i had one of my best weekends in a while. the last time we all got together, or most of us anyways was at le prive in la and that was just a blah night. no one was really in the mood to dance or drink but this time it was different. josh's wedding was amazing...very traditional and as des, nancy, grace and me sat in a row i could hear sniffling all around. someone please pass me a tissue while i look behind to see jon, james and victor loh secretly laughing at us. i've been looking forward to this wedding for so long and just like that...it's over. the first of our warner group is married off. who knew when we spent two summers at warner springs that the legacy would extend this far to get our own picture order after the wedding. dope. see pictures.

it's always great when a group of friends get together and hang out but it's even greater when it's your childhood friends where that level of comfort is just there and i'm completely at ease with myself. the warm fuzzy feeling you get inside just because you know these are your bestest and closest friends and we all know how our group functions. i love it. we never really used to hang out that much back in high school or college due to distance reasons but now everyone is essentially back. at least for now anyways. and to think we all met through our parents. i guess those saturdays at chinese school and parent parties on saturday nights really did pay off.

and now a disclaimer for the pictures from clubbing at backbeat. it would seem from jon's captioning that i was the only one drunk but no no that is not the case. if you look carefully you can see vic wang also puking up by the wall although this wouldn't really explain me hanging halfway out the window puking while des drove. but as long as the puke doesn't get on my car, that's all that really matters.

thanks for a great weekend guys and see you in vegas in 3 weeks.

i met with a financial planner today and i'm now a savvy investor in a mutual fund. go me. who knew that at age 24 i would need a financial planner but i guess that isn't so rare these days. as i was thinking of referrals for the guy and asking around i found out that lots of people have their own personal planners. who knew. as i was sitting there i was almost embarrassed by how little money i have to show for my three years in the working world but now i feel as if i have a sense of direction. or at least i know how much to put aside every month and where to put it.

previously my finances or lack thereof were managed by ex-boyfriends and then when the relationship didn't work out it was relegated to my dad and then it just sat there for over a year. even with them charging me quarterly inactive fees wasn't incentive enough for me to figure out what to do. but now thanks to sabrina i've got my own financial planner. and he's free too. that's the greatest part and he seems to really care but i suppose they all seem as if they do.

he asked me all the normal questions. annual salary? monthly expenses? having no college debt is really great and one shouldn't take it for granted. i never really quite knew until recently how great it is to be debt-free. short-term and long-term goal? hm...i pause. to save as much money as possible i suppose? stupid answer but i don't really have any. he's like are you saving for a wedding or a house and my response is no and no although a townhouse does seem nice. as he calculated how much i needed in my "nest egg" to live comfortably i was quite astounded at the big number he came up with. you expect me to have saved this much money by 65? nuts. the sooner i start the better.

but no worries because i have 41 more years until retirement. yes siree bob. i'll be working for another freaking 41 years assuming nothing bad happens. and if something does, my designated beneficiary is jon. i was actually about to put my mom's name like i always do but he suggested i put a sibling close to my age so now that lucky son of a gun brother of mine will get my life savings. oh wells. could be worse.

but for those of you who live in the bay area or in southern california and would like a financial planner, let me know. what's the harm i say. i've already convinced vu and tri today :) now you?

intelligence in a guy is really hot. but i've only met a few guys in the past that possess that certain kind of aloofness and confidence that i find really attractive for some reason. the he's so smart and everything comes easily to him and he knows it but yet it means nothing to him type. does that make sense? i like it when guys are just innately book smart and can remember facts and pull straight a's without much effort. i can't think of anyone famous as an example at this moment and don't really want to name specifics. but then, there's always that fine line of cockiness that some guys possess that i find very annoying and can't really stand to be around.

why the topic? take this guy at work for example. semi good looking but nothing to turn heads about. but then i look at his resume and wowee. was i blown away. went to cal for undergrad and stanford for grad school. had all these publications and to top it all off, a patent in his very own name. now super achievers like this back in high school or middle school were what i considered to be nerds but now...it's so appealing. right away his attractiveness factor increased by ten fold and me and my co-worker would shyly giggle like little school girls whenever he would walk by. ok...maybe not that latter part but you get my meaning.

sadly for you guys out there, this "trait" comes naturally and can not be taught or learned. and for those of you who possess it, count your blessings cause i'm telling you, your hotness factor increases megafolds. and well, if you don't have it i suggest taking singing or dancing lessons cause that also helps a lot.

i hung out with anna last night. it's not very often that i see michigan people without my other half and strangely i always feel like it'll be really weird for some reason. i can probably count on one hand the number of people i've met from michigan that i'd feel completely comfortable with by myself. hong not included since he's more san diego. but that theory has never really been tested and last night wasn't weird to me at all. quite normal i'd say. i'm not really sure why i have this theory. maybe it's because whenever i meet jon's friends they're always like oh we've heard so much about you or i'm finally meeting jon's twin or your brother is so cute (i got that from girls during his funktion days) that i feel as if i just can't live up to my image.

but that's slowly fading away with the colliding of worlds. for some reason, jon never really meets any of my friends except for the taiwan trip. oh and that one time we went clubbing and i finally brought out girls but besides that i can't really think of anything else. but i think i've met almost all of his friends. i was looking at the ccf pictures from louis's website and i actually remember having met more than half of them my freshmen year in college which was kind of a trip. it's pretty amazing when i stop and think that i've known karina, je-yi, louis, greg and leslie for more than six years. nuts.

i think it's pretty nice that jon and i have most of the same friends and are able to do things together. i guess that's what happens when you're the same age. and with james going to michigan by himself during xmas time and me seeing anna...it just gets better and better.

i've been told by more than one person that i have horrible taste in music. and sadly i'd have to agree. my listening these days usually consist of whatever is on the radio and every so often i'll pop in one of my new chinese cd's that i bought in taiwan but that's about it. i can seriously listen to a cd over and over mainly because i usually only listen when i'm in the car and in that case, it's usually the hip-hop radio station that wins or howard in the mornings, and then in my room, i don't stay there very long with the exception of sleeping so i'm lucky to get through two or three songs.

one would think that now i have my new 6 disc changer inside my car as opposed to the trunk i'd be switching cd's as often as jon does but nope. i've popped in 4 cd's from the time i bought the car and they're still in there. christina aguilera and three of the cd's jon burnt for me. my only exposure to non-radio songs is the old cd's jon no longer wants which he bums off to me but i don't mind. i think it's a waste of money to buy cd's anyways so i'll take whatever i can get. jon's always telling me to listen to the lyrics but truthfully i find it much too tiring and who wants to concentrate that hard while driving. i can never tell what the hell they're saying anyways and it's usually only the chorus that i can catch the words to but even that is sketchy at times.

