it get any worse? apparently it can because i was surrounded, yes surrounded by babies. crabby ones. there was one in my row, next to me, and in front and behind of me. to top it all off, the one behind started crying and kicking the seat and threw up. so there i was, with a seat close to the bathroom, a baby who had thrown up and no a/c. it's a good thing i was so tired from my week that i passed out.

the good thing about clubbing with all of jon's friends is that their connection is dance. everyone dances. i guess their taste in music must have rubbed off on me because i was listening to hip hop last night and this morning on my way to work. anyone who knows me knows that i am all about techno. but i dug up some old cd's that jon had burnt for me and have a much better appreciation for them now. i guess from now on you can come looking for me in the hip-hop room.

and of course, a special thanks to hong (to make you feel special). am so glad you're coming back to sd although i'm hardly ever there but still....the first step in the master plan as amit and i were discussing.

all in all, i had an awesome week in new york. thanks everyone.

i actually woke up today with a slight headache. my first in a long time. ahhh, the wonders of advil.

i don't know why my time below isn't right but it's actually three hours later than it really says. anyways, here i am. just back from a night of clubbing at this one place called cheetah's. i guess my tolerance must have gone WAY down because i am tipsy as hell and i already ate a hot dog and a filet o fish. tonight was the first night in over two years (?) that i got to go out with jon, james and victor. so much fun. and to think that earlier in the night i was feeling too tired to dance. how can i ever be too tired to dance?

tomorrow is my last night here and i'm sure it'll be a while before i get to hang out with all the michigan people again and i always get this sad feeling when i think about it. i mean, i have known most of these people since freshman year in college and i've met so many new people on this trip too. i'm sure tomorrow will be tons of fun whatever we do.

it's now about 3:30pm contrary to what the clock might say below. i've been up all night with only 30 minutes of sleep. and i'm still not even tired. it's like once i get into this type of environment i'm able to stay awake forever but when i'm in san jose, nights like these are very rare. i feel as if i'm in college again.

i went into chinatown yesterday for some boba (cali is way better), killed some time walking around the city, saw little italy and parts of soho and then went karaoking for about two hours. there were about 15 of us and i haven't gone with such a large group in a really long time and i totally forgot how much fun it is. and of course, mafia afterwards till about 8am. nuts. who knew i had it in me to stay awake for so long. i'm like the energizer bunny....i just keep going and going and going.

i actually got to see times square yesterday. pretty dope. tons of lights and so many people. i definitely think new york would be a great place to visit but not to live. at least not for me. hopping on and off the subway at first was fun since it was my first time but after a while, it was just normal. and walking around town, i so noticed the expressionless faces and rudeness of new yorkers. oh well. i also had dessert at cafe lalo which was the cafe featured in you've got mail. so good but the place itself looked a lot smaller than the movie. i guess cameras can do that.

we were up playing this game called mafia last night tlil 5am. for those who don't know, it's basically a game based on how well you can lie and fool the other person. crazy. i suck at this game. i'm so easy to read and i get so nervous anytime i'm the mafia or cop that i prefer to just sit and watch. by doing that, you can tell a lot about the people you're playing with. i'm sure we'll be playing again soon and maybe i'll get better but i doubt it.

i have arrived. the lair of the master of blogging. aka jon. since i've arrived, we've only left the apartment once. to the mall across the street to grab lunch. i think we're all just perfectly content for the first couple days to relax and hang out with friends. it amazes me how many of jon's friends from michigan are in new york now. it's as if they travel in packs and all decided to move to new york together. my trip here so far has been almost exactly like when i visited jon in college. same friends just different location.

on another note, did you know that it is illegal to pump your own gas in new jersey? who knows why. but the good thing is that no tip is required. AND there is no sales tax. i've deemed it the mecca of shopping. i'm sure over time the amount would add up to a new pair of shoes.

