it's done. it's over. finito. what has consumed my life the past three months or so but especially during the past week is done. yesterday marked my last day on my sf client. no more public transportation although that will soon change with my move to sf this summer. no more getting spit on by homeless people. no more packing and unpacking each weekend. finally my life can resume some sort of normalcy. actually i can finally get my life back again. maybe some of my spunk will return because apparently it was missing as i was informed by a friend a few weeks earlier.

but this is more than just the end of a job. i leave clients all the time and move on to the next one without a second thought but never in my three and half years here have i devoted more time and energy and become so passionate about work and meeting the deadline. no team has ever met it before. at least not in the past three years anyways. we all became obsessed is the only way i can describe it. obsessed with finishing. obsessed with being the first to meet the deadline. obsessed with relishing in the joy of telling the client to fuck off for being such dicks to us. in my head of course and pardon my language. i am known to swear after normal working hours.

i don't think anyone can really understand except the four of us. my team i'm referring to of course. no matter how much i try to explain it or describe it no one will truly know. even i can't quite wrap my mind around it but this is probably the worst and best experience in my three and half years in the corporate world to date. the best referring to my co-workers. we rocked. never did i think i'd get so close to people i work with but i guess that's what happens when you essentially see them more than anyone else in your life for three months straight. the worst being the client who hated us, the room where everyone got sick, the late hours, the frustration and yet a little part of me is still contemplating recurring next year. yes slap me now please. i probably do need a rude awakening.

my city vacation has not exactly turned out as i had hoped. for the past week or so i've become a working machine. little to no chatting. no phone calls. turned down all lunch requests and happy hours. my life just stopped completely. all i did was work and then work some more. our routine came down to working till 10pm in the room with no air conditioning to where it felt like i was sweating on a hot humid day in taiwan to going back to the hotel room and showering only to meet up again in my co-workers room thirty minutes later to work some more till 3 or 4am when i couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. we pulled in desks and chairs from the other rooms and the place that we've all been calling home for the past couple of months became a makeshift office. even i wasn't quite sure how i did it. working till midnight for an entire month? who knew i had it in me.

but we did it. the deadline was met yesterday night around 9pm. it was quite an emotional day evidenced by the fact that when the IT guys sent us flowers with a card saying "you'll be missed" myself along with another co-worker both got a little teary eyed. don't ask why. throughout the day everyone kept asking how many issued? how many more to go? but when the last email was sent and the entire team including the partner and manager went out for a celebration dinner i hadn't felt that proud of myself or my team in quite a while. this is easily the best team i've ever worked with. like one of them said, if i was on the job with anyone else i probably would of quit by now. it's hard to describe but as we were all pulling our luggage and carrying our roses to the bart station to go our separate ways a wave of sadness washed over me. cheesy yes i know.

it was all worth it though. having the partner treat us to a nice expensive dinner to having the manager check in for the night at the same hotel and hitting up the bars at north beach where we all drank and danced the night away. stopping off at seven eleven to look for more alcohol only to find none and then passing out in my hotel room only to wake up this morning and realize that hey i don't need to go to work. we've got the day off and you know the manager loves the team when she too comes shopping with us in the city. it was easily one of the best days i've had this month. no stress. no work hanging over my head. just overall elation as the day we've all been looking forward to has finally arrived. there's even talk of a vegas trip. vegas with co-workers? i haven't even gone to vegas with a lot of my other friends.

it's going to be weird working with a new team and being on a new client but after my job in orange county this week i don't intend on flying anywhere for a while. a couple weeks at least anyways. it felt good tonight to come home and open up the mail and get my life in semi order. paid the mortgage. paid the homeowner fees. paid my cell phone bill. and i'm even looking forward to coming back and cleaning up my room once and for all. finally i can put my luggage away and organize my life and if i'm real good i'll even try to make it to a couple of kickboxing classes here and there.

the coveted double eyelid. i watched a documentary if you can call it that by suchin pak the other night on mtv about asian girls and their never ending quest to obtain the double eyelid. if you are asian and don't know what i'm talking about it's safe to bet that you have an extra crease above your eye. be sure to thank your parents. just why is the double eyelid so coveted anyways? several questions were raised. are we trying to look more american? are we hiding from our true culture? is it so we can fit in more at school? i say bs to all this. i hate it when people overanalyze things. especially on a topic such as this but then again i am a simple kind of girl. let me let you in on a little secret. the real reason having a double eyelid is so great is due to the world of eyeshadows. yes you heard me correctly. eyeshadows. i've seen the wonders of what eyeshadow can do but without the double eyelid you can pretty much just forget about it.

it's not just having a double eyelid though. it's having a deep set double eyelid. very rarely seen on an asian. full asian anyways. being mixed does not count. every girl knows the three rules of applying eyeshadow. light colors on the brow bone. medium shade in between and then dark right above the eye. i think these are the three rules anyways. i didn't use to be a glamour subscriber for nothing. however when you lack the double eyelid all these rules must go out the window. trust me. i've tried. makeover gurus at sephora and at makeup counters have tried. it all turns out looking like an experiment gone horribly wrong. who wants to walk around with two black eyes. actually i take that back. miss sharon kim has worked wonders with my eyes but seeing how she lives clear across the country that really does me no good. how i long to use three shades of eyeshadow without walking out of the house looking like a freak.

i remember when i was younger i had zero double eyelids. nada. but sometimes if i was lucky and really sleepy the double crease on one eye would make a rare appearance. i loved it. i would try to stay awake as long as i could just to stare at it in the mirror. then one day i woke up and the crease on that one eye was here to stay. but then came an even greater dilemma. when taking pictures one eye would look bigger than the other so the only remedy? to train myself to smile more on one side of my face to even things out. but then i was introduced to the world of creating a double eyelid by using tape. if you don't know what i'm talking about ask me. i'll gladly show you...it'll be fun! who knew tape had so many qualities. the tape remedy lasted until a couple of years later (or maybe it was months?) when the second double eyelid showed up and ever since then i've been one happy girl.

