Not Too Shabby

my twin sent me a link the other day to "30 skills every woman should have before turning 30" and seeing how ive been touting how great i think my 30's will be, i thought it might be a good idea to see just how many of these skills i had learned in my twenties. it turns out i didnt do too shabby. im batting a B average which was a quite a shock to me (a good one though) as i was expecting to score much lower but the list wasnt exactly rocket science either.

out of the list below, there were five "skills" that i dont know how to do. ill let you figure out which ones but i do have to admit #26 almost got me but if you read carefully, as long as you know who to call its ok and i most certainly do. i might even have a couple of backups just in case...i wonder if that earns me any bonus points? after all, isnt it all about who you know and not what you know these days?

as for #11, does mac n' chili count? i hope so because i counted it. it only says five ingredients and theres the macaroni, cheese, butter, milk and chili. five items. and it is most delicious and would make a great dinner no doubt. bada bing badaboom. see how easy this is?

come to think of it, i really should of gotten an A on this so maybe i did fail miserably my last decade. i better go see if theres a similar list for turning forty so i can get started on that right away.

1. Hard boil an egg
2. Diplomatically tell Mom to butt-out
3. Ace a job interview
4. Ask a man out
5. Send a thoughtful thank you note
6. Listen to a friend in need
7. Ask for help
8. Effectively end an unhealthy relationship (romantic or platonic in nature)
9. Beautifully wrap a gift
10. Say “no” gracefully
11. Whip up a great dinner with the five items in her fridge
12. Forget pleasing him, by 30 a woman should be able to tell her man exactly how to please her
13. Sew a button
14. Mix a kick-ass cocktail
15. Take off her bra without removing her shirt
16. Apply lip gloss in the dark
17. Balance her checkbook
18. Create a budget
19. Find the best deal
20. Negotiate a salary and/or pay raise
21. Read a map
22. Hail a cab
23. Say something in French just for the hell of it
24. Apologize when she’s wrong
25. Dress for her body type
26. Change a flat (or know whom to call to come change it)
27. Spot a fake (handbag, diamond, potential friend…)
28. Feign interest
29. Know what to tip on a $25 dinner bill
30. Hold a baby (Hey, someone you know is bound to have one sooner or later)

Runner's High

i feel as if there is this running phenomenon going on around me and im not quite sure when all this happened or why im just noticing it for the first time now but it has inspired me to try to start up again. and by again i mean that very loosely. for a while there, i would try to run outdoors once a week and surprisingly i really liked it but for some reason or other i stopped.

but then i went to a charity bartending event last night for a friend who is training for the hawaii marathon in december and as i was talking to some of my friends there, it turned out that all of them were running in the nike half-marathon on sunday. and i didnt know this but there is actually a lottery system to see if you get selected to participate in the actual race or not. a lottery system? you mean there are people who get turned away from willingly wanting to run 13.1 miles? what is going on? they were all trying to tell me to just run it and for a minute there i entertained the thought but then came to my senses and realized ive never run 13 miles in my life not even half that but it did get me thinking, maybe with some training one of these days i could do it?

one of my roomates used to run in marathons all the time. he would even fly all over the place for them in fact and once even did this relay race at the grand canyon (i think) where the team drives along in vans and you run long into the night. it was a bit crazy and i never really understood what would make someone want to do that. then a friend's sister trained for the hawaii marathon a couple years ago and i was floored because she was never the active type from what i remember. then i have another friend who does a couple marathons/triathlons a year and just signed up for the ironman next year and told me about this book called the ultramarathon man so i bought it and read it and understood a little bit more on why someone might want to put themselves through that type of pain and that it was all a mental game.

my first glimpse of this running world was late last year when i signed up for the susan g komen 5k and ended up loving it. then i signed up for the pat tillman 4.2 mile race earlier this year and was hoping to do the susan g komen one again but ended up getting sick and had to pull out the morning of. but all these people around me running have really got me inspired so i think its time to get some new running shoes (at the same store where the ultramarathon man buys his!) and try to pick it up again.