but over the years i've been exposed to different types of music depending on who i was dating at the time. country (especially line dancing which is very fun!), beautiful south, techno, alice n chains, bon jovi, morrissey, jurrasic 5, john meyer and i've really liked all of them so far with maybe the exception of alice n chains. just can't get into that stuff. maybe there is hope for me yet.

my weekend consisted of watching eight man halo on two tv screens. both saturday and sunday. at first i really couldn't understand why everyone was going so nuts that yes the ethernet cable did work and wow we can hook up two xbox's but by sunday night i was a convert. of course i didn't have much choice since there was nothing else to do while the boys played but i found myself getting sucked in. i'd have to say that my favorite is definitely capture the flag.

i even tried to play and participate in the fun but i think my hand and eye coordination isn't all that great despite all the years of training from jon. i had more trouble with moving myself around and aiming at the people that i couldn't really enjoy the full effects of the game. i played two games and each time i was killed the most and had the least number of kills.

i've pretty much decided that i like simple games with one or two buttons to remember. think virtual tennis. even in street fighter i could never do the "all-u-can" and just used chun-li since her two moves really are the fast kicks and the turnaround swoop. now that both those phases are over i'm hoping that the new dead or alive volleygame game will be my new addiction.

quarterlife crisis. i remember browsing on the web one day and saw a book with that same title "quarterlife crisis: the unique challenges of life in your twenties". i briefly flirted with the idea of purchasing it but after reading some of the excerpts decided it was a bunch of mumbo jumbo and that i didn't need a book to tell me others are going through the same thing. i see it around me everyday.

there was a period after college when i missed everything about it. the freedom, skipping classes, not worrying about getting enough sleep. all that jazz. actually i didn't really do any of that stuff except when i went to visit jon in michigan. only then did i experience dorm life and staying up all hours and although it was fun, i don't think i would of enjoyed 4 years of it. but now , i'm over the phase of wishing i was back in college. don't really have the desire of homework and cramming useless knowledge into my head, not saying that i'm not doing the same thing now but you know what i mean.

sometimes i wonder, am i going through a quarterlife crisis? but i think everyone at this age does. i mainly go on passing time but with no real goals in mind. not graduate school. no motivation to add a few more letters behind my name and plus, i'm not very career oriented. so if my goal isn't work-related what else could it possibly be? the usual i suppose. marriage, kids, house. or i've added a new one to my list...to marry rich.

but in all seriousness, i think i can feel myself getting into the phase of settling down. i think about the "future" a lot more. and in craziness, i actually see shopping for furniture and decorating the house pretty appealing. domestic is me. it may be due to the slew of engagements i learned about recently and the george of one year ago never thought about what her wedding would be like or what kind of ring she would want but now i find myself imagining every once in a while. i'm chopping it all up to quarterlife crisis.

jet-lag is catching up with me. as much as i try to lay still and close my eyes and count sheep...nothing is working. i can only read fast food nation for so long before i get sick of reading about how the frozen fry was invented and how the corporations are again ripping us off. just another confirmation of how much i hate corporate america. one interesting tidbit...did you know that the government can't recall contaminated beef but can recall a defective toaster? how fitting.

so it's my second night back from taiwan. i'm still in a state of limbo as to how the trip will stay with me. first time back since love boat. probably had unrealistic expectations but my days and nights were filled with eating, shopping, mosquito bites, visiting relatives including victor's, more shopping, saw louis and je-yi for a total combined time of 60 minutes, national taiwan university which was one of my highlights actually, and watching endless chinese movies with scrunched down english subtitles that i found rather annoying. not to mention the static on that channel which would make the tv blank out in crucial chinese style dying moments.

the glamour shots i could of done without. took them once before and didn't like them. not too sure why i thought this time would be different but this just futher confirms that yes i do have big cheeks and no i am not photogenic. someone please shoot me if i decide to do them again anytime before i get married. i'm convinced by that time, i'll have matured and my cheeks will have magically disappeared. as jon says, as only an older brother can, "i feel as if your face gets rounder each year". nice.

i always used to say that i would love to go back to asia and live for a couple years but now, i'm not so sure. i'm not sure if it's because i'm older and have more habits or if i'm just spoiled. most likely a mixture of both. little things bother me. first and foremost, the no dryer phenom. i can't stand hanging everything and i do mean everything up to only be taken down when it's cold and hard. i made sure to pack myself enough socks and underwear to last the entire 10 days. besides what's the point of hanging clothes outside when the air is dirty? i feel like febreze may be a better investment at times. moving on. no shower curtain. going pee on a wet toilet? not exactly my cup of tea. my showers were spent being very careful to not let too much water onto the floor, much helped by my short hair. finally. no bathroom counters. i just can't get used to only a sink...where do i put my glasses? my face lotion? on the toilet? but that seems dirty.

for some reason, i didn't seem to have these complaints during love boat. even in the sweltering heat and season of mosquitos. i don't remember getting bitten as much as i did this time (during the winter nevertheless) or being less than enthralled with the communal showers at ocean and chien-tan. oh wait, yes i do. never mind...enid's shower was much nicer. and her house was clean clean clean. no cluttering anywhere. i loved it.

but all in all. it was fun. not as much partying as i was expecting. only went to plush (yes it was on wild on e!) once. could barely breathe due to the barrage of smoke everywhere and ever notice how chinese people bop up and down when dancing? quite amusing. enid was really a great host. felt like i could of gotten in a day or two more of shopping but then i always say that. i was pretty amused by louis's "i love taiwan" mentality. reminded of a little kid in a candy store. even went so far as to wake at 6am to visit chian kai shek memorial by himself on the subway. not bad. oh...the subway system is surprisingly fantastic and orderly.

and now the new year is among us. not too exciting seeing how i slept thorugh the countdown only to awake at 12:15am and watch the replay on tv. now i'm back into my normal routine of work, 11 mandatory hour workdays during busy season, and getting as much catch-eye as i can. joy joy.

this could be my longest blog yet. koodos to you if you've made it this far. the wonders of jet-lag.

i can't sleep. so of course what do i do. watch late night music videos and surf the internet. on a whim of nostalgia i go back and read old emails which probably isn't the greatest idea in the world but basically, certain people or events have designated folders and it's not long before i get to the folder titled "dad".