i know you're probably thinking...does the double eyelid deserve this much recognition and heartache? i'd have to say yes. call me narcissistic but as an asian girl who went from none to two over a span of a couple years, i can tell you that it made a big difference in my life. sad i know. there's not one day that goes by that i don't thank the fact that my mom had big enough eyes to compensate for my dad's and that jon got the little eyes of the family. hey he got the body he can't possibly get the eyes too. now what can you learn from my tragic experience? marry white and all this trouble could be prevented in the future. oh wait did i just say that out loud?

so i've been sick this week but no this is not one of those wah wah whine whine type of blogs to gain some sympathy. i've whined quite enough this week to those lucky few who had to endure it. i love getting sympathy when i'm sick. it's sad i know. but i went to the doctor and was diagnosed with pharyngitis. now if you're jon g you ask "what the heck is pharyngitis you diseased stricken woman!" so nice.

but the good part about being sick is that i got to go home early this entire week and even took an entire day off tuesday. but it's not as great as it sounds. especially when you're stuck in a hotel room all day long with nowhere to go. my day consisted literally of lying on the bed watching tv and passing out every so often. then my exercise for the day consisted of walking from the bed to the bathroom. from the bed to the table. from the bed to the door as my co-worker arrived with some much needed cough drops. from the bed to the kitchenette to make myself some tea. you get my point. needless to say by the time i checked out friday morning i was pretty sick of the hotel room and watching tv.

it's been quite a while since i've consumed so much television and i'm sick of it. and this is coming from someone who has watched copious amounts in her lifetime. i've watched inside fear factor. inside real world. the rich and fabulous lifestyles of cameron diaz, justin timberlake and britney spears. a documentary on bride kidnapping, a tradition that is alive and well even to this day. another documentary about opium drug rings in burma and a special on whore houses in thailand. re-runs of friends, seinfeld, cheers, will and grace and even saved by the bell. good old screech. i've even watched both episodes of american idol as well as another episode of apprentice. and this is only from memory. i'm sure i've watched lots more crap but just can't remember at the moment.

i will say that though that being sick makes me more emotional. i cried when i watched rock star with jennifer aniston and mark wahlberg when he decided to leave the band and then upon seeing her again at the coffee shop said "i've missed you". doesn't sound like much but it certainly got me crying. then the next night i watched dave with sigourney weaver and kevin kline and cried as well. last night i watched stepmom and well i cried when they all took a family picture together at the end. yes a picture including the stepmom julia roberts.

i believe i now know what it feels like to be trapped inside a room for extended periods of time with nowhere to go. sure i could of gone out and walked around the city or better yet have jon g make me some chicken noodle soup but i don't think i had the energy. just taking a shower made me tired but i'm on the road to recovery. medicine does work! my weekend will consist of lots of rest when not going to the wedding or helping my mom move into the new house and what else. watching tv. surprise surprise.

at least hotel pan has cable now.

i went to "battlefest" yesterday. yes there is such a thing as battlefest here in san jose. i've never gone to one of these events before but i've certainly heard enough about it from hong and jon. or so i thought. however what i was expecting certainly was not what i saw. pulling up into the hotel and walking up to the line all i saw was a sea of filipinos. high school filipinos i should add. or at least they looked like they were in high school and all dressed in "urban wear". which apparently is a fashion term that i never even heard or knew anything about until i read an article about it in the monthly southwest magazine while flying to san diego last month.

now just what is urban wear you ask? unless of course you're fashionally aware and are already familiar with the term then aren't you feeling proud but here's my definition. urban wear consists of accessories. on both guys and girls and lots of them. by accessories i'm talking about wristbands, armbands, huge ass hoop earrings for girls and huge ass fake diamond earring (singluar) for guys. hey look it's my brother i'm describing! ha. lots of trucker hats and kangol hats in black and white. i never even knew what a kangol hat was until we bought one for hong on haight street. apparently they're all the rage these days. yes that is the extent of my knowledge. bandanas and sports jerseys up the yazoo. layering shirts on top of shirts and oh yes lots of mesh clothing. saw lots of guys with one pant leg pulled up just like ll cool j back in the day. i felt quite plain among the masses and was quite glad i was wearing a hat if anything just to fit in.

in all there were a total of ten dance groups. doesn't sound like much at first but after the first four or five i was pretty much over it. my only real exposure to this type of event would be going to funktion events and everyone kept asking me is this like the michigan group you go watch and my only response is i don't know. i don't think i know enough about dancing to tell really. my favorite performance was from this group called sick step. an all guys group from la and i mainly liked them because they did some real funny shit which actually made me laugh out loud. everyone and i do mean everyone knew how to breakdance. when did breakdancing get so damn popular? even little ass asian girls were breakdancing and doing moves i've never seen or at least haven't seen in a really long time. and this wasn't any ordinary breakdancing either. people were holding themselves up with one arm while doing various poses with their legs or crossing their legs over one another. it was wild.

but the highlight of the night was freestyle battling three on three. freestyling battling? am i really that old? the last time i saw any type of battling was during my rave days and even then i thought it was pretty lame. but this time i loved it. everyone was just so damn good and it was so fun to watch. the crowd was going nuts or would raise their hands whenever someone did a cool move and it was funny to see that whenever a hit song from the radio came on (i swear i heard the usher song that goes yeah! yeah! a minimum of three times at least) everyone's heads would start bopping in unison. heck i was even so impressed i was all ready to hit the after party with 15 and 16 year olds just to see them dance some more. but then reality hit and i realized hey these people can't even get into a regular club. actually they might have been in college but lemme tell you it was pretty hard to tell or maybe i'm just getting old.

at least i was able to pick the top three groups to win although not in the correct order. sick step was robbed i tell you. robbed! but once again this event just reaffirms my belief that guys who can dance are hot. i see it's time to go back to hip hop class again.

public transportation. defined as transportation for the public. uh duh. sounds simple enough but i don't think i ever quite realized that yes public transportation is just that. for the public. the masses. meaning people from all walks of life including the drunk, the weirdos and the homeless. i think i'm beginning to see the downside of taking the train to work everyday. now you're probably thinking…oh no did you fuck up even more at work and had your hotel taken away? well rest easy. i haven't reached that point yet. but apparently there is some huge ass conference in the city so me and my co-workers have been forced to commute. some drive. some take the bart. and some like myself and my co-worker take the train. but never fear as next week i will be back in my hotel again. jon g and victor can rejoice now.