Beauty Sleep

for the first time since i graduated from college, i have a boss that actually cares about what time i get into work in the mornings. i have always operated under the motto of who cares what time you get in as long as you get your work done and that mantra worked quite well in my first job in public accounting as that was pretty much the operative that everyone worked under. sure there were times when i was just starting out that my senior would want me to get in earlier but that usually only lasted a couple weeks before i rotated off to another client so it never affected me too much. and if you were late, nobody really said anything because how could they when you were already pulling in twelve plus hour days?

but now it has all changed and i have a boss, or the principal as we like to call him, that not only just cares about being punctual and setting a good example for the department but one that also mentally keeps track of when you get in each day. were also pretty sure that he makes the rounds each morning to see who is in and out which is quite unfortunate for me as my office is right next to his but despite all this, he is growing on me and i actually dont mind reporting to him as i thought i would initially.

before this, i was rolling into work around 9:30am everyday which isnt too bad in my book but now im expected to be in by 8:45am which realistically is not that much of a difference but that one extra hour of sleep is crucial. my body is just not used to getting up any earlier. when he first told us of this, i still kept coming in late everyday mainly because i had visitors and would stay up till the wee hours of the morning but just last week, he brought it up to me again so now ive been making an extra effort to get in on time.

surprisingly, i havent gotten in trouble or anything in fact we joke about it all the time. i even told him that i needed a couple extra days to get used to the new time schedule and he just laughed and encouraged me with "you can do it!" i am much more cognizant of my bedtime hours now though and have set up two alarms to make sure i get up on time. so far so good but lets see how long this lasts. corporate life is a bitch no?

Where's My Apple Juice?

i got sick over the weekend and usually when im sick i like to mope around the house and whine a bit and basically act like a big baby and have someone take care of me. the past couple times ive been sick i have been lucky enough to have someone around to bring me medicine and soup and just those two acts alone made me feel loved and lifted my spirits. its nice to know someone is around when you feel like your on your deathbed you know? back in april i believe, i was sick again and both jon and james just happened to be visiting and came home one night with a big bag of medicine full of tylenol, nyquil, theraflu and boy did my little self feel special.

but this past weekend, no one was visiting and i was stuck at home alone miserable and too tired to get any decent food to eat so i ended up eating two oranges and oatmeal with raisin (leftovers from when leslie was here). yes my refrigerator really is that bare. i did mean to order some takeout chinese but passed out on the couch and by the time i woke up everything was closed. herein lies the downfall of living on your own. im going a bit over two years now of having my own apartment and for the most part i love it but when im sick, my oh my do i wish i had a roomate. but instead here i was, stuck at home loopting my patheticness for my friends to see only to have some of them laugh at my picture!

thankfully i feel much better now after having being put on antibiotics from the doctor and im well on my way to recovery. i did go see a throat specialist today to figure out why in the hell i get sick so much and always with the same symptoms but that chapter will have to wait as i have another appointment in two weeks. but what i did learn today is that i have small veins. funny because ive had my blood drawn plenty of times without any problems but today, as soon as i sat down i felt nervous as i wasnt quite confident the guy knew what he was doing and i was correct in my presumption. imagine sitting there, rubber band tied around your arm and looking down and seeing a needle with a test tube attached poking into you with no blood coming out. and there we sat for a good one or two minutes it felt like while he kept poking around and i made little whimpering noises. finally he called for someone else to come in and using my other arm, she was able to fill up two test tubes quite quickly. last time i went in there, they gave me an apple juice at the end and i was expecting the same but this time, even after walking out with a bandage on each arm, nothing.

some things in life just arent fair.

Love At First Sight

i recently purchased my first iphone (3G no less) and now that i have experienced the wonders of it firsthand, i have no idea how i survived this long without one. most of my close guy friends bought their iphone when it first came out and seeing how they have always been up to date on the latest in gadgets im used to just automatically tuning them out whenever "tech speak" enter the conversation. but when i learned that the newest iphone would have gps i knew immediately that i must own one of these. next came months of waiting for my verizon contract to end and as soon as it did on 9/10, you can bet i was at the apple store the very next day to get one. and to my luck, my twin happened to be in town visiting as for something of this importance, i dared not go it alone. besides who else was going to help me pick out the perfect case for my iphone? not jon thats for sure...it turned out to be louis! he swooped in and saved the day. ha

but in all seriousness, this iphone is amazing. and mine is looking very sleek and pretty with my white case that once you see it, you will want to run out and buy one. really, everyone should get one. you dont even know what your missing out on until you have owned one of these things. i feel quite invinsible with my trusty iphone in my purse. are you lost or want to know when the next muni bus is coming? done. feel like eating a burrito but have no idea where to go? done. want to look up the difference between a midget and a dwarf? done. everything is at the reach of my fingertips.