sometimes friends will ask every once in a while the same old question. have you dealt and come to terms with it? i usually just say whatever i feel like at the moment with a short yes or no answer because truthfully i don't even really know myself and don't care to elaborate. but tonight i re-read all the emails i got in response to the one i sent out and i was pretty amazed at what everyone wrote. true most of it was the same generic stuff that i would write also but just knowing that all these people cared was pretty surprising. i'm not sure why but half of the emails i don't even really remember receiving and reading much less filing away. i really must thank my anal side.

but anyways, on to another topic...now i'm watching christina aguilera's "beautiful" video and i must say, it really is a shame she dresses like a slut now since she is quite talented and her new songs are actually pretty good. for some reason, i'm really drawn to the "dirty" video but come on, cover the butt crack please.

i went to go look at cars over the weekend and the moment i stepped onto the lot, i immediately turned into a shy, intimidated 12 year old. the last time i went car shopping and actually test drove cars was with my dad when i was a freshman in college. one would think that after 4 years of college and 2 years in the workforce i would be a little more confident but nope. i found myself letting chris do all the talking and agreeing with his statements and only answering when questions were directed at me. so you're the one looking to buy a car? uh yes. do you have any questions about the car? uh nope. then i would secretly whisper questions for chris to ask him on the side.

we went to the bmw dealership first and i was so intimidated and caught off guard by the rudeness of the sales staff that we left before even asking for a test drive. not only was i rebuffed once or twice, but three times. once when the guy told me to not look or touch the car on display (go look at the one in the showroom he says). then when chris asked where the 3 series was the guy held up his hand, said hold on and kept on walking. then while we were checking out cars no one came over to talk to us or offer a test drive. i know i look young but still...i'm so tempted to go back with my new car, assuming i get one, and rub it in the dealership's face as chris suggested.

but this whole process has made think about when i'll start feeling like an "adult". even at 24 i still feel as if i act and think like a kid. i see others who are either younger or the same age as me who seem so much more grown-up and i wonder, when will i become like that? i don't go to nice restaurants to eat or sit and drink wine and chat with my friends. most of the activities i do indulge in haven't changed much since college. clubbing, video games, boba runs. in less than a year, i'll be a person that is a quarter of a century old stuck with a teenager mentality. maybe i'll just wake up one morning and be magically transformed.

i want a dog. when i saw this picture i was like ohhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhh (can't beat the lambdas baby) but no really. my future husband must be dog friendly. it's pretty pointless for me to get one now, besides the fact that vu hates them, since i'm never home and don't think i'd have the patience to potty train it or take it on walks but when i'm more domesticated, i definitely want one. growing up jon and i were never allowed to have pets (or i should say, any pets not contained in a cage) and there are its advantages. our house never had dog hair. we were able to decorate with glass figurines and not worry about breakage. but even so, i'm getting one hopefully before i turn 30.

i used to want a bulldog but after some research i decided it's not for me. grace is getting one anyways so i'll just play with hers and dog sit if necessary. now i don't know what i want anymore. something big enough i can sleep with without worrying about crushing it, but then small enough for me to still think it's cute. have you noticed most dogs lose its charm after it's full grown? it's too bad we can't lease puppies because i don't think i'd mind trading for a new puppy every 2 years before it turns old and ugly. oh, and no drooling. that is a definite no-no.

i went to eat dinner with josh yesterday and besides getting some of the wedding details for my "in the loop" buddy nancy ( i would link her here but she no longers blogs) we started talking about work, happiness and christianity of course. he's been pulling some hellish hours for the past couple of weeks (6am - 10pm daily) but yet his attitude was pretty amazing. i don't want to make this blog about religion, i'll save it for another time, but i found myself asking him all sorts of questions about how and when and why. i'm really not into religion or ever have been but lately i've noticed most of them all have this aura of calm and peace about them which really appeals to me.

for the past couple months now it seems all i do is complain about work and i hate it. not the work itself although that too but more the person i am becoming. no motivation. no energy. no zest for life if you will. and i don't think i'm the only one who feels this way. i honestly think i'd be much happier with a job where i won't need to work so many hours or worry about deadlines and budgets and if that means i'd be making less money...that's ok with me too. as my friend said it feels as if you're making even more money since you work less hours and are really able to do the things you want to do and life is about so much more than work. now the only problem is what i want to do.

but then again, my other thinking is either jon or i will hit the lottery, win it big and then i won't need to be in this dilemma and am able to sleep in till whenever.

every may and november a dark cloud looms over my head as the cpa exam rolls around. i took the exam again yesterday and to the all asked question did you pass? i'd have to say no but it's not a big surprise considering i only cracked open my book once. everytime it gets around this time the thought of studying always seems to plague me but this time around i had even less motivation to study than before. sure everyone keeps telling me to get something out of public accounting and it's a waste to stop now since you're more than halfway there to be certified but none of these reasons have struck a chord in me. none of them have made a light bulb go off in my head or motivate me to open those darn books.

what i'm missing i really don't know. do i want to be certified? sure it's nice on the resume but i could really care less now. i've pretty much determined the only reason why i keep signing up everytime and wasting my money is for three letters. m-o-m. she doesn't really bring up the topic much anymore but on those times when she would ask if i've been studying and my answer would always be no i could hear a little sigh of disappointment.

but alas i think me sitting for the exam yesterday instead of just skipping it entirely and going shopping (which i've done twice before) did me some good. the exams are a throwback to SAT days. sitting in a big room with little bubble sheets in front of you. raising your hand to go to the bathroom and getting a pass only to have someone monitoring the restrooms in fear we'll pass answers on to each other. no talking allowed! me waiting the two hours to be over so i can leave. but all this for some odd reason has made me feel a little more motivated to study the next time around. maybe it's because i found the tests doable if i've only studied. i'm just hoping this new wave of motivation will last until next may or november.

i got my first feedback on ebay yesterday. "Smooth transaction, quick payment, a great ebayer" it said. imagine my elation. i couldn't believe it. finally i don't have a zero next to my name. finally i have some if very small clout when bidding. i love it. i can see why ebay could potentially be so addicting. i've been scouring listings for the past couple weeks for my sega "official" dreamcast gun. it must be official. i won't accept any others. i won my first one a couple weeks ago but the person never responded to any of my emails. i sent email after email after email and my final one ended with "if i don't hear anything from you soon i'll be forced to leave negative feedback". but in fear of getting negative feedback myself and gasp! being in the negatives, i chickened out. it's amazing how assertive i can be over email. but now i don't have to worry. i won another one and i'm no longer a zero.

