Feeling The Loss

it's been not even a week since my co-worker has left on maternity leave and already i'm feeling the loss. probably even more acutely than if one of my close friends moved away from sf or something because in that circumstance, i can always call on other friends for distraction or busy myself with random tasks or errands but at work, there is no other substitute. there is one other co-worker that im fairly close with but not on the same level and for the past week, i found myself camped out in her office at least once a day just because i didn't know what to do with myself and because i desperately needed a break.

for the entire time that i've been at this company, we have always sat in cubes right next to each other and then a year ago, we moved into an office together and she really is a big part of why i don't mind work so much somedays. we text each other in the mornings to see where we are (we're both usually running late), we do lunch together, take our coffee breaks together and she pretty much knows everything about what is going on in my life even more so than my friends that i see regularly on the weekends and knows most of the names and faces of my close friends just from pictures. on top of that, we've gotten to the point where i can tell she is annoyed at something/someone at work just from her tone of voice and we can vent to each other without having to go into the background of who is who and does what and already we know what the other person is going to say.

this is only my second job out of college and in public accounting, since you jump from client to client all the time, there really wasn't time to get too attached to any one person and usually after you roll off the engagement, there was a good chance you would never see or hear from them again. but now, for the past 3+ years, i've gotten used to seeing her everyday and we have our daily ritual of getting coffee/water together in the kitchen in the mornings, then there's usually a brief period where we'll close the door and update each other on what we did over the weekend or the night before and then there's the always figuring out what time the other person is going to leave at the end of the day but now there's nothing. it's super quiet in my office and thank goodness i can listen to music otherwise i would probably go stir crazy.

in the time that we've known each other, i've seen her get engaged, attended her wedding, buy a house, remodel the house and now, her first baby is just a few weeks away. on the flip side, she's seen me through a long-term relationship and the associated break-up after, listened to all my insecurities and really helped me when i wasn't feeling all that great about myself. these next four months are going to be loooong and i don't even want to think about it.

close guy relationships are called bromances i learned recently. i wonder if there is a similar term for girls? womance maybe? although that doesn't really have the same ring to it.