never before have i been part of the cool tech club but now im included on email threads with the "boys" and while most of it is me asking questions, this will surely elevate our friendships to another level. i can sense it already. my twin was even nice enough to set up everything for me while i slept including downloading all the apps i could possibly want and color coordinating them no less. he even introduced me to this new app called loopt which i have been addicted to ever since.

it basically allows you to "see" where your friends are at all times. sound scary? well of course it is but as long as you only have your close friends on there and dont be stupid enough to add any work folks or gasp your significant other (for who knows what type of trouble you could get into ha) this could be the next best thing ever. loopt shows you on a map where your friends are located and allows them to update and post different pictures of what they are doing throughout the day. a mobile moblog if you will. im probably not describing it properly but trust me on this, you too will be addicted to no end. i find myself updating it all the time (havent you always wanted to know that i saw a deer take a shit?) and just the other day, i was able to tell that ameer was only a couple blocks away and quickly sent a text to see if he wanted to meet up. see the power of this thing for happy hours and get togethers?

it hasnt even been a week of me owning this thing and already im on cloud nine and in love. i still have so many more apps to play with and as soon as victor fixes the bubble on my film screen it will be the perfect iphone and everyone else can look on green with envy.

Thirty and Hot!

i celebrated turning the big 3-0 last night and even though i had been dreading it for some time, the night turned out to be much more fun than i could have ever imagined. it was pretty much the perfect birthday celebration for me being surrounded not only with my close friends here but also the fact that i was able to spend part of the night with jon and james made it that much better. it was the perfect way to end the crazy and hectic week that ive been having since labor day weekend.

its so cliche but all the things you hear about why 30 is the new 20 is true and i say this as a newly minted 30 year old for the past forty minutes or so. this past year has been one of the toughest and held some of the most lows ive experienced in quite a while but at the same time, it has also been one of self-growth and learning that i am a lot stronger than i thought and that at the end of the day, i actually really like myself. sounds so stupid i know but there was a brief period where i felt really lost and unsure of who i was and it took me months to finally get to the point now where i am feeling comfortable in my own skin, self-confident and just happy with life in general. this is where the cliche part comes in.

through all of this, the part that i am the most grateful for is that ive been able to forge deeper and stronger friendships with old friends which have proven to be invaluable to me and provided the support system that i needed. one in particular who without him, im not quite sure i could be at the same place that i am at now and for that i will always be grateful. ive also made new friends that have only added to making my time here in sf that much more fun and the past couple of months has been filled with trips, activities and new experiences that has contributed to me going into my 30's more confident, more content and most importantly, more in tune with myself than i ever have been and am grateful to everything in the past year in getting me to where i am today.

im excited to see whats ahead for my 30's and the past week has been the perfect way to end my 20's with a bang and thats all a girl (or woman now i suppose) could ask for.

Fallin'

i have been in love with this song ever since i first heard it but it took me a while to figure out what it was but now that i have, for the past two days i have come home, pulled up the lyrics and sang my little heart out before going to bed. and now i have my officemate at work addicted to it too so we play it on repeat and somehow it just makes the week that much less stressful.

listen to it. love it.

Fall For You - by Secondhand Serenade
The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

Super Seventeen

game 6 celtics vs lakers. the 17th championship on june 17th no less and it has to rank up there as one of the best nights of my life. for the past couple weeks ive been obsessed with the playoffs and the celtics as ive never been before. i was like a giddy little schoolgirl yesterday and had butterflies and knots in my stomache and a nervous feeling all day and promptly at 5:30pm i shut down my computer and was off to an irish bar to watch. with a stranger who i met for the first time no less which is my biggest regret of the night. yes thats right, a stranger because out of obligation i went out on a date with a friend of a friend and while i badly wanted to cancel, i just couldnt bring myself to do it especially after weeks of trying to find a date that worked but in retrospect i should of just said to hell with feeling bad, i should of just done what i wanted. lesson learned i suppose. i need to be more of a bitch but what a hell of a time to be learning it.