i've even learned some tricks of bidding too. the most important being never bid until the last minute. i even wrote down the time my auction ended in my planner so i could make sure i was near a computer. it's all quite tricky. you can't do it too soon because then you might get oubid at the last minute but then you don't want to do it too late in case your computer freezes. tragedy. one must take all scenarios into consideration.

now i just need one more gun to complete my pair and in the meantime i'm anxiously awaiting the arrival so i can start playing my games.

i've pretty much determined that from here on out, it really is a necessity for me to have my own bathroom. and even better if it's connected to my room. ever since i moved up to san jose i've really been quite lucky to have my own bathroom connected to my room at each one of my places. for some odd reason, i've been having to wake up in the middle of the night to pee a lot. and this is what has led to my conclusion. it's so easy to just roll out of bed and walk half blind and crawl back in... but imagine if you shared with someone else. you'll have to put on a sweater and glasses and hope they don't come out of their room at the same time.

my luck with bathrooms really has been quite extraordinary. when i was younger i only had to share with jon and since my mom was a neat freak i could count on the cleaning lady coming in every so often to clean out the dirty stuff. now you're probably thinking, but jon is so into being sanitary. alas, that is not true. but only when he's living at home i've determined. i've never seen him clean our bathroom with the fervor he did at avalon. even i was quite amazed when i went to visit and had to report back to my mom. i'm sure she was glad to know her clean genes have rubbed off on both of us.

but when i think of the times i had to take showers in the dorm room at michigan i really do cringe. the worst is when you go after a girl and they still have their wet hair hanging on the walls. or when there are hardly any lights like the ones at ocean during love boat and you just try to soap and shampoo as quickly as possible. i even used to take showers at the gym but now i would never do that. it's really just not sanitary or appeasing.

currently there's a housekeeper that comes in to clean the place every month and last time she was here vu said she wanted extra money because my room is so hard to clean. i was quite offended by that. i didn't think my room was that dirty. i even asked grace and samuel when they were here visiting and she had to concur with my sentiments. my room and bathroom is no dirtier than anyone else's. and that is final.

our place just got a little better. vu bought a ps2 last week so now we have that, my dreamcast and the xbox that makes an occassional appearance every now and then. i still haven't found a game i like as much as virtual tennis but i've taken a little break from that for now. for those who are wondering, i lost at the video game tournament but in my defense it was a really close game. the first set even went to tie-breaker. at least i was able to back up my trash talking a little bit and i'm learning to not cuss as much when i play. it's not ladylike.

and just two weeks ago i was informed that we now get all the pay-per-view channels but somehow it wasn't working this weekend but vu said he would take care of it. it's nice having someone who's tech savvy as your roomate. can't get online? ask vu. the printer isn't working? ask vu. pay per view isn't working? ask vu. then it's all fixed by the time i get home. it's quite nice i tell you. once when the internet wasn't working i attempted to try to fix it myself since vu was out of town and i kept switching blue cables around and turning stuff off and on but nope nothing worked. so i just waited till vu got home.

but now that we have all these video game systems, dumplings in the freezer and free movies 24/7, i see myself becoming even more of a couch potato than i am now. i truly am addicted to the tv. sometimes i watch the same show twice just because there's nothing else good on. the past couple weeks, i got all caught up my howard stern episodes, trading spaces, and any e! or mtv shows. heck, this past weekend i went home friday night and didn't venture out again until sunday afternoon. and now the ps2 and pay per view gives me even less reasons to leave the house. uh oh.

i'm listening to "say i yi yi" by the ying yang twins right now and everytime i hear it it makes me want to do situps. one of my instructors for kickboxing always does this 10 minute ab workout at the end and she's been using this song the last two times i've gone to class. it's really quite catchy. our routine goes arm up other arm up elbow to knee other elbow to knee and zigzag on down. or something to that effect. when i first heard the song i couldn't quite make out what the lyrics were so i thought they were actually saying knee and elbow and i was quite impressed with how everything fit together. but of course i was wrong. who can understand what they're saying anyways. sometimes we do this kicking sequence to no doubt's "hella good" and that song always gets me pumped up too. that and "family affair" by mary j blige are my current get me pumped up music.

"It has been this author's observation that Asian girls have a tendency to "put out" to guys more quickly than women of other ethnicities. I have seen girls that offer to have sex on first and second dates or just go straight to third base on the first date. Given our culture, this is not something that would seem incredibly unusual since our cultural programming constantly bombards us with images of sex. The new show on Fox about people living in dorms portrays sex as something that is easy to get and that women running around in their bras is normal in college. This is the kind of mentality that permeates our senses from magazines, movies and TV. Despite this, it seems like Asian girls put out more often than white ones, which is probably because Asian girls suffer from lower self-esteem for reasons which I will specify."

intrigued? read the entire article.

so i was at kickboxing class last night and i hadn't seen my instructor for quite a while, a couple months actually seeing how i fell off my workout routine almost as soon as i started it, but i digress...i saw her and it struck me how good she looked. now she had always been in shape but today in particular she looked so much leaner and i could see muscles popping out of her back and biceps that i never noticed before. this quite befuddled me as how is it possible for her to get this fit in three months? but then halfway through the class i realized what it was...she was tan!

now i've always heard that you look skinnier and more toned when you have a tan but wow...i never realized how much it actually helps. it's amazing. heck everyone should get a tan. or well i would imagine most people living in california has one but i'm still waiting for the summer when my face, arms and legs will all be one color. as i get older all my mom's paranoia about being in the sun seems to have rubbed off on me as well. i'm much more reluctant to just sit out in the sun and tan besides the fact that it's probably one of the most boring things to do. i suppose i could use those self-tanners but it seems like too much trouble for something that is only temporary.

but...my miracle has arrived. anna told me yesterday about this machine that sprays self-tanner on you and it comes out even. can you imagine? you walk in this little booth and then boom, you walk out and you're all one color. this is certainly the best invention i've heard of in quite some time. now if i can only find one in the san jose area.

what is it with guys liking girls with long hair? i've never really noticed this until i cut my hair short and all i hear these days now is awwww you can't put it into a ponytail anymore. or when are you going to grow it back? or the worst, you look like a little boy. uh yes send more compliments my way please. and no, this blog is not a hidden plea for them. i guess if i was a guy i can see the appeal of long hair but i wonder, why are guys so against short hair in the first place? you can still play with it but there just isn't as much to play with i suppose. it still smells good and well, what else is hair for really? not much.

