Da Curious

ive always operated under the motto of work hard and play hard since college but these days my motto it feels like has changed to work less and play even harder. i don't know if it's because of the holidays coming up or im just plain not motivated but it's getting pretty bad. all i do during the weekdays is think about what im going to be doing over the weekend and these days i start my mental countdown of how many hours i have left by 10am.

it used to be that i would work till at least 8pm every night without even batting an eyelash. nowadays once it starts creeping towards 6pm i start itching to leave and i don't know what to do about it. i told myself that since im on vacation all of next week, im going to relax and hang out with the family but come january timeframe, i have got to get my act together because there is so much shit to do that the days will only get longer and i can't dick around all day like i currently am. these days, i check my email every couple minutes, am so up to date on people's blogs that it's ridiculous. even people that i don't know just because it's something to read, and im constantly on my various gossip sites just hoping for a new story to pop up because im so bored but all of this has got to stop. it's got to.

ive never known what it was like to have a job where you work 40 hours a week and that's it. you're out by 6pm every single night without fail hence an anomaly here and there but it's certainly not the norm. i used to think i wouldn't like it because id get bored and wouldn't feel challenged but having left public accounting and still working some late hours (but still much better) i realize who the hell was i kidding? id love to get out by 6pm every night and then you still have hours left to do whatever the hell you wanted. but instead, i am here still in the same position of not making any plans on weeknights because im never positive if i can get out on time and have been known to cancel so much at the last minute that ive taken the attitude that it's just much easier not to plan anything in the first place. or im still plagued with guilt when i tell my boss i need to leave "early" with early meaning 6:30pm.

what to do what to do. nothing really...but i have been feeling pretty guilty about slacking off at work but i figure if im getting my shit done is it really that bad? i already don't chat online anymore, something i gave up when i started this job and instead ive just compensated for it by browsing the web all the time. oh well only three more days left of work in 2005 before im on vacation and 2006 here we come. back to the hard working corporate girl i used to be.