my week consists of waking up at 6am to catch the 7am train to arrive at work at 9am. work the entire day and take the 9pm train to arrive back at the train station at 11pm. yes yes folks don't you envy me now. these days i'm up and out the door before vu which is quite an accomplishment in itself. and i've become a reviewing machine. it's a wonder what being bored on the train will do for you. someone suggested i read but i can't. gives me too much of a headache so my other alternative is to review. for a hour or so in the morning and then another hour or so at night. i've never been so efficient or written so many coaching notes. my associates must really love me now.

up to this week my experience with public transportation has been relatively positive but when one takes the 9pm train at night it certainly starts going downhill from there. i've sat scared in my chair typing furiously away at my laptop while the drunk man a couple of seats down argues on and on with the train conductor on why he didn't purchase a ticket and yet refuses to get off at the next stop. or even better yet when some guy is screaming madly that his wife got off at the wrong stop and the train must be stopped. now. or the biggest topper to date. getting sneezed on by a homeless man sitting behind you. that has got to be one of the grossest things to happen to me in quite a while. there i was sleeping peacefully next to my co-worker only to get woken up with spit…brown i might add….spit drops on the jacket sitting on my lap, the window next to me and even the chair in front of me. go figure. all i saw was his hands wiping his spit away on the window next to me. why he didn't use the napkin to cover his mouth i'll never know. needless to say we switched seats but i was too embarrassed to even look at him so he'll always be the faceless homeless man.

but let me tell you it smelled. me and my co-worker both windex-ed the hell out of my jacket and her laptop but i think i might just throw the jacket away. so sad. and as i'm walking to my car at 11pm i make sure to have my car unlocked, jacket off and laptop ready to be thrown into the trunk. isn't the life of an auditor just grand? i think i should invest in some pepper spray.

my room is a mess and i hate it. every sunday night i have a little ritual usually right before i start getting ready for bed of cleaning and tidying up my room. bills and paperwork get filed away in their proper folders. laundry just washed is folded and put away nice and neatly. trash gets thrown away and if i was real good i would of washed my bedsheets and towels too. the glasses of water on my nightstand is brought to the kitchen to be washed at a later time and shoes are put back in their boxes. everything is made nice and orderly for the start of work monday. there's nothing better than coming home late from work to an organized room.

but the last time i was able to clean my room properly was about one month ago. one month! now my room is in disarray and it really annoys the shit out of me. clothes are strewn all across the floor. my half unpacked suitcase from staying in the city is still sitting out in the hallway. empty shoeboxes are everywhere and dirty clothes have been mixed with clean clothes. a big no no in my book. clothes needing to be dry cleaned lay tossed in a corner waiting. waiting for when i'll have enough time to bring them in. it's sad really. this is why i could probably never be a traveling savvy business woman. or girl that is. i hate living out of suitcases. even my makeup and toiletries are still kept in their traveling bags because really what's the point of unpacking only to pack again. and even worse my tennis shoes worn last week are still sitting in the trunk of my car with the dirty socks stuffed inside. nasty.

the reason of all this mess? a combination of working and living in the city on weekdays and then being out of town or having visitors on weekends. i barely have enough time to stop off at walgreens to buy myself some new toothpaste. these days by the time i get home i'm so tired i just grab my regular cup of ice water from the kitchen, change into my pajamas and throw the work clothes on the floor. i then wash my face, brush my teeth and scrub behind my ears like a good girl does and crawl into bed. only to get up again in about 5 or 6 hours to repeat again. wash rinse repeat.

oh it's a glorious life i lead. on a side note, i've been commuting and taking the train back and forth this week from san jose to sf. let me tell you this public transportation thing is losing its novelty real quick. but i'll blog more on that later. don't pee in your pants now.

i've come to the realization that i take my us citizenship much too lightly. i never knew and still don't know too much about the work visa process or getting a green card but just recently in the last few months i've heard the plight of many whose future is all wrapped up in obtaining the ever elusive green card. and for what? just for the opporutunity to stay in america. that's it. simply just to stay. something that i take for granted each and everyday as a citizen.

i guess it's because my parents took care of all of that for me. all i had to do was memorize a couple of facts of which i never even got quizzed on and go to some courthouse and hold up my hand and solemnly swear that yes i do pledge allegiance to the united states of america. at least that's what i think happened anyways. jon will have a better idea. he seems to remember so much more about our childhood than i do including the preschool we attended which i really have no recollection of at all.

but today i had lunch with a co-worker and as i listened to his visa woes it dawned on me just how lucky i am. how lucky that my parents were willing to leave family and everything behind to come to the states with minimal knowledge of english in order for their kids to have a better life. and yet here i sit still from time to time complaining about really the most mundane things that i'm even pretty ashamed to admit. take my co-worker's story for instance. both him and his girlfriend of five years are on work visas here in the states. hers expires in a matter of months and the quota for H-1 visas (i believe that's what they're called) is filled until october. so what happens? his happiness and really his future is solely determined based upon her finding an employer willing to provide sponsorship. if not, it's bye bye for who knows how long.

he is in the process of trying to find sponsorship for a green card and before the firm will ever commit to any type of sponsorship, he must be promoted this year with a high ranking. not such an easy feat. i was told the green card process takes a minimum of three to four years. is this true? i had worked with a manager a couple months back who just obtained his green card and he was the happiest man i had seen in quite a long time. ecstatic. for one little card that means so much.

i felt almost not worthy of my citizenship status as i listened to him describe to me with a passion all that he's going through. i just can't imagine not even having a choice of where you want to live and having the person you think you will marry carted out of the country because the quota has been filled. or not having the freedom to travel where you like without fear of not being let back into the country. i remember hearing a story once of a manager here at work who returned to their home country for vacation but ended up not being able to come back for a couple of months due to visa issues.

is it possible that i live in my little bubble and am so unaware of all of this? no need to answer or leave sarcastic mean comments. i know the answer is yes. of course all of this is based upon my limited contact with this topic but really it's stories like these that i hear about from time to time that do me a world of good and remind me that yes you are a spoiled girl and stop complaining about crap because really you've got it so much better than a lot of other people.

i went out and got drunk last night. me and my co-worker. it's been quite a while since i've been drunk. silly drunk anyways. the reason? work. first time in my three plus years in corporate america i felt the need to go to a bar, plunk down some bills and drink two tokyo ice teas in thirty minutes.