maybe it's the image of the hot girl coming out of the water with her long hair swishing side to side ingrained in their minds. think baywatch. or maybe it's the versatility that comes with long hair. one day it can be straight, the next curly, then pigtails. the list is endless. and we know how guys like surprises.

one thing is for sure, with short hair i've become a chia pet. or at least i feel like one. more aunts and uncles and even some of my friends have been known to just come up and rub my hair for no apparent reason but oh well, i'm not complaining.

today marks my two year anniversary with work. has it really been two years since i've graduated college already? it really did seem to go by fast. in the past two years i think i've learned a couple things not only about myself but about corporate america in general. for one, i know i made the right decision in moving to san jose because i really do like it up here and i've learned that things won't fall apart when i'm on my own. sure it's always nice to have support to fall back on and i still always will in my mom but with the the event of last year when i lost someone who was undoubtfully my strongest support and believer i've felt at times i was in free-fall but yet i'm still here and chugging along.

often times i still feel as if i'm in college since i really wasn't expecting to meet and make so many great friends, some lifetime friends, who are all in the same situation as me. fresh out of college, new to the city, beginning first job and so willing to just hang out and well, have fun. without them, my life up here really would be miserable. sure i went through the post college depression of "college is the best time of your life" but i'm really enjoying post-college life more. i don't need to worry about exams, deadlines, and pulling all nighters. now i only pull all nighters when i go out clubbing and after work is over, that time is mine. for the most part anyways. and of course, another big bonus...i actually have money now but i don't do all that much since i'm pretty frugal but you get my meaning.

a couple things i've learned or experienced within the past two years:

1. everyone who has an office job is on aim. i never used to be on this thing but sadly it's now become an integral part of staying in the loop

2. the first two years isn't as bad as everyone said during recruiting. it's actually starting the third year that the hours become nuts on a consistent basis

3. more layoffs than i ever thought i would see in my lifetime

4. laziness. when i first started, i was quite excited and determined to be the good little worker but well, now my motivation is quite low. now i just look forward to weekends.

5. this one isn't quite work related but i've been pretty lucky in finding nice and normal roomates online. you wouldn't believe some of the people i met

it seems as if more and more people around my age these days are getting engaged. first was reina who got married last november and my godsister jessica was married in august. now helen's wedding is coming up in november and charlie's wedding is thanksgiving time but wait...it doesn't stop there. josh is engaged, jen just got engaged about a month or so ago and this past weekend stacy got engaged. what is going on?

i'm not sure about anyone else but i don't feel anywhere close to being ready to get married. i still feel as if i'm a kid although i've been told otherwise by my mom. "helen and jessica have got the right idea in getting married...you need to start thinking about the future." uh what? i'm only 24. i still like to think i have some time before i need to start thinking about this stuff but then when people start doing the backwards timeline thing (you know, get married by this age, engaged for 1 year, date for at least 2 years which all leads up to i should have met my future husband a couple of years ago), i feel as if i may be running out of time.

but then i look around me and lots of my friends aren't engaged and based from what i know, won't be for a while. that is a comforting thought to me since i don't see what the rush is. maybe if i wanted kids i'd be more worried but for now, i'm sitting on the fence on that one too. i remember watching this birthing video in sex-ed class in 6th grade and ever since then i haven't had any urge to have kids. plus, all they do is cry the first couple years and when they're finally old enough to take care of themselves, they end up hating you and giving you more stress.

my main reason now for even wanting kids is just out of curiosity. to see what they would look like. that would be kind of interesting but probably not the best reason. maybe i can just be content with being an aunt but then again jon is still too busy philosophizing on whether he wants kids or not. hm... i guess my mom being a grandmother as of this point is not looking too great.

i'm not sure why or how it got started but i think somehow and somewhere i've gotten the reputation of being a drunk. when i tell people i wasn't drunk on my birthday and in fact do remember everything, they seem shocked and then disappointed. hm...i think the last time i was outright drunk and puking was in january and after that, no more. the smell of hard alcohol alone can make my stomach queasy.

this blog is a bit late but i just wanted to thank everyone who sent e-cards, voicemails, text msgs and came out to dinner and clubbing. i think it topped last year merely for the fact that i didn't pass out and was able to walk myself out of the club. my tolerance held up quite well considering all the drinks everyone was buying me and no sooner had i taken one did i have another one coming. i think i was at that perfect stage where i was happy tipsy but still knew what i was doing. some highlights of the night would be cage dancing with the angels, eating ramen afterwards at enid's, skipping and singing to the car with curtis, but the topper would be bren breaking his key. i won't even go into it here but this year instead of one sacrificial lamb like last year there were two. recurring curtis and the new addition bren. thanks to poor duy who had to drive us home and to enid who had to take care of all three of us once again.

but i think everyone had a good time and sadly only one more year before i'm a quarter century old. scary.

we won! our reign as number one doubles team for virtual tennis holds true. we finally beat the game and got our trophy at the end. i can't believe it. and on my birthday too. what a great present. you don't understand, i've been trying to beat the game for the longest time but i'd always get stuck at the third level with rafter and pioline at tokyo, japan but tonight...i played the game of my life. i was unstoppable...smashing in their faces and returning shots that seemed impossible. and my only witness is bren.

so the hour i turn 24 i'm not out getting drunk or puking as many of you think, i'm sitting at home playing dreamcast and finally...mission accomplished. this was the perfect ending to my night.

i got tonsilitis again over the weekend. this would make it the third time in less than six months. pretty ridiculous if you ask me. each time i get the same symptoms right beforehand...a burning fever, dizziness, and a swollen spot on my throat. whenever i even get the inkling that it might be tonsilitis i make a doctor's appt. i'm that paranoid just because the last time i got it i was so sick i couldn't eat or do anything for two days. but this time it wasn't so bad. i popped my antibiotics as instructed and my tylenol every four to six hours for the fever and i feel as if i'm almost new. new enough to hang out with my one syllable friend group again as vi, eric, lynn and xuan came up to play.

i asked my doctor friday about the possiblity of getting them removed and all he said was "well your tonsils are quite small so i'm not sure why you're getting it so much". not quite sure what that means but i was too sick to argue but i'm going back friday and i think i'll have to put my foot down and ask to be referred to a specialist. in a nice way of course because i'm non-confrontational. then it's waiting for my mom to do some "research" with her doctor friends and hopefully i'll be eating ice-cream for a couple days. i guess that wouldn't be too bad.