but it couldnt take away from the joy and excitement i was experiencing as each quarter went by and the celtics were still leading but i didnt dare get my hopes up too high until it was in the bag. i so badly had wanted them to win on fathers day and had convinced myself that it was a sign and that it was going to happen that when it didnt, i was crushed and moped about it the entire night. one of my fondest memories when i was growing up was watching the celtics with my dad and twin during the larry bird era and rooting for them and from what i remember it was always a celtics vs lakers matchup and my dad's enthusiam for them rubbed off on me because while i cant say i even knew who the big three were until the playoffs, i just have the fondest memories of time spent watching them with my dad from my childhood.

and seeing them win last night i literally teared up and just thinking about it now i want to tear up again. i cant even do justice to what i was feeling but it was just this pure joy and all these memories that ive either buried away or have lain dormant for a while now came rushing back and at that moment, my only wish was that i was watching it in san diego where i properly belonged and i couldnt even savor or appreciate it the way i wanted to because i was out at a bar with a stranger out of obligation. stupid right? albeit my only saving grace was that i was pretty much texting throughout the entire time and i felt like i was there in spirit.

i know its kind of silly to feel this way about a basketball game but to me, last night meant so much to me and already in this year of self-discovery and personal growth, it only added that much more sweetness to the year i turn 30.

pat tillman. ive blogged about him before and if i knew where my archive posts went i would link to it here but ive always admired him for what he did and what he stood for so it would only be hypocritical of me to have never participated in pat's run after years of talking about him and telling people about him when the race is right here in san jose and just a hour drive away.

yesterday was the third annual 4.2 mile pat's run so i found myself getting up bright and early at 6am to make it there on time since i had missed the online registration deadline and having missed the past two years i was very excited to finally be a part of it. the whole event was inspiring as hell. starting from the singing of the star spangled banner to seeing marie tillman, pat's wife up on the tower watching everyone to the quotes and pictures of pat put up all throughout the route and seeing the little kids sitting out on their driveway waving american flags to the cars honking while driving by. it was all so energizing. if this doesnt make you proud to be participating, then i dont know what will.

if someone had told me a year ago that i would be signing up voluntarily for 4 mile runs when i could barely run a block or two back then without stopping i would of thought they were crazy. im still not the greatest now but i was so proud of myself when i finished. my official time was 48:53 which translated into 11:39 a mile which isnt all that fast i know but im a pretty slow runner to begin with. the fastest male finished in 20 min and the fastest women finished in 25 min to give you some perspective but hey rome wasnt built in a day. hopefully my time will only get better from here on.

this was definitely one of the highlights of my week, the other being my kickboxing class on wednesday when three of my favorite teachers of all time showed up to the same class and my head nearly exploded at my excitement. one of them was wearing these nike camouflage high-tops that i loved but it was pretty much the all star kickboxing class of 24 fitness if such a thing exists. but all in all a very good active week and cant wait to try bikram yoga coming up hopefully.

ive been a bit behind on my tv shows recently and i was thisclose to just deleting this episode in an attempt to catch up but boy am i glad i didnt. and its all because of this performance. i loved loved loved it. im such a sap i know his performance made me tear up a bit but i dont care. to think he is only 17 and the best part is he auditioned in san diego. wow. as an extra added bonus, one of the contestants sang killer queen and while the performance itself wasnt great any song by queen will make me happy.

i did it. after five long years i made the last payment on my car this month and the title documents are on its way in the mail. this is the first car ive been paying for on my own with a loan entirely in my own name. whether i should consider that an accomplishment in that i was able to pay it off before turning 30 or if i should consider it a failure that it took me this long to pay it off im still not quite sure yet.

i was one of those spoiled teens who received a car upon turning sixteen. a red ford contour that was shared with my twin and then after that and all throughout high school, we drove whatever car my dad happened to have on lease at the time. my favorite being our green pathfinder since it was nice to be a bit higher than everyone else on the roads although that was short lived when my twin managed to crash it into a tree. exactly. i still havent quite figured that one out either.

then for my high school graduation present, my dad purchased for me a white with gray interior honda accord. my dream car. it had two doors and as it was during my racing years, i got tinted windows, changed out my headlights to clear and was even going to go so far as to get it lowered along with a new exhaust and chip to make it faster but thankfully i came to my senses and decided to save my money for better things. like a monkey decal on the back window instead.