want to know a great way to demoralize any and all morale left on the team? have the manager participate with you on a status update meeting and at the end, coming out of nowhere hear the words...i'm very disappointed in you "fill in name here" and the team. i expected more from you. uh excuse me? am i hearing this right? we've been working our asses off during the day and yet here you sit telling us we're not being efficient because we're not working ten hour workdays. but yet at the same time we're asking too many questions. i'm sorry but the last time i checked that's what an auditor did. asked questions. or really should we just sit in our little makeshift closet which doubles as the computer room and sit there idly twidling our thumbs while we watch one by one as team members drop like flies due to strep throat. only to find out that yes the entire team last year came down with strep and mono a fact which no one told us about. this is just like last year they said. ha ha ha. it must be the room we're working in! uh no shit sherlock.

i actually heard the words this job is not a city vacation. city vacation? uh are you shitting me? i'm not even going out at night save for the occassional dinner. if this type of behavior continues we'll have to rethink you guys staying in the city. hm...no one told me when i asked to stay in the city that i'd be expected to work more just because i live three blocks away. and as if chewing me out wasn't enough, the entire team save for the two out with strep throat gets pulled into a meeting only to get chewed out together as a group. then after the meeting we're told now we don't want you guys to take what we just said to heart. we're still very pleased with the work you've documented and the progress so far. oh right you just shit on me twice causing me to almost cry for the first time at work and no i won't take it to heart. because i am the tin man after all.

and yet we're on track to meet all deadlines. the entire team is new. all deadlines were missed last year. so really what is there to complain about? who knew you shouldn't "work towards the deadlines you should work ahead of the deadlines". it's no wonder no one wanted to recur this year.

so what do i do. go get drunk. it's really a great remedy. thanks ryan for the free drink...i really did need it. but the little ones are fighting back. me and the other in-charge plan on meeting with them. to tell them our side because really there was so much more i could of said last night but couldn't for fear of tears coming out and well now that just wouldn't be very professional would it. so yes the little girl who is all grown up as i've now taken the train, bart and the muni will not take this sitting down. now someone please order me another drink.

so i went to hip hop class last night. with jon g. yes a member of funktion. what better way to highlight the fact that i'm horrible. but i did make sure to repeat that this was a class taken at 24 fitness so one musn't compare it with the glory days of funktion practices. a couple of observations.

i really do suck. jon g is too damn good. even with his hip hurting he could still learn all the moves and do them perfectly. this must be what jon felt like during funktion practices. it's just not fair. but then again, i have been told i dance like a white girl (as in let's watch george dance and laugh incessantly and let's not say who was the first to bring up this point but really...your own flesh and blood?). i think my main problem is i have trouble doing the arm and foot movements at the same time. similar to when i took piano lessons when i could play each hand separately like a pro but always had trouble playing together. and so many eight counts. who can remember them all? apparently they can but not me. i learn them and when it's time to put them all together my mind is a jumble. and then to do it to tempo and with the music? hail mary. that's a long shot there. i can't move that fast!

but it's fun and i guess that's all that really matters. not much of a workout though. that's what kickboxing class is for. jon g did say he would never go back with me though. that just shows you how easy it was. and here i am, racking my brain just to remember the moves. what i do find funny though is there seems to be regulars there at each class. this never happened in san jose. it's only my second time but already i know who they are. and it's all guys. go figure. i am in sf after all. they come, practice in front of the mirror before class starts, actually goes up to the instructor afterwards to get help on some moves and love it when it's time to perform for the girls.

as in at the end of each class, the girls have to dance by themselves for the boys and vice versa. as if i didn't feel inadequate enough already. taking into the fact there's only maybe five girls and five boys there's nowhere to hide. my lack of talent is out there for all to see. but i've been assured with a little practice i could be the next newest member of 2xs. yeah right.

on a side note: next time you're at cheesecake factory order the bang bang chicken and shrimp. if you like thai coconut flavored dishes that is. it's great. fully endorsed by me, jon g and victor. what else do you need?

today was my first foray into public transportation in the bay area all by myself. yes siree bob. you heard me right. public transporation. this little girl is growing up right before our very eyes! i'm currently on a client in san francisco until the end of april so from now on i'll be a city girl monday through fridays. clap clap. it's really quite exciting. last week marked my first week staying in a hotel just two blocks from my work, sleeping in till 8am and still getting into work on time, stopping off at starbucks in the morning like true business yuppies do, getting my workouts in which includes hip hop classes of which i seem to get worse instead of better but i hear jon's pretty bad too so it must be a twin thing. i think i could get used to this. the only downside is lugging my suitcase around but it's only twice a week so i think i'll survive.

after three plus years of living in the bay area not once have i taken the train and my first experience was great. woke up on time at 5:45am (you can close your mouth in disbelief now) and was out the door by 6:30am. had about a ten or fifteen minute panic there when yahoo maps once again gave me shit directions but since i'm such a smart cookie i was able to find the station without too much damage being done. parked my car, asked a nice old lady where to buy my ticket and in words of encouragement assured me that yes riding the train is fun! (aren't old people so nice) and i had my ticket in hand by 7:08am in time for the 7:12am train. had a little trouble there working on opening the doors between the cars but once again, a nice little boy half my height was there to offer assistance. turn the handle to the left and pull. oh yes kind boy. thank you very much. my faith in human kindness has been restored.

four stops down my co-worker got on the train with me and we both proceeded to pull out our laptops and work. diligently i might add. my mom must be so proud. rolled into 4th and king and then with a hop and a skip connected to the muni to get to my building. all in all the entire trip took me about two hours but it felt more like thirty minutes. i'm sure the novelty of taking the train up and down mondays and friday won't be quite so fun a couple of weeks from now but for now, i'm still reveling in the joy.

giant games here we come. or the season is over isn't it? who knows. from now on, we take the train baby and connect to the muni. no more fighting traffic on the embarcadero. no more paying exorbitant prices for parking. my fare this morning totaled a whopping $6.75 and was well worth every penny.

