Da Curious

ive been on a quest lately in trying to cook more and eat out less and this doesnt just mean heating up a lean cuisine for dinner either, this involves actual grocery shopping with purchasing of real vegetables and meat, not the frozen kind. shocking yes i know but ive been doing this for a couple weeks now, at least on weekdays anyways and im really starting to get discouraged. what ive found is that i lack that "chefs instinct" of knowing when something is done or whether it needs more sauce and regardless of what i do, all my dishes taste exactly the same. ive even followed a receipe or two and every single time, something has gone wrong and not once has anything turned out like i imagined. the first recipe was one i received for shoyu chicken which seemed really easy as there were no more than five ingredients total, all recognizable which is my number one criteria in choosing recipes (i dont even attempt to make anything if i dont know what everything is, which limits my options quite a lot as you can imagine) and the instructions were also five steps long. but even with faithfully following everything step by step, i still somehow managed to burn the soy sauce and the brown sugar had turned lumpy on me that it literally became a paste over the chicken that it was barely edible. my apartment smelled like burnt soy sauce for a good week or so but i forced myself to eat it as i had wasted close to half a bag of brown sugar on this thing.

then there was the other time when i was making oven roasted vegetables which sounds pretty easy right? cut up some veggies, drizzle olive oil and pop it into the oven it says. yes i have a recipe book for this too...just to give you an idea of just how little i know. but instead of modifying the ingredients for the amount of veggies that i had, i put in exactly what it said and ended up eating salt for dinner. im telling you, all of this is really starting to make me think that ill never be able to cook and should maybe just stop trying. in the time ive taken on this new mission, ive eaten chicken which started bleeding when i tried cutting into the middle, eaten salmon that was still raw on the inside and i think my worst was when i didnt even boil my frozen edamame completely through. it said boil for three minutes on the package which is exactly what i did, i even timed myself with the microwave clock. it really is depressing.

but all is not lost however as i have learned a couple of things in this experience. i now know the difference between a cucumber and a zucchini, i feel like grocery stores should just put them right next to each other to clearly distinguish between the two, im sure lots of other people have made this mistake before. i also bought asparagus for the first time in my life and my next steps are to learn how to cook green and yellow peppers just because ive always wanted to buy some if only to just add a splash of color to my shopping cart. i sort of know how to cut cauliflower and broccoli now although the first time i tried it i literally cut my finger and ive discovered that for some reason or other i really enjoy cutting meat. i hope thats not too weird?

for now though, i will keep on chugging along if only because its saving me money from eating out all the time and maybe one day miraculously everything will just come together and ill finally be able to make a dish that is cooked all the way through, not burnt and have a little bit of flavor. that is all i ask. when i find that dish, you can bet ill be having myself a dinner party. at least i always have a good stash of wine to wash it down with or to mask the taste if needed.