fast foward to six years later and due to some circumstances that lead me to have to give up the accord, i was left with three weeks to research, test drive and purchase myself a new car. while i found it daunting at first since i really had no idea what i wanted, at the end, i came away with a car that had all the options that i wanted except for maybe a gps system. it was four doors and yup you guessed it, white with light gray interior. even after five years, i still smile everytime i see my car right after a car wash or parked in the garage.

hopefully this car will last me for a couple more years so i can reap the benefits of not having to have to make car payments for a while and in the meantime, i can start saving for my bmw.

a sure sign that im getting old and turning thirty this year. i just spent the past hour cleaning my apartment. i swiffered, vacuumned and even *gasp* cleaned my bathroom. toilet, shower, sink the whole works. something that i usually rely on my housekeeper to do but for whatever reason, i couldnt get a hold of him this week so rather than risk my visitors thinking badly of me, i got out my scrubbing bubbles and windex and cleaned away. even if those visitors are only my twin and sagging monk.

i even turned down an invitation to a wine bar tonight just so i had time to clean. something that the old me would never have done. the old me wouldnt have given a second thought about tidying up the place or making sure all of the towels were clean or putting everything away in their proper place. or at least piling it neatly in a corner. and its only january. who knows what other revelations might be in store for me as i make my way towards the big 3-0.

for all i know i could be hosting a dinner party for ten next although i wouldnt be holding my breath for it.

ive been introduced to the world of yelp recently even though ive had an account since july 2006 but in this time, ive only written a whopping total of 7 reviews. i never really knew there was this entire yelp community out there complete with its own acronyms "rotd" (review of the day) which i couldnt figure out for the life of me and finally had to ask someone or that people could send you "compliments" or more importantly that there is such a thing as a yelp elite member. what is a yelp elite member you ask? i mean honestly when i first heard about it i couldnt figure out why anyone would want to be a yelp elite member since what benefits could there actually be until i found out that there were yelp elite parties. with free drinks and food. now that sounds like my kind of party so ive convinced my friend to take me to the next one and will have to report back. it cant be too bad right, a party with no cover, free drinks and filled with fellow food lovers.

when i first created my account last year, i remember sending out invites to my sf neighbors and some joined, others ignored me but no one was very consistent in writing any reviews and it kind of just fell to the wayside. little did i know that some "elite" members yelp about every single place that they visit right on down to the local coffee shop. me on the other hand, i usually dont get the urge to write anything unless i really love it or hate it which would explain my lack of reviews. i have enough trouble trying to update this blog on a consistent basis as it is but i do love it when my friends write reviews.

part of the fun of living in a city is that there are so many different options for everything. two of my favorite eating places were recommended to me by a friend that i probably would have never discovered on my own. another friend uses yelp to help keep track of where hes been which actually makes a lot of sense. i mean anytime we go out anywhere the questions asked are always, whats the dress code? is there cover? and whats the music like? one can usually find the answers to all these questions with one quick search on yelp and even better if one of your friends has already reviewed and tried it.

i find myself on yelp a lot more often these days reading different reviews and coming up with my list of places i want to try. maybe this will replace what friendster was to me before because "friendster is so old school" i was informed by a stranger this past weekend who then went on to exclaim disbelief that i didnt have a myspace or facebook account. is it really that odd? although he was impressed that i knew what twitter was. so thanks twin for keeping me up to date on these things. i wouldnt want to date myself with my friendster knowledge now.

my last week and a half were spent in sunny (or not so sunny i should say) san diego home for the holidays. its been a while since ive been back for that length of time but what made it that much more special was that it seemed everyone else was back for the entire time too. my mom obviously but then there was my twin who has now moved back home, sagging monk the one who actually still lives there, des and victor i pretty much saw almost everyday and put in a smattering of the nose, hong, lilly, even grace and aubrey, it turned out to be just what i was needing and looking forward to for ending 2007 with a bang.