i was on quite the adrenaline rush this morning if you couldn't tell and it's only my second week here. for those of you who don't mind visiting someone in a hotel for business professionals where really everyone i've seen is old fat white males in business suits (i must be quite the catch here) and where the rooms are quite small but comfy enough for one person, come visit me. i'll be here for three months living the city life and if you're extra lucky i'll even go down to the lower lobby and get you some nice ice and water. can't beat that now can you.

i watched mtv true life i'm an identical twin the other night. true i'm not an identical twin but i found some of the topics they discussed pretty interesting. apparently there's this annual "twinfest" held in ohio where twins mostly identical ones go. to do what i'm not quite sure. from what i could gather it was mainly to find other twins to hook up with which is essentially what these two twin sisters did. with no luck i might add. who knew desperate could come across so well on television. it almost seemed like fat camp but with no goal. at least at fat camp you know you're there to lose weight. but at twinfest? what's there to do besides look at other twins and go wow they look alike too! i remember i told this girl when we first met on love boat that i had a twin brother and from then on everytime i talked to her she was like "georgie! you have to go to twinfest!" apparently my saying no over and over hasn't registered just yet since it's still mentioned to me to this day.

mtv profiled another set of twin boys who have basically lived together all throughout their school years until doomsday came. college. one was off to pepperdine and another off to city college. it was meant to be the separating of the ways. but lo and behold after a short three or four months at pepperdine, the other twin moved home. to live with his brother for another four years and to join him at city college. he said he didn't feel "whole" being by himself and that he didn't feel as if he was an individual.

now this i just couldn't relate to. i don't think when jon went off to michigan i felt like i would wither away and die. but then of course i did go visit him every year for a month at a time to the point where his friends were like you're back again? but that's just because i was so much cuter and cooler that all of his friends wanted me back. all throughout our lives we were always known as jon and georgette. or georgette and jon i'd like to call us. and lucky for me, my parents gave me the unique name so when jon would introduce himself and receive a blank look he could always fall back on you know...jon and georgette? then the lightbulb would click.

even when we went off to college a lot of my friends would be curious to meet him because you know we're twins. and once when he did finally go out with all of us in downtown san diego he was known as george's brother. ha. love it. having a twin though really does have its advantages. some of my friends can't fathom the fact that yes we drink together. or i drink and he watches. or that yes we go clubbing together and even dance in the same circle! *gasp* although when we were in high school i believe we had something like five sets of fraternal twins in our grade. that was pretty nuts. luckily we weren't the nerdiest ones. at least i don't think so anyways.

at least when girls were interested in jon they would be extra nice to me. and there's more than you might think. the family advantage you know. but i suppose all siblings get that type of treatment regardless of if you're a twin or not.

for some odd reason, a plethora of people have been wanting to set me up recently and i'm not quite sure why. is it because they think i'm desperate? need to expand my horizons? get a free meal instead of eating frozen dinners all the time? although surprisingly, spaghetti lean cuisine is pretty good. i always respond with no thanks i hate blind dates and why would i want to put myself through the torture but then get countered with it's not a blind date. it's a get together and you'll both be there. bleh. still no thanks.

going on a blind date is not exactly high on my to do list. it's not even on my list at all although i do like watching blind date sometimes mainly for the captions. as victor said, for man jose, you'd be considered a good catch. wow thanks victor. who knew that in a land of all guys and where every cute girl is taken for i could possibly be considered a good catch. there is a reason i moved on up to san jose then. hallelujah! i better scratch all plans to move up to sf then because there is no way i can compete with all those gay boys. victor is much better looking.

but it did get me thinking. where do people meet their potentials after college? i can't remember if i've blogged about this before and i'm much too lazy to go digging through my archives so if you are a faithful reader (all five of you) and i have broached this topic before...well tough. read it again. one would assume work would be the number one place but from what i've heard...work usually consists of people older than you with kids and why mess up your work environment if things don't work out? as a wise man once told me to which i paid no attention to as usual but everyone knows...don't mix your work and personal life if at all possible. even if you end up working for a company where each year around say september timeframe you know about sixty or so recent college grads will be entering the workforce...even then it's hard to meet someone. because once you start having different "titles" or seniority it can become quite awkward. who wants to work for someone they're dating? although this hasn't deterred very many people at my workplace at all.

then i've heard about those speed dating programs where it's set up like clockwork. plop down, talk to someone for a timed ten minutes and give them a rating. if you both like each other, well then it's your lucky day and you've got one more email address to write to. i used to think that speed dating might actually be kind of fun but then decided it's too much like cattle herding. why go when you know most people will be basing you on your physical looks anyways and that's just much too harsh not to mention the pressure. oh i better get ready and look good for meeting strangers who will ask you the same questions over and over, where are you from? what do you do? why are you here? i'd rather have a drink with my friends. now that would be a well ten minutes spent.

but we are forgetting about one very important factor. i am a girl contrary to popular belief and it's much easier for girls to meet guys than vice versa. i used to think not but have changed my mind over the years. why is it that guys are always expected to make the first move? how will those shy poor boys ever meet anyone? if anything, i'd rather be set up with a nice shy boy than one of those cocky boys. because as much we girls and boys hate it, it's always those wise cracking egotistical boys that end up with all the chicks anyways. at least for a little while.

busy season. it is the death of us all. at least for those of us dumb enough to choose accounting as our major. not only do we have to work long hours day after day after day after day (you get the idea) there's the freshmen fifteen that applies as well. except it isn't just confined to your freshmen years. it's every busy season you choose to put yourself through. meaning when i first started working, i ate. a lot. i wasn't used to working 11 or 12 hour days and not getting weekends off so in my spare time i would snack. as the lowest person on the totem pole i would be the one designated to bring in snacks for the team. morale building efforts you see. all paid for by the firm. so snacks they wanted. snacks i brought. cookies, gummy bears, gum for those with bad breath, chips in every flavor. basically anything and everything that could easily fit into the palm of your hand and dump into your mouth in one easy motion. as a result, at the end of busy season i was several pounds heavier. how much i couldn't tell you as there was no way i was stepping onto a scale but easily at least ten pounds i would think.

and so i spent the summer trying to lose it. with mild success surprisingly. but summer is meant for a season of bathing suits and shorts and tanktops and tan legs being i am from sunny california. what use is there when you finally lose the weight at the end of summer only to come into fall where pants and long sleeve shirts are required. oh wait it's summer here all year round. scratch that thought then but you know what i'm getting at. who wants to spend their time at the gym stuck inside when one could be laying out setting yourself up for skin cancer in the future.