countdown to new york. two more days. for some reason, i don't seem to be as excited as jon, victor or james. maybe it just hasn't hit me yet? i'm sure once i get there it'll all come to me. after all, it's probably going to be a lot like when i used to go visit jon in michigan. late nights, countless calories (but not this time), karaoking, clubbing and whatever activities jon dreams up of. of course this time james and victor will both be there which is nice since i haven't really hung out with them in a long time. i've pretty much determined that i have no say in where we go during the week. with the 20+ people that will be there, i'm sure my opinions won't matter too much. maybe i can pull the but i'm jon's twin thing? yeah, like that will work. we all know jon has no pull although i hear he's pretty good at organizing big outings now. i mean, it IS what he does right?

so what have i accomplished this week at work you ask? not much i'd say. i learned how to play minesweeper, mah-jong the 3 fan way and lost a lot of money on blackjack. it's nice to know that i'm contributing so much while sitting here twiddling my thumbs in my cube. now the movie office space makes so much more sense. at least i'll make up for it during busy season.

i guess i won't be attending my high school 5 year reunion. i'll be in new york at that time visiting jon. very fitting i think considering we both hated high school. although when i was talking to one of my classmates earlier i found myself very curious as to who was doing what, where they were living and who had changed the most. very superficial stuff.

at first when i heard about the reunion there was no way i was going to go but then after some thought and talking to chris, i decided that it would be nice if i went to see how everyone has changed or not changed. i guess after talking to chris i realized that even though high school wasn't a good experience for me, i would regret not going later on down the road. granted i'll be in ny but there's always the 10 year reunion coming up....

my first day back at work. it's always the hardest especially when i had such a good vacation. who knew i would have so much fun in kansas. i did everything that i thought i was going to do and more. i met chris's family and friends, ate more than i have in a very long time, and surprisingly am really interested in hunting. not myself per say but i really liked seeing the animals on the walls. never seen them before. my favorite is the muskrat. so so cute! too bad i forgot to take a picture but i do have one of me with a bobcat on my arm.

and of course, i tried water-skiing. i was only able to try it three times before my arms got too tired and sad to say, i wasn't able to stand. but i was oh so close. at least that's what chris told me to make me feel better. of course it doesn't help that he can slalom ski like crazy and was able to get on the wakeboard on his first try. but then again, i've never grown up around a lake. and unbelieveably, i was incredibly sore the next day and still am now. i didn't even get up! on another note, a report to all people, no fish nibbled on my legs. although an alligator was spotted in the lake a couple weeks before we went. no joke, the "crocodile hunter" was even there.

i'd have to say that i had the most fun when we were hanging out with his parents and when we went to go visit his brother's family. all the other events, wedding, going to the bars with his friends were fun but i'd much rather just sit around and talk or watch movies. i loved my trip to kansas. i betcha no one, including me, would of thought i'd say love and kansas in the same sentence. who knew.....

I’m off to Kansas tomorrow. The land of Toto. I’m actually pretty excited. Chris has planned out a lot of activities for us. Meeting his parents, eating PLENTY (seafood salad, rib-eye steak, chocolate pie, chocolate chewies and much much more I’m sure), going to a wedding, going out to the “plaza” with his friends, and water-skiing. My first time for everything. I must say that I think I’m more nervous about the water-skiing. What if I don’t have enough upper arm strength to hold on? What if the fish nibble on my legs? Or worse, I fall and my bathing suit comes off? All very dumb questions I’m sure but oh well. It’ll be fun regardless.

I found out today that one of my close friends (I’ve known her since I was 6) is engaged! It came as a total shock to me. I guess mainly because she’s the first out of my close circle and she’s only a year older than me. Of course, that doesn’t mean she’s getting married right away but just the thought of it makes me excited. There was a time when I couldn’t even imagine us being in college much less graduated, working and now engaged. Wow. What a great surprise.

i decided i'm going to start saving for two things. one, a vacation to fiji or somewhere exotic and two, a miniature bulldog. they are the cutest. except they're so expensive but well worth the money. they're exactly what i want in a dog. cute, short hair, and nice. plus, can't you just see me walking my bulldog? now i just need to come up with a name.