its amazing how fast a whole week of doing nothing can go by. my first couple days back i was bored out of my mind and was itching to get back up to sf but after a couple days, i was right back to my old break schedule of going to sleep at 3 or 4am and not waking up until 11am or so. surprisingly, in looking back i felt as if i accomplished pretty much everything that i had wanted. ate burritos with horchata and carne asada fries, boba and yogurt world up the ying yang, dumpling inn and on the hanging out front, saw everyone and anyone including old family friends that i hadnt seen at least since college, grace and aubrey, caught up with college friends, my godsister, frank and jennifer made an appearance, its amazing how busy i felt even with no schedule. finally tried persian food at ameer's house and of course, guitar hero dominated most of my break as well. i started off as an easy player and by the end of the week, i am now a full fledged hard bass player although the jump from hard bass to hard guitar is just too much of a gap, its going to take me a while.

i capped off the end of the year and break with a 1989 theme prom party for new years eve at lilly's and in a rare occurrence, all of us got into the spirit and foraged the thrift/vintage shops of san diego in search of the best outfit. mine was quite charming i assure you and the party didnt disappoint with its own bartender to boot. theres nothing like dancing to songs from your past where each and every song is dance worthy and the countdown was spent among close friends and well thats all one can really ask for these days.

this is probably the longest time that my twin and i have spent together and we got along beautifully, or at least i think we did. while being dropped off at the airport, i was quite sad to have to head home but looking forward to it at the same time. but he will be coming along with james to stay with me for a couple weeks soon and as i have been telling everyone, it will either turn out to be a great load of fun or a big potential disaster. well see but if its anything like my xmas break, im all set and ready for it.

im slowly starting to get into the holiday season and the timing couldnt be better as im off to michigan tomorrow where its supposed to snow four to five inches tonight and tomorrow so i really might be enjoying a white holiday for myself. my office mate and i even bought christmas lights today to put up and i have to say, i did a pretty darn good job. but of course we purchased too short of a string so only her side of the office is lit up while my side is completely blank. figures. we even bought snow in a bottle and have grand plans to draw a little village on our door. knowing that both of our drawing skills are a bit lacking, we are accountants after all, i practiced my xmas tree and snowman on a piece of paper first and i think im ready.

while christmas is usually a favorite holiday for most people, ive never been that into buying presents or putting up xmas trees or anything of that sort but this year, im really starting to enjoy walking around the city with its twinkling blue lights on the trees or the parking meters made up like candy canes and im even participating in our office white elephant ornament party and stocking stuffer activities.

the only thing im dreading is the cold weather in michigan and the fact that my eczema will probably be acting up but ill have my tub of cetaphil cream with me to combat any dryness.

did anyone else watch the movies rock celebration that was on friday night? i dvr'd it and spent my sunday afternoon watching it while i really should of been studying but procrastinate i did and the show was great. they should just get rid of all of the awards shows and just do more of these. what could be better than some of your favorite classic songs from your childhood being sung by artists of today? my only complaint was that i wish there were more performances but ill take it.

my favorite had to have been carrie underwood's rendition of sound of music since that is one of my all time favorite movies...i just wish there could of been a bit of doe, a deer, a female deer in there but ill take whatever i can get. isnt it crazy to think that she came from american idol and jennifer hudson was also one of the performers and she wowed the crowd as well. with so many great singers out there, i feel a bit ashamed to have supported britney in buying her new cd a couple of weeks ago (the first cd ive purchased in who knows how long) but i couldnt deny the inner teen bop in me.

watching this really brought me back to my childhood and isnt it amazing how just hearing the first few notes of a song can bring you back to the day. this makes me want to bust out all the old movies and just have a marathon night. i remember when my twin and i memorized the lyrics to part of your world from little mermaid and even to this day it makes me nostalgic just to hear it.

now if they would of only performed a song from top gun that would of just have made it that much more perfect but maybe next time.

i have a new boyfriend. her name is christine and she is my kickboxing instructor at the gym. im dedicated to her as ive never been before. ive faithfully attended her class every single week and in the past couple of months, ive only missed one or two classes total. i leave work on time for her, turn down any and all happy hour or dinner invites and plan all events around her. i even *gasp* set my alarm on a sunday morning to get myself up and one of my favorite things to do is sleep in on a weekend. i even make sure i dont drink too much the night before so i can get up on time...thats how dedicated i am. but its worth it, i love taking her classes and its such a good workout. this is probably the most consistent ive ever been in my life in going to the gym.