and now i'm into busy season again. except this time i'm well aware of the freshmen fifteen. maybe i'm the idiot here seeing how this is my fourth busy season and i've made no real attempts to find something else but i mean fourth? coming out of college my mentality was to stay around no longer than two possibly three years and now here i am. stuck at four. with the same snacks surrounding me this time bought by my associates and it's all i can do to not eat them. which could explain why i'm chewing gum excessively and chugging water like a dehydrated runner. but it's not working.

it's only the second week into january and i've already gained weight. i can feel my stomache expanding and this morning i woke up with a belly. yes a true belly that sticks out. a belly on a guy is cute (as long as it is not the size of a beach ball) and on a girl is not so cute. and for those friends who are nice i'm sure you're thinking you don't have a belly...don't be silly but then again there are those who are not so nice (who seem to be my closer friends for some reason) thinking didn't you have a belly before?

so really this is what my day consists of. the constant battle to not snack and then the debate with myself on the way home from work of whether i should go workout or not. let's just say i haven't worked out once this year. you figure out which side wins. but maybe i'll finally get off my ass and go to the gym tonight. those elliptical machines are actually kind of fun except when i start huffing and puffing and blow the house down. or i can go home and make myself a big ass dinner and park in front of the tv to watch making of the video of toxic. britney spears. although that really was worth the fat i gained last night. those diamonds placed "strategically" on her body look hot. ok i better stop now. i sound like a lesbian. not that there is anything wrong with that of course as this is a politically correct website.

confidantes. there are certain people i tell just about everything to (actually i think grace is the only one that falls into this category) without fear of judgment or repercussion even after i've fucked up quite badly or done some things that are just too embarrassing to repeat and yet i've got no qualms in telling her. maybe because grace's way of thinking is just as fucked and messed up as mine at times which is why we're best friends after all. i'm sure the san diego crew will attest to our messed up way of thinking in a heartbeat but they're all used to it by now and can really only shake their heads at us. what else can you expect from two twenty-five year old girls trying to figure out what the hell they want out of life.

then there are others who i mainly turn to for boy advice and i lavish all my thoughts and confusions onto them and they spit out some pretty sound advice of which i never listen to of course and in the long run what they tell me will happen inevitably does and then i'm left screwed with nothing to retort except yes i know you told me so. quite a run-on sentence isn't it? screw proper grammar. it's surprising really that they still have the patience to continue listening and dishing out advice i never listen to. like i told them, sure i know what you're supposed to do or what the logical act is supposed to be but really i've either got no willpower to follow through or half the time i really just want to do what i want whether it makes sense or not. it's nice just to have someone listen though. folks that fall into this category would be mr marshman and mr wallace and it is to my bad luck that they too are friends and have been known in the past to discuss my stories among themselves. unfortunately for me, as they both are sensible logical guys with a good head on their shoulders they both tend to reach the same conclusion just about every time.

then there are those who i talk a whole lot of shit with. actually grace falls into this category too but she essentially falls into every category so i'll shut up about her now but as curtis pointed out in his blog, i've taken shit talking in 2003 to a whole new level. and i do mean a whole new level. except that now i tell the person that i'm shit talking about them with no qualms really. i am entitled after all to my own opinion. so curtis you get your balls back yet? ha. others that fall into this category is any member of the pc so basically that includes curtis, sanford, bren and then sam as the honorary pc member. then there's the occassional shit talking that goes on all the way from hong kong between me and nancy and who knew i could possibly type so fast but we girls must stick together.

ex-boyfriends kind of fall into a whole category on their own. i really only talk to three and one hears all my shit talking whether he likes it or not, another i hardly ever get the chance to talk to but when i do it's always fun and who knew our sense of humor would be so similar and finally, the last who calls to check up on me every so often just to make sure i haven't gone out and done something wild and crazy which i usually have and then i can hear the disappointment in his voice.

then there are those who you talk to currently that don't really fall into any category since it's a little too early to begin my shit talking and plus one musn't scare them away. and of course there's no point in telling them your guy woes as they're probably the one you're woeing (is that even a word?) about but it's quite amazing just how many little secrets you'll give up to a stranger really. but for however long you do talk they've almost reached grace level even if most often it's only temporary.

and that is a little glimpse into my bubble of those that keep me sane.

a case of the monday morning blues and boy do i have it bad. actually more like the monday afternoon blues. i got in to work around 1:30pm today and have been sitting here idly trying my hardest to get some work done but all in all i've put in maybe a good fifteen or thirty minutes so far. tops. i had a doctor's appointment at 10:45am and in my ambitious nature i had all the intent and purposes to get to work on time sharp at 8:30am, work for a bit and then head off for my appointment but alas i've failed. miserably too. alarm went off at 7:20am, got up and reset it to 9am and then proceeded to keep hitting snooze until 10am when i finally woke up to go to the doctor's and then waited to get my blood work done for another hour.

what a great way to start off the new year. i guess this getting back to the work schedule is going to be harder than i originally thought. at least i'm in the office until thursday so my brain can remain somewhat comatose for a little while longer. just a little while though. i've already checked all my 300 some emails while i was away with the majority of them being spam and advertisements for penis enlargement. thanks but the last time i checked i was a girl although i know it does get confusing sometimes what with the short boyish haircut and me going by "george". i've opened up all of my mail and put them in an orderly fashion inside a big envelope to look over sometime tomorrow and i've paid my visits to mr marshman and mr pio roda who showed me his excel spreadsheet of wedding expenses and i am now even more convinced that i may never want to get married. eloping is the key here.

my key highlight of the day was getting my regular pasta salad and tomato basil soup for lunch and then my green tea in the afternoon from our new flavia coffee making machine. it seems we keep changing those machines every year. is that really a necessity? don't we have better things to do with our time and money here like say replenishing the pens in the supply room? oh yes i did that too...i'm now all stocked up on supplies for busy season. aren't i organized.

they did have a sign up in the kitchen though that announced some new things for 2004 to look forward to with one of them being chai latte so that i'm pretty excited about. i just need to figure out where i can get it...i didn't see any flavia packs in the kitchen. kind of sad when the announcement of new coffee machines and chai latte can totally make my day but i've still got the sore legs to remind me of the fun this past weekend for curtis's birthday. it can only get better from here on out. i think anyways.