i went to my first baseball game at pacbell park yesterday. one down in my mental list of places to visit. baseball games live are much more fun than when watched on television. between me getting there late and the game only lasting for eight innings (apparently if the home team is winning, they don't need to play the last inning), getting my food and finding our seats, the game was over before i knew it.

i was seating in the bleachers and i've never heard so much heckling during a game. the whole night it was teeeeeeeeeeeeeemo, teeeeeeeeeeeeemo and the chant why don't we like timo? because he's a bum! or something like that. it was all quite entertaining.

but the big disappointment of the night was the food. i was so excited to have a real baseball stadium hot dog but the chili dog i got just didn't cut it, the gilroy garlic fries were blah, and something called the cha cha bowl was a waste of $8.50. they didn't even have the dove ice cream bar stands. only ben and jerry's.

next time i'm just getting a regular hot dog with ketchup and onions.

snow bubbles. it's now my new favorite boba drink. any flavor. i've tried mango (the best), peach, and chocolate. wow. it was actually tom that told me about this new boba place, sweetea, that opened up near where i live. i thought it would be exactly like q cup which it essentially is but since it was closer, i decided i needed to test it out. am i ever glad i was feeling adventurous and deviated away from my usual order. i'm not sure what's it in it or how they make it but it's so good. the mango one is like an orange julius with boba. the chocolate basically tastes like melted chocolate ice-cream but that is ok with me too. what more can you ask for?

for those that haven't tried, they're having a buy two get one free deal since it's their grand opening. i HIGHLY recommend the mango snow bubble. get the point yet? mango snow bubble. but this time i'm determined to not go too often like i did with q cup and its mango icy to the point now where i no longer crave them.

my weekend of fun is over. a mini-reunion of my friends with mostly one syllable names took place the past two days. vi, xuan, eric came up from la and fullerton. loc flew down from seattle and lon, vu, tri, and yuan from san jose. friday night was ibiza. i really have become an ibiza whore. i think i've gone to ibiza six times the past two months but then again, who's counting. it's still a great club. then saturday was vu's famous ribs and oysters. if only the weather wasn't so hot but still...i'm pretty sure everyone had a great time. vicky, caro, enid, duy, caly, clayton and jimmy all came and i even got to meet several of vu's friends and co-workers. the most important event though, before i forget, was me and bren beating (by a lot but who's gloating) vi and eric in virtual tennis. as they say, practice does make perfect. and to think vi was so sure he'll win...wimbledon player i think not.

the sad part is that whenever i hang out with a large group of people for a couple of days, inevitably the minute they leave i get this lonely feeling inside and whatever happens, i just don't want to be left by myself. as i sat on the stairs watching all the clothes and backpacks and pillows slowly disappear, i realized that i really do have an issue with being alone. just can't do it. i rarely like to be home alone or if i am, i like knowing that someone at least is on the way over. i think i've blogged about this before but either way, i don't feel like dwelling on it or figuring out why that is so i won't. very mature of me don't you think?

all in all...another great weekend with clubbing, barbecue, good vietnamese food and of course the vietnamese coffeeshops. at least the one up here plays music videos for me to watch.

so my excitement to see brooke burke last night didn't happen. i guess victor, hong and james will remain the only ones to have seen her in person. wild on e! was at velvet lounge last night for a drink club event and so i decided, if i am ever to see what the hype surrounding drink club is, might as well go on a night when brooke burke will be there. if i had only known she gave birth a couple weeks ago...but oh well. it was still a pretty fun night. the place was packed as expected, the air was stifling hot until i could barely breathe with no in's and out's, and lots of asians bumping into me as i was trying to dance or just walk to the bathroom. but the night wasn't a total loss. i saw quite a few people there. jay, liman, hubert from love boat. nancy's friend jeff. saw jack and his girlfriend, and even saw my grace's cousin melissa there. even tom from work went although he's always claiming he's too old for clubbing.

even though it was a fun night, i don't see how people can go out late on a workday. maybe i'm getting old but i was so tired this morning and got in to work late and then i kept falling asleep on the drive home last night. but then again not everyone lives a hour away. either way, it was a typical asian night out and for once, there were more girls than guys at the club.

all of the sport teams i've rooted for in the past have been dependent on who i was dating at the time. with stan, it was miami dolphins. go dan marino! another time i had a crush on some guy who lived in new york so i liked the new york giants. that's how i found out who lawrence taylor was. then i went through a dallas cowboys period although i can't remember why but i'm pretty sure it didn't have anything to do with a guy. oh wait, yes it did. i think i liked them because jon liked deion sanders so i liked him too. then i went through my san francisco 49ers phase with steve young for no particular reason and chris was a diehard kansas state wildcats fan but i don't know any of their players.

one year jon even got me to play fantasy basketball which actually proved to be quite fun. of course i would just get van to pick the team members and then each morning i'd run to the newspaper and dutifully track down my scores but who cares. my surprise star turned out to be keith van horn who to this day i have no clue what he looks like. i also remember going on a roadtrip once with my family and jon kept quizzing me about different basketball and football teams and making me remember which city went with what team name and naming one player for each team. i think i did quite well but now with everyone on different teams my knowledge is useless.

now i'm starting to get into baseball. just a little though. i like the oakland a's because they're young and the pitcher was featured on "life" on espn and he seemed down to earth. i also like watching ishii of the dodgers pitch but my favorite player is ichiro. me and a million others i'm sure but who cares. i don't mind being called a bandwagon jumper. and i know bonds is one swing away from his 600th homerun.

my biggest find though is tony gonzalez. he was on "life" this week and who knew he was so good looking. hopefully he'll be in the nba and then he'll be on tv all year round. not like i'm that into sports to watch really but i guess i can see why guys are addicted to it especially once you learn more about the players themselves.

my my...asian males have such a bad rep...another tidbit i found recently that was interesting.

