Da Curious

my world was turned just a little bit upside down today and has left me confused, disappointed and unsure of who and what i can believe anymore. my faith in the good of people has been shattered just a bit and all i can do is try to make sense of it in my head but even after a full forty eight hours of trying to comprehend and digest it all, i still cant reconcile what ive learned and what i thought to be true. i had an idea this was the path we were headed or at least a small inkling that this was coming but the way it happened, how blindsided i was and now i feel like a fool by trusting and believing so much that at the end of the day, i dont think i can ever look or see things the same way again. its sad that it came to this but it certainly showed the true colors of some that i truly truly had faith in and while i understand that work is work and that office politics is just part of the game, if this is how it works then i want no part of it. i have never felt so let down in this type of situation before and my head is still reeling from the events of the week. i guess this is the perfect culmination of my past two months where i have attended three weddings and a funeral...just one more wedding and i could of been andie macdowell.

pretty ironic as tomorrow is "the" sixth anniversary. the last time i blogged about this topic was in 2003 and i will admit that in the past two or three years, i havent given much thought to this date, a fact i feel pretty guilty about but this year, ive been fully aware of it and feel the need to go visit the next time i am back home. ill be the first to confess that i havent fully dealt with my feelings nor do i really want to and shamefully have never gone to visit since the first year. im not even quite positive i would remember exactly where to go...isnt that horrible of me as a daughter? sure ive attempted to several times, even gotten in the car and been on my way there but every single time ive turned around and gone straight home or made a detour to somewhere else conveniently. but this year, i will be visiting if anything just to clear my head of some thoughts and to feel that bond again and if all works out, ill be back with a wing reminder to take home with me too.