my friend emailed me this game "fobionair" today. a knock-off of who wants to be a millionaire with fob questions. the thing that i thought was so hilarious was that my boyfriend knew almost all the answers. he actually did better than me and enid (whom i consider to be one of my fobbiest friends just because she came over when she was in the teens). he knew all about red envelopes and the ever most important boba drinks. i guess i have done my job a little too well when my boyfriend from KANSAS knows more than me. and yes, he's white.

i went to go watch one of my cousins sing in a choir this past weekend. i find that the older i get, the more and more i enjoy going to family events. there was also this little boy singing that was so cute with chubby cheeks and well, chubby everything. if i have kids one day, i'd definitely want them to have chubby cheeks. that is just so cute. i mean, look at my baby pictures. i was a fat kid but hey, at least everyone liked to pinch my cheeks.

so i'm reading jon's blog and he mentioned the sheep that poops. they are so cute! i love them. i'm thinking about maybe buying one of each and giving them to people. maybe you'll be one of the lucky few. where can i purchase them at or do i have to get them online?? of course, if i get all three sets online, i get a free popping eye elephant!

jon, you have way too much time on your hands. you really need to get a job or a hobby or something. i sort of read your groove culture column hence the statement. want to know what i've been doing this entire week? reviewing over 2,000 lease agreements for work. yup. that's right. i have seen enough leases to last me a couple busy seasons and it's still going and going and going.......

i went to go watch rent last night with chris. i wasn't sure what to expect but it was way better than anything i thought. the singing was amazing and of course, i cried. now i just need to get the cd. beforehand, we went for dinner at morton's and although my entree wasn't as good as i thought it would be (i should just stick with rib-eye steaks from now on) the dessert was amazing. chocolate souffle. overall, a great night with chris.

guess what? i don't have to move! our owners are giving us a 6 month lease so i don't have to worry about moving again till january. dope is it not? on a sadder note, i'm still at work and i wanna go home.....(jon, remember the song from pinnochio?)

sat night, went to a club called ibiza hotel. an old hotel that was converted to a club. the set up was so dope. nothing like i imagined. anyone can rent out the rooms and the sliding door opens up onto the party on the lawn. think melrose place. so in addition to the main club, there are mini parties going on in every room or people just chilling. the room we hung out in had a big bed covered with rose petals and candles everywhere although never a good idea with drunk people around. to top it all off, there's even a pool and jacuzzi.

everyone agreed it was one of the best venues we've seen in the bay area. the only thing that would have made it more perfect was if the music was better. but hey, next time we can just rent a room and bring our our cd's.

on the rave reviews of jon, went to go watch the fast and the furious last night. maybe my expectations were too high (thanks jon) but still...overall it was pretty enjoyable. kept me awake at least. kind of reminded me of when i used to go to races in san diego. of course they weren't nearly as big or the cars as nice. but then again, it is a movie. and what is it w/ all movies making asians look dumb and cheesy? no wonder everyone thinks of us as dorks.

i found out over the weekend that i'm moving again. the owners want to move back in so we need to be out by july 31st. for someone who has never moved much before, i'm certainly getting good practice of packing and unpacking now.

i watched "life in the er" last night for the longest time. makes all the shit that people, myself included, complain about seem pretty meaningless and shallow. also makes me wonder about my job. here i am worried about financial statements when there are others who are actually saving lives. i say those are the ones that should be paid millions instead of stupid actors who can't even act half the time. needless to say, had a big impact on me.

another example of my fickleness....i had told everyone to take me off their links last week but i decided today that it's ok for them to add it back on. oh well. i never said i'd be able to change in one week. plus, i like getting entries in my guestbook :)

very fun weekend. boba party, mad shopping spree, clubbing, more clubbing, saw helen, made personal beer mugs......what more can a girl ask for? a couple things i learned or reaffirmed about myself:
1) one can never have too many clothes
2) same goes for shoes. can we say fetish?
3) lemon drop tastes like candy
4) tolerance is higher than i thought AND i don't turn red. pretty good for an asian i'd say...
5) and most surprising thing....apparently it's weird to dance with your brother? granted we haven't gone clubbing together since who knows but my friend and his cousin were dancing and my friends thought it was weird. of course i had to bring up that jon and i danced together before. not freaking mind you. dancing. i don't think it's so weird but than again, maybe it's the twin thing?