"Asian males are shy and nocturnal and are most often spotted (and therefore best picked up) at pool halls, basketball courts, Banana Republic, import auto shows, Bellagio (aka Avaron), and asian parties. They are typically fearless of women when boasting amongst their friends but are rarely seen actually approaching any. Typical courting habits include bumping and grinding random women on the dance floor but then failing to follow up with conversation and invitation for a date or even back to their place. On the rare occassion that a connection is made AIM screen names are exchanged and online flirting initiated a couple days later. Often listed under typical category names such as "hoochies" or "breezies" the asian male will pad his list with his sisters and or cousins in order to make his list... "

i seem to have a problem with locking my keys in my car. i was supposed to go meet jack for lunch and as i'm walking to the elevator, i realize my keys are missing. i knew instantly...it's in my car. and lo and behold, there it was, dangling in the ignition. no worries since this has happened to me before and unfortunately it seems to be a regular occurence.

about a month after i moved up to san jose, i was out at a bar, got drunk and proceeded to lose all my keys. for the next couple of days, chris had to come pick me up for work and i had to ask my mom to fedex me my spares. since then, they've proved to be quite handy.

another time i left my keys in la and didn't realize it until i reached the airport so i had to spend the night at enid's, take her to work with her car, drive to my roomate's work and get her key to the apartment before i could get my spares. then a couple weeks ago i locked my keys in my car again while i was at bren's house and vu had to come save me. and now today...once again. vu had to find my spares and bren had to bring it to me at work.

i think from now on i'll keep a spare key in my purse...let's just hope i never lock my purse in the car. knock knock don't jinx myself.

the simpsons. for years everyone has been telling me what a great show it was and finally i think i get it. every once in a while howard stern has this guy on who talks about shows that have "jumped the shark" and simpsons was one of the few shows to not yet have done so. even after 10+ years in primetime. well, now i can understand why people like it so much. for the past couple weeks i've been watching a couple of simpsons reruns each night before i go to sleep and i have to admit, it's growing on me. a lot. i'd have to say ralph is my favorite character just because he is so darn cute but homer is up there with how dumb he is. i've probably gone through about 40 episodes so far with about a gazillion to go but i'll get there. this along with virtual tennis will be my new current obsessions.

by the way, ever since my last post everyone has wanted to play and beat me in tennis. let me just say for the record that i did say that i wasn't all that great so please stop gloating when you win. it makes me mad. haha. yes, i do get very upset when i play. i cuss and want to slam my controller down. i'm a potty mouth as vu says. oh well. i must get it from jon. he is the one who taught me to play video games.

virtual tennis 2002 on dreamcast. it's my new favorite video game. me, sanford, bren, and curtis played it for hours yesterday. doubles. the only constant, whoever happened to be my partner was inevitably on the losing team. i think the longest match i lasted for was 11 minutes and the shortest was 6 minutes. but it was great fun. i got so excited and nervous that i started sweating quite profusely and my heart beat a little faster after each game. i've pretty much decided that guys in general are better video game players than girls. or maybe it's just i don't know many girls who play video games. all the same, i was the worst of the lot but i will be training during my free time. one of these days, i intend on beating curtis and his tricky lob shots.

i met up with josh yesterday for boba which is a pretty big treat in itself considering in the year and a half i've lived here, i have yet to see him once. but this reunion of sorts was different. he was an engaged man. after the usual catch-up talk, we started reminiscing about the warner crew. first helen got engaged and will be getting married later this year. now josh is engaged and will be married early next year. i still can't believe how fast times have gone by. sure everybody says that but it really is true. i can still remember when all of us would be sitting around the table talking about how weird it would be when we all left for college. now almost everyone has graduated, is working and the next step will be engagement and then marriage. and before long, that soon will breeze by.

i was telling josh how the warner group has kept in touch a lot more now that we're further away. or at least that's the way it seems to me. jimmy is off in never never land. jon, nancy, victor wang are in san diego. grace, james, victor are in la. And me, e-ming, josh and helen are up here. we've been talking about wanting a warner reunion for the longest time but realistically speaking, i think the next time we'll all be getting together is at josh's wedding. or at least i hope so. it's in san jose so you're all welcome to stay at my place. a very early invitation.

what's the point to my blog? i don't really have one except to say that since i've moved up here and been on my own, i realized how important it is to have great friends. i thought everyone had this but i'm slowly finding out that that is not the case and that i should be grateful. take for instance the other night when a bunch of us got together at q-cup, which by the way if you ever go, get the mango icy! yum yum. we didn't do much but it was nice to be surrounded by vu, tri, yuan, enid and a smattering of others to just chit-chat. hm…i better stop now. i think this heat wave may be making me sentimental.

it's official. my move to party central los angeles has been postponed. for how long...who knows. at least a couple more years. my lifetime dream of living with grace will just have to wait. although i think this may have been our only chance. the g & g household. how much fun that would of been. and she says she's gotten cleaner too...i'll just have to wait and see. going out and getting silly drunk with victor has also been put on hold. visiting james's new apartment so he can torture me with his snake...on hold. no more rooming with vi and eric and going to vietnamese coffeeshops to watch them oogle at naked girls.

but on the flip side...the party crew lives on a little bit longer. the angels will still be together although we did lose our charlie who left us for the marriage life. so for now, come visit me up at party central san jose. vu and i are excellent hosts. he'll cook you oysters and even pop them for you. they're quite yummy.

it's amazing to me how some people can sculpt and mold their bodies at their desire. well, i've actually only known one possibly two people who could do this but still...i'm in awe. i equate it to actors gaining and losing weight for a part at their whim or bulking up for a role like tony maguire did for spiderman but i mean, they're getting paid millions to do this not to mention their own personal trainer and hours of time to devote to working out.

i wonder what it's like to be so in tune with your body that you know exactly what you need to do to achieve the desired results. take chris for example. first it's i wanna bulk up and get big. couple months later...goal accomplished. then it's i want to get get less bulky and more cut...couple months later...done. i wish i could be like that.

i've pretty much determined that i don't have the discipline to get in tip top shape. although the workout jar is helping me in getting to the gym somewhat consistently. thanks vu :) so for now, my goal will be to get toner and be able to run without gasping for breath like a pathetic 60 year old. come back to me in about two years. we'll see how far i get.

i've been pondering this topic for a while now but just never really had time to blog about it. banana relationships. what is the big deal. from someone who can speak from personal experience, to all asian guys, get over it. there's plenty of reasons why we (i'll take it upon myself to speak for the asian female race) find white guys attractive. now i'm not one of those who will only date white guys. far from the truth. just ask jon. but really...i can see why asian girls would find white guys more attractive. these days, i find that to be the norm now surprisingly. or maybe it's just the girls i've been meeting. a couple of reasons why...

one. they're not skinnier than us.
two. they're not shorter than us.
three. they actually have some balls and speak out instead of bitch silently in their head.
four. they don't spend all their money on cars (ok, this one i don't really care about but a nice even number sounded better)

i equate it to all or most asian guys want to date one white girl in their life. when my friends found out i was living with four white girls before, heck i've never had so many friends wanting to visit. this doesn't bother me. more power to you if you're able to snag one.

i also take offense to what the author wrote below.