i got a tattoo over xmas break. about the only productive thing i've done since i've been here in san diego. well not sure if you can call getting a tattoo being productive but hey it got me out of the house for something other than eating and that's always a huge accomplishment. jon and i now have matching tattoos. of the virgo sign because for those not in the know we are twins. whee. we're bonded forever as if sharing the same womb wasn't enough. i got mine on my back and jon's on the wrist. i can see now why getting tattoos can possibly be so addictive. i love mine and the fact that jon and i got the same ones. love it. even my mom thought the concept was pretty cute. parents are always happy when the kids get along. i make sure to moisturize everyday and keep it out of the sun (not that it's been that hard considering it's been so cold here in san diego) and i will be nowhere close to a pool or spa anytime for an entire month. such a big sacrifice in this type of weather i know.

now i know you're all wondering...does it hurt? that was my main worry obviously. watching jon get his not just one but two tattoos first without making any type of face i was pretty close to convincing myself i wouldn't feel a thing. probably didn't help that i had greg, louis and caroline all standing in the room with me just expecting me to break out in tears. the pain was bearable though. hurt more than what jon said that's for sure but i took it like a champ. made some grimaces but really the needle was moving so much that if it did hurt it'd only last a short little while. besides after a while my back became numb anyways and it just became a dull throbbing pain.

walking out of the tattoo parlor with a paper towel taped on my back i felt like a badass girl. someone please play family affair now to pump me up or hella good by no doubt will do as well. finally after weeks of talking about it and thinking about it it's done. i've been asked if i think i'll regret it later on in life when i'm old and shriveled to which i always answer no because really how shriveled can my back get anyways and jon has the same one so that's enough for me.

next up could possibly be another tattoo with jon of our last name if only i can find an image that i like. but if i don't, i'm quite satisfied with the one i've got now and come summer time, i plan to sport plenty of tanktops to show that yes i've gone and survived through the pain and that yes i'm one bad motherfucka. just had to throw that pulp fiction reference in there.

i'm hating work at the moment. i've been working in sf the past two weeks and it's horrible. i wake up every morning a hour too late inevitably and somehow i never remember hitting the snooze button six separate times. i've been trying to go to sleep around 10:30pm each night in an attempt to wake up on time but have yet to be successful.

upon waking up i brush my teeth, put on my contacts, shower, figure out what to wear, put on my sumotech and makeup and then i'm out the door. all within thirty minutes. not bad i don't think. but then i sit in gridlock traffic for one and a half hours to the city. one and a half hours. it takes me about forty minutes just to get to the 280/880 intersection which should typically only take me fifteen minutes and then today...after driving for one hour i've only reached palo alto. someone please shoot me. if not for howard stern in the mornings i'd be bitching even more and trust me...i've been bitching a lot. to anyone who will listen. on a side note, did anyone hear the karaoke contest on howard stern last week? it was one of the funniest shows i've heard in a long time...so funny that i had to call mr marshman to share in my joy. my only other known howard stern fan.

then i get to work in a room that is so hot that i need to dress in layers which really pisses me off because i am unable to wear my cute winter clothes. and what's the point of having cute clothes if you can never wear it. no sweaters, no turtlenecks, nothing. after putting in my eight hours of working with clients who hate you and send you massive spreadsheets and plunk down huge binders full of crap that you have no idea what to do with i go home. for another one hour and fifteen minute drive. can you believe that it actually took me one hour to get onto the freeway last week? one hour! i literally stayed on the same block for forty minutes. i probably could of parked my car and walked to jon g's place in that time. ridiculous.

on my way home, i play the same cd's over and over because the radio sucks and i'm too lazy to change the cd's while i'm driving and i always forget to grab my audio book victor loaned me out of my trunk until it's too late. on a side note, i need new cd's jon. burn me some please. and soon! i then get home, eat a little something, proceed to get my ass kicked in top spin on xbox live by tri and vi which pisses me off even more and then it's off to get ready for bed.

oh and on top of all this did i mention that i've put on 1,500 miles on my car within a week and a half? my warranty is slowly disappearing before my eyes. everyone says well at least you're commuting in a nice car so it's not as bad. uh no. driving for three hours everyday is not fun no matter what car you're in. especially when half of that time is spent in bumper to bumper traffic. yes yes things could be worse. i could have no job and nowhere to commute to so i should be grateful but really...i've got to bitch a little. as my friend said this is taking the spunkiness out of you. who knew i was spunky but yes...it's gone. i'm tired all the time, my butt hurts all the time and my finger hurts all the time in an effort to find a decent radio station to listen to.

at least i've only got three more days of this before i'm off on my two week vacation and then it's back to work only to endure this all over again. did i already ask someone to shoot me please?

let's just change my name to naive george now shall we? or maybe this is a sign that city life isn't really for me. here's my story of how i was duped for a cool $20 last night. in my embarrassment of re-telling my story to jon g, martin and babbs i changed the story from $20 to $10 mainly so i wouldn't seem as stupid but the more and more i think about it the more and more dumb i seem. but what else is new...these types of situations just seem to find me for some reason.

as i pull into the parking lot across the street from where jon g lives a guy (the parking attendant i assumed) said $7 please. to which having just gone to the bank and only having crisp twenty dollar bills in my wallet i handed him one. he asked, do you have anything smaller to which i reply nope so he goes well i don't have any change so i'm going to run down to the store and get some. in the meantime you go ahead and park. so i do and i was a bit preoccupied in trying to figure out just exactly where i was and where jon g's building was but after standing around waiting for a cool five minutes with no sign of the guy coming back i started to get nervous. did the guy run off with my money? but wasn't he the parking attendant? i even asked some random guy on the street where he went...obviously he didn't know. wasn't quite sure what i was thinking there. i even contemplated calling jon g but then i was like well what could he possibly do? plus i still wasn't completely convinced i was duped. i still had a small ray of hope. just then i noticed a parking spot on the street open up so i went back to my car and moved it to the street and as it had now being close to fifteen minutes passed, i gave up and called jon g to let me into his building.

