a blast from the past is what today has been. while sitting online this morning i received a very out of the blue message from an ex boyfriend, one that i haven't spoken to in about three years and never thought i'd speak with ever again frankly. trippy. and not only that but i also found out that he has a three month old son, is getting married in the next coming months to an older woman who also has a three year old daughter from someone previous. i sure know how to choose them don't i. the thing is i was nuts for this guy as in head over heels and wound up getting dumped because he chose partying over me. looking back there was so much crap i put up with and he might be what society calls a "loser" and well even to this day friends that i hung out with back then still tell me he's a loser and was never going to go anywhere and i pretty much knew this but either i was too drugged up to notice or i just didn't care. it's probably the latter unfortunately. however it did make for a pretty fun summer.

but not only did i get back in touch with him today i also spoke with his two roomates from when he was living in the barracks. yes that's right he was in the marines and i pretty much lived there an entire summer although technically you're not allowed to have girls stay overnight so we would always have the curtains drawn and when someone knocked on the door i'd run to the bathroom just in case. the closest incident to me getting caught was when the fire alarms went off one night and as part of the procedure, everyone has to leave the barracks and line up outside while the officers came in to check each and every room. initially they were going to hide me in their closet but after some thought they decided to bring me outside and just have me wait until everything died out. so outside i went and as my ex brought me to some place to sit tight what happens. lo and behold as i'm waiting there other girls starts showing up and then another and pretty soon there were five or six of us idiots standing outside in the cold waiting for our man.

i pretty much identify each one of my bf's with a certain time period in my life. i have one for during the young and naive stage or my just get out of college stage and with this one i define it as my hardcore partying stage. it all seems to be a blur and for good reason but i remember we would drive up to la every weekend and party two or three nights a week. looking back it was pretty ridiculous but i loved it and don't regret any of it. the most insane thing we did was probably go to a rave friday night till till 6 or 7am, then head over to magic mountain for the entire day and then to grace's apartment to rest for a couple of hours and then went back out again. or maybe it was grace's and then magic mountain. who can remember.

in either case i was pretty much frazzled for a good hour or so as i was chatting with him about what he's been doing and then i chatted with his two roomates online and on the phone and well it was just weird. it was nice talking to them but it's amazing that even after four years i can be transported back in time so easily. apparently all of his friends think he's stupid for not marrying me but well i guess that's not such a compliment considering he's never gone to college and was kicked out of the military. sad thing is i was the one who got dumped and not vice versa. clap clap for me now won't you?

it's not even dinner time yet and i've already done my good deed for the day. today i volunteered. as in woke up at 8am and went to oakland to help an organization similar to habitat for humanity clean up and paint a boys and girls club. now before you start thinking what a great heart i have i actually went because jon g was going. he had gone last weekend but i dutifully bowed out but this week i decided i should go. i've never done any type of volunteer work except for soup kitchens back in college and have always wanted to do something similar to habitat.

and so we went and it was actually a lot of fun. for five hours i taped up windows and painted. and then painted some more. i must say painting seems so much more fun on trading spaces than in real life. i was assigned to paint the exterior and at first starting out i was quite slow as i was very meticulous in my work but when i realized that everything and i mean everything was being painted orange it no longer mattered if i accidentally painted over the line a little. it felt a little like i was back in high school especially when we received our paper bag lunches and was sitting in the parking lot munching away.

this also marked my first time in the heart of oakland which is known to be quite ghetto. i've always been told or heard stories on the news but today i got to see it firsthand and it wasn't as bad as i thought. i swear every car that drove by us had to have their music turned up to the max degree but the funniest thing i saw all day was this guy in baby blue and white warmups pedaling his bicycle down the street with a cooler holding a boom box on the back and blasting his music wherever he went.

volunteering brought back memories of me wanting to be a social worker before i was convinced by my dad that it wouldn't be a good profession to enter into but if felt nice to be helping out for a couple hours although it was damn tiring.

it's been about two weeks of me living in the city now and so far so good. for all those who had to listen to me bitch and moan about my tiny room and small closet space has the right to smack me upside down in the head because i seriously was on crack the first time i viewed the apartment. my room is not that small nor is my closet nor is my bathroom. on move-in day all i heard over and over was your closet is NOT small and either is your room. i'm so glad i made the decision to move up because i'm pretty much loving my place right now. the only bitch i can complain about really so far is the commute down to san jose but i haven't had to make it very often and even then it wasn't too bad.

and ever since jon g suggested i walk in flip flops and tote around my heels with me i haven't been dreading walking to public transportation so much anymore. i even went online to purchase myself a very cute paul frank tote bag to lug around. one of the big differences for me from living in san jose is that i feel like i need to plan a lot more now that i live in the city. plan as in i have to map out how to get home and which bus to take and what stuff i can take out of my laptop bag so i don't show up to work sweating like a horse as i did the first time i walked to work.

i've even bought myself a nice little fold out map of the city so i can try to learn how the streets inter-connect and maybe eventually learn how to read a map but i think i'm slowly getting it. i learned how to get to safeway the other day without much help from jon g (sort of) so that was very exciting. i've even been taking the bus to work with a couple of little mishaps along the way or maybe big mishaps depending on how you look at it as i've missed my transfer bus each and every time but it wasn't such a big deal. by the time i found my transfer stop i was only two blocks away from work anyways and when you're wearing trusty flip flops two blocks is nothing. one thing i did learn though is that one must use force when pulling the cord to alert the bus driver to stop. apparently i didn't put enough oomph into mine and i just sat there as the bus rolled right through my stop. the butterflies in my stomache prevented me from saying anything. another thing that's a little difficult for me is i have no clue which way is north or what not so when my trip planner says to wait at the south west corner of this street it's really pretty much a shot in the dark for me. i almost feel like i should carry around a little compass but that's gay.

my goal is to be one of those people who know where everything is. or at least have some idea anyways. oh you want french food? follow me we make a left on this and that street. or even more ideal would be if i could tell you which bus you need to take. i don't really see that happening though since the muni map is the most confusing thing ever but for now, i've got my routes to work and back figured out and just like bob one must take baby steps. i've still got a little over one year to figure this city out so i'm not worried. for now though my top priority is to buy a damn couch and then we can start decorating.