just last week i managed to force myself to go up and talk to her after class, really i just wanted to figure out the name of a song she plays that i am in love with and since she didnt know it offhand, she offered to make me a copy of the cd. and then what happens, i show up to class yesterday and not only did she remember that she was supposed to make me the cd (it has to wait though, she ran out of blank cd's at home) but she also remembered my name! i was shocked...and sadly enough it made me really happy. and since the class was the day before thanksgiving, it wasnt nearly as crowded as it usually is and so she warned us in the beginning that she would be walking around the room watching us so i made sure to concentrate doubly hard on the moves and do all the squats and situps my little heart could muster which might explain why im having a bit of trouble walking today.

but she informed us that she would be gone for the entire month of december and then back in january only to be gone again for another month...news which disappointed me greatly. im just not sure if ill be willing to commit myself to someone else although a girl has to get her workout somehow but it just wont be the same. i did find out though that she is from san diego as thats where she was heading for the holidays so my next step is to figure out just what part of san diego that is.

and yes ladies and gentlemen this is what gets me my jollies these days. ha

i found out this week that one of my ex's got engaged which would bring the total to two in the past month. november is already shaping up to not be the greatest of months for me what with spending thanksgiving alone for the first time in a while to look forward to but more on that for another blog.

so yes two of my ex's are now engaged and while i cant say i was completely shocked when i heard it was still a bit disconcerting. one cant help but reflect on things when this type of news travels your way and seeing how i am less than a year away from hitting the big 3-0 any type of marriage news is bad news these days. on top of this i also discovered pretty recently that another ex of mine is now a wedding photographer, a husband and wife team who take pretty damn good pictures i have to admit and seeing his picture after ten plus years really threw me for a loop and brought back some unfond memories. lets just say that relationship was a big sore point in my family leading to constant arguments and me jumping (yes jumping there was no ladder involved) out a two story window, living with a different family for a summer and a mark on my record as a runaway. although my twin did benefit from the late curfew hours i got for us...whether he put them to use is another story in itself.

im pretty sure ill be invited to both weddings with one of them taking place in just a few short months in the bahamas of all places and while i toyed with the idea of going, if anything more to just get a free place to stay at a sandals resort, the fact that the wedding takes place on a weekday probably makes that impossible. but i do fully intend on attending the second one. it will be my first wedding of an ex ever and well, all i can say is to my twin and sagging monk, better start clearing your calendars next year for all these weddings that are popping up.

my world was turned just a little bit upside down today and has left me confused, disappointed and unsure of who and what i can believe anymore. my faith in the good of people has been shattered just a bit and all i can do is try to make sense of it in my head but even after a full forty eight hours of trying to comprehend and digest it all, i still cant reconcile what ive learned and what i thought to be true. i had an idea this was the path we were headed or at least a small inkling that this was coming but the way it happened, how blindsided i was and now i feel like a fool by trusting and believing so much that at the end of the day, i dont think i can ever look or see things the same way again. its sad that it came to this but it certainly showed the true colors of some that i truly truly had faith in and while i understand that work is work and that office politics is just part of the game, if this is how it works then i want no part of it. i have never felt so let down in this type of situation before and my head is still reeling from the events of the week. i guess this is the perfect culmination of my past two months where i have attended three weddings and a funeral...just one more wedding and i could of been andie macdowell.

pretty ironic as tomorrow is "the" sixth anniversary. the last time i blogged about this topic was in 2003 and i will admit that in the past two or three years, i havent given much thought to this date, a fact i feel pretty guilty about but this year, ive been fully aware of it and feel the need to go visit the next time i am back home. ill be the first to confess that i havent fully dealt with my feelings nor do i really want to and shamefully have never gone to visit since the first year. im not even quite positive i would remember exactly where to go...isnt that horrible of me as a daughter? sure ive attempted to several times, even gotten in the car and been on my way there but every single time ive turned around and gone straight home or made a detour to somewhere else conveniently. but this year, i will be visiting if anything just to clear my head of some thoughts and to feel that bond again and if all works out, ill be back with a wing reminder to take home with me too.

a friend of mine went to kenya this summer and returned with this video...it touched me so much that i actually made the effort to try to figure out how to post videos on my blog and this is it