it's been a rough week for me. i've been listening to mika's any other world pretty much on repeat this entire week and i still haven't gotten tired of it. i've been looking for his explanation of what the song means to him and i finally found a small snippet of him talking about it during an interview and it just made me love him even more. i was secretly hoping he would play this song during his concert but he didn't and it was probably for the best since i most likely would of broken down in tears over it. it's hard to put into words what i've been feeling but i guess the best way to put it is that i feel like i'm drowning. i've been an emotional mess lately with work and all of the pressure and stress so much so that i broke down in tears again this week making it the third time in as many weeks and almost lost it again when i heard my mom's voice in a voicemail she had left for me. more than once i seriously thought about just throwing in the towel and packing up all my shit and asking my mom if i could just move back home for a year or so. i was that desperate.couple that with my own internal pressure and guilt of the cpa exam and how it's become so much more to me than just a test. it's become a question of my willpower and if this is going to be something that i'm going to be able to follow through on or not. more than anything for a brief moment there all i wanted was to hear my dad tell me that everything is going to be ok and that i'm doing a good job. but there isn't anyone around to tell me that so i've been listening to mika all week long and for one reason or another, i find great comfort with it.
while this week was probably the worst i've experienced in quite a while in terms of the hopelessness i felt, i'm happy to report that it's turned around a bit in the last day or two. i'm not sure what it was or what happened but i woke up one morning feeling just a bit more optimistic and sure of myself and that instead of just laying down and giving up i can feel a renewed energy in me and dedication which i hope can carry me through going forward. i hope.
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4 comments:
great post and very therapeutic i imagine. u know you're stronger than u think george. way to embrace this time of despair as a means to empower yourself to push through.
u can do it!
i don't know about you but when i see dann lee in his blog picture i don't feel as good looking anymore.
Hang in there mister, this too shall pass.
CB
Hey ex-roomie! Not sure if you took your CPA test yet, but good luck if you didn't and hope you passed if you did. You were in my dreams last night, you were really bummed and Vi and I were comforting you. Not sure what it meant, but wanted to drop a line and say Hi either way. :)
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