as i'm standing there waiting i noticed a big sign on a pole next to the parking lot which states in all capital letters i might add "NO PARKING ATTENDANT ON DUTY. DO NOT PAY IMPOSTER. PAY AT BOX". i had to stare at the sign for a couple seconds before it dawned on me...shit i just paid an imposter! i can't believe it...something like this has never happened to me before. the nerve! maybe they should consider putting that sign somewhere a little bit more visible instead of high up on a pole that no one's going to see until after they've already given away their hard earned cash.

so that was my twenty dollars down the drain. i do apologize though to martin, babbs and jon g for lying about ten dollars but you must understand my shame. and to top my night off, as martin and i were leaving, we noticed a parking ticket on my car because i failed to move for street cleaning. mental note that street cleaning is from 2 - 6am on mission sunday mornings. who knew. and as i drove martin to his car we noticed a nice little white parking ticket stuck to his car as well. $35 fine so all in all parking cost me about $55 bucks that night but oh wells. things could be worse and i got to hang out with some michigan folks so it was all well worth it. next time i pay at the box as should you.

the high point of my weekend in ohio had to be dinner at morton's steakhouse saturday night with chris, his older brother tom and his wife cassandra. i think it's the closest to being wined and dined that i'm ever going to get. first off his brother is a regular there. and i do mean regular. complete with his own waitress maxine i believe was her name and his own wine cellar. who has their own wine cellar at morton's? crazy. but lucky for me he had just gotten back from a weekend trip to napa (a place i have yet to go to but will be soon with victor hopefully) and brought back a whole crate of very expensive wine. before dinner we sat in the lounge area and i felt like a real sophisticated adult what with us sipping red wine, making conversation and tom and chris smoking their cigars. it was pretty amusing actually to see the managers kiss ass like no other and everything was mr brigdon this or mr brigdon that and as i was part of the party, i too got my ass kissed a bit. it was great. i highly recommend it. made me feel extremely important.

dinner consisted of two appetizers, lots of side dishes complete with hash browns, broccoli, asparagus and baked potatoes. then came our entree of which i ordered the rib eye steak which was damn good and all the while i'm drinking my wine like a real lady and thought to myself so this is how the rich people live. we got dessert...some godiva chocolate cake thing that was very very good...i highly recommend it and then chris ordered me a michelob beer (low carbs too it said on the label which i thought was pretty funny) and of course i had to finish it off with an after dinner drink on the house of bailey's on ice. yum. all in all our total bill came out to be over one grand and some change. yes you read it correctly. one grand! for a night out at dinner? damn. i don't even know how the bill got to be that much but i'm assuming maybe it has to do with the two bottles of wine we finished? i'm not sure how expensive they were but i'm assuming it was up there.

before dinner chris and i had gone to his brother's house or should i say mansion to visit and i got to see eric clapton's house (or it's rumored to be eric clapton's house anyways) which was down the street from tom's house and then the president of the limited lived a couple doors down as well and all of these houses were huge. it was ridiculous. i could barely believe my eyes. and just to show you how ridiculous this whole thing is his brother even has his own private jet! his own jet! i thought only movie stars and rappers could afford this. in either case, it was a really great experience and if you'll excuse me i must leave work now and go home and heat up my frozen dinner.

NOTE: blog written yesterday in a state of delirium due to the events below.

i hate chicago. or rather yet i hate having to connect flights through chicago. now i finally understand why it’s nicknamed the windy city. i type this as i sit here at the airport in the last hour of my three hour layover. but let me start from the beginning. i went to ohio this past weekend to go visit chris. originally booked a 6:30am flight to leave friday morning to cleveland only to arrive at the airport well ahead of time (a little more than a hour) only to find out that the security line was one hour long. on top of the thirty minute wait to check in my luggage. needless to say, i missed my flight. by ten minutes exactly. why the hell are there so many people at the airport anyways so early on a friday? must be some business reason i don’t know about. so i'm forced to wait another two hours until the next flight to cleveland but oh wait. it gets even better. chris calls and was like hey i was looking at your itinerary and it says here that you’re flying into cleveland. is that correct? uh yes i mumble. why? because i don’t live in cleveland, i live two hours away in columbus. columbus? i don’t remember him ever telling me that…there’s got to be a good reason why i booked it to cleveland but most likely not. my memory is horrible. so lo and behold, as my luggage was already on the 6:30am flight to cleveland, chris had to drive two hours to get me at the airport and then we drove two hours back. trust me i was apologizing profusely but all he said was “this is a very george thing to do” and i’d have to agree sadly.

the next day i try to switch my flight to fly out of columbus but to no avail. damn airline wants to charge me for a whole new ticket at a steep $630. f-ck you. so i decide instead of making chris drive another four hours for my mistake i rent a rental car instead and drive myself. only to get to the airport and find out that my flight is delayed a hour because of “winds” in chicago which means i would miss my connecting flight. go figure. But hey i figure if my flight is delayed maybe my connection will be delayed too right? uh no…of course not. the flight i miss leaves on time so i’m stuck on another flight two hours later. a freaking two hour layover? damn. so there i sit on the floor with nothing to do except chat on the phone which isn’t all that bad since i did a lot of catching up with people but still… when my cell is just about out of batteries, i decide to finally go to the gate only to find out that yet again my flight is delayed another hour and so here i sit, my butt sore and my tummy hurting because out of boredom i have consumed a mcdonald’s hamburger, filet o’ fish, a hot dog, chicken noodle soup and two scoops of ice-cream during my time here and now i’m hating myself and my stomache is hating me too. i did succeed in finding a power outlet though next to the ticket counter which the ticket counter lady so graciously let me use but now i feel like a paranoid freak because i’m convinced someone is going to run up and steal the phone away lying helplessly there on the floor. but i’m watching it like a hawk don’t you worry.

all in all, i was supposed to arrive in san jose at 7pm but now won’t be arriving until close to 11:30pm which means taking into account that i first arrived at the airport at 1:30pm eastern time (10:30am pacific for those a little slow) i would have spent a full 12 hours at the airport on top of the 9 hours I spent on friday.

yes yes need i mention, never ever connect through chicago especially when it’s windy out because you’ll get fucked like me and waste an entire sunday here. but on a more cheerful note, the weekend with chris and seeing ohio was really fun and i will blog more about it later.