let me explain my blogging again. i'm no longer linked on anyone's page so i feel a little better. maybe i'm just playing mind games with myself but hey, whatever works. plus, the pictures on this page are just too cute to ignore. jon's quest lives on.

i'm having a boba party at my house tonight. homemade boba! or boba milk tea as i've been told by my chinese friends. apparently boba = BIG boobs. who knew. it's definitely not a boob party. my friend is going to make it so i can't really take any credit. but i do plan on making shish kabobs (spelling?) for dinner. it's easy and i figure, how can i mess that up? of course i have to remind myself of when i forgot to add water to the rice cooker. tiny little detail. my first official dinner party sort of. maybe i am becoming an adult.

i decided today that i dislike this public blog idea. at first, i thought it was great because it was going to be "private" and a new venue for people to know what i've been doing......but the more and more i think about it, i don't feel comfortable posting my thoughts and ideas for anyone to read. especially since i can't tell who my readers are. what's the point of having a blog page if i censor everything i write? sorry jon. one convert gone. that's not to say i won't blog anymore. just not as often. but then again, i am fickle remember? to others, blog on.

so i get a message last night from my parents that someone from high school was trying to get in contact with me. how very strange. first off, i hated my high school and second, i don't even think i was all that great friends with her. but my curiosity is peaked and i do appreciate her trying to keep in touch so i'm going to try calling soon.

so my blog site is now public. the ultimate confirmation by the link on jon's page. so much for only trying to let my two "brothers" read it although jon says it's not his fault. i guess we know who the better brother is now don't we?

i really wish i'm able to have the type of personality where i don't care what other people think. the this is me whether you like it or not attitude. maybe it'll come with time? i hope so. and i realized that part of the reason why i moved to san jose was to figure out who i am or what i want to do but i don't think i'm even one bit closer. i'm still very easily influenced by other people which really bothers me and is something i want to work on. to not be so fickle and make my own decisions.

so i had dinner w/ my two closest friends in the bay area last night. the two of them had just gotten back from a 3 week vacation. a one week cruise to the bahamas of all places. a trip that i had been invited to but declined to go since i've been before. i've been looking forward all weekend to seeing them and gettin a chance to "catch-up." it's funny, i realized how grateful i am to have met them when i first moved to san jose. besides my trips down to la, we make plans together every weekend and one of the things i've realized about myself since moving up here is that i hate being alone.

i always feel the need to be doing something or if i'm home alone, at least know that someone is coming over or that i'm going somewhere. i know people who are able to be by themselves for hours, even days on time but to me, i'd hate it.

i had the weirdest and most disturbing dream last nite. dreamed that my mom was getting married to another person. at my old chinese school gym of all places. i don't actually remember the image of my mom getting married but the image of van was everywhere. i kept running around trying to catch up with him to seek advice on how to handle my new family "situation". then on the drive home with my new "step-dad" i was so angry at my mom and the feeling was so strong that i woke up very disturbed. how's that for an early morning blog?

what happened to the good old days of video games? i loved the games i used to play on my chinese nintendo. games like horse racing, bubble bobble, and battle city. these days the games are so complicated that i lose interest before i even begin playing. i like games where you have unlimited ammunition and as many continues as i need. call me a girl but hey, at least i play video games. you can thank my twin for that.

i watched kalifornia for the first time today. awesome movie. i have this fascination with serial killers. who knows why. i'm able to watch discover and msnbc all day learning about how the fbi uses current technology to catch murderers and solve crimes. in fact, it's one of my favorite things to do on weekends.at least it's free.

i've officially jumped on the bandwagon. my own blog page courtesy of jon. this idea of an online diary fascinates me. i find myself thinking of subjects to blog about throughout the day. of course as of this moment, i only have one reader but that's the way i'd like to keep it for now.

my very first blog!