75% of the time that white guy is diggin you because you're exotic. You're submissive. You're a sex slave. You don't speak up. You know your place. You're a trophy.

There's a running joke that white guys can't tell the difference between an ugly Asian girl and a pretty Asian girl. That as long as they've got the silky black hair and slanted eyes, that's good enough for them. For the most part, this is true.

i notice that when i used to tell people for the first time that my boyfriend lived in kansas, the next question is always, "is he white?" affirmative. then their attitude toward me changes a little. come now, why should it even make a difference?

ok. i think i've done enough rambling for the day. for my asian guy friends who are reading this, don't take offense. you know i love you.

i had a really scary dream last night. i dreamt that someone was strangling me and at first, i remember just staring at the person in disbelief and then slowly i started to lose consciousness and terror swept over me. the dream felt so real. i tried screaming for help, i distinctively remember trying to scream vu's name but nothing came out. visions of dying flashed through me and finally...i woke up. but honestly my throat hurt as if someone had been strangling me. i broke out into sobs upon wakening and couldn't stop for the longest time. i haven't had one of these realistic dreams since when i don't even remember and haven't experienced this feeling of terror in quite some time. i can still remember how scared i was and how much my neck and throat hurt once i woke up. i hope this doesn't mean anything. knock knock on wood.

training in sf. what i thought would be a relatively boring week of classes turned out to be more fun than i expected. class was easy...my instructors were hella (this is for you brian) laidback and one of them actually partied more than we did. met some cool people from the la office but the big event was that wednesday night me, enid and caro all got drunk at sno-drift. together. this has never happened before. me getting drunk i think everyone has seen. but caro and enid? heck they hardly ever drink much less go clubbing these days. on top of all that, i was freaking. enough to the point where i am still sore two days later. and anyone who knows me knows my sentiments on that. don't invade my bubble. i hate freaking.

but it was lots of fun. very good hip-hop music and kind of a thuggish crowd with guys showing up in bandanas and hooded sweatshirts. but who cares. one thing all three of us noticed though was that everyone was so short. i swear i felt like i was towering over everyone. guys and girls alike. they must not have drank milk when they were younger.

and oh...i lost my driver's license. i think it fell out of my pocket when i was freaking. bummer but thank goodness my mom sent up my passport. it's off to ibiza tonight :)

the workout jar. how i rue the day when i agreed with vu what a great idea it would be. i thought for sure it would motivate me to go to the gym on a consistent basis but now, three weeks into the idea and $12 poorer, i kick myself for not knowing better. i am the worst at working out consistently.

the premise: we have to workout at least 4 times a week and for each missed workout it'll cost $2. that's it. who would think it would be so hard to go to the gym just four times a week. i mean, i only need to go for a minimum of 20 minutes each time and i have seven days to choose from. i started out really strong but now, at the end of each week, i sadly put my money in the jar while vu's sits empty.

really...it's a lose lose situation for me since he works out more than four times as it is. and each time i miss a workout i can just see his grin counting the money he's collecting. but hopefully this soon will all stop. i intend to hop back on the wagon starting next week. or uh, i mean the week after.

hit me baby one more time...yes yes...britney spears. she's hot...she's a good dancer...what's not to love about her. me, curtis, enid and yuan all went to her concert last night and contrary to what everyone says...she was really good. sure she was lip syncing but who cares. what else do you expect when you're running around dancing in skimpy little outfits? she looked good, sounded good, had cool pyro-technics and laser lights...i was thoroughly entertained. well worth my $200. why we got tickets for that much is another story in itself but i don't care to get into it. let's just say i was a little too eager and bought the tickets WAY early. sorry again guys...last time i'll say it. i promise.

i was half expecting us to be surrounded by teeny boppers but surprisingly, i didn't feel that old. curtis and i were dancing in our seats and when she stripped, curtis jumped out of his chair and yelled i love you britney. if anyone has ever watched the vegas dvd, remember the water scene at the end? we got to see it live. encore number. ok, i think i'll stop now...i sound like i'm gay or something.

there are some people that are just inherently good and that's a rare quality to find. and even though i know that and know that it's what everyone strives to be or be with, i go and fuck it up. not only fuck it up but doing it with the knowledge that i will probably look back on this in the future with regret. it's like telling a child to not stick their hand on the stove and yet they do it anyways because they want to see for themselves. stupid? most definitely. do people still do it? most definitely. the past couple weeks and days i've seen my own shortcomings and can hardly bear to look at myself in the mirror. all i can do now is learn from this and be grateful that i've met someone like you and know that what you have is what i will continuously strive to be.

small claims court. a place where i never thought i would be but that is where i found myself this morning along with my four ex-roomates. we sued the landlord of the house we were renting for our security deposit. all five of us sitting in a row and the only ones wearing suits. i felt like we were in ally mcbeal or something. the outcome…we ended up not even having to go up to the judge to present our case. before any hearings take place, the deputy tells everyone to go outside and exchange evidence so there's no "surprises" and to try to come to a compromise on our own. surprisingly, we did and got what we asked for. the owner backed down and agreed to our terms. a shame too since we were so prepared with exhibits and everything. not only that but i'm certain we would of won for sure...he claimed he had pictures of damages…he didn't. this certainly was a very enlightening experience for me. a couple things I learned:

one. it pays to not let others dick you over. if it were just me, i probably would of just let him keep the entire deposit and not pursued it and complained about it to my friends
two. never accept the first counter-offer. the owner went from nothing to $800 to $1,000 to $1,500 and a final settlement of $2,000. good thing some of my roomates had balls and wanted to keep pursuing it
three. i'm very fickle. i'd make a horrible juror
four. there's some funny looking people at small claims
five. getting dressed up and wearing a suit sometimes is fun

i can't really claim much credit for this win though. my roomates were the ones who took care of the subpoena, researched various laws and how small claims court works. they basically did everything and i put in my occassional two cents. oh well, i am the asian in the group.

boba. my favorite drink of all time. i could have one everyday if possible. i go through my frequent buyer cards like nothing and a perfect cup of boba can make my day. when the boba is not too soft and a little chewy and the milk tea is not too sweet but just...perfect. i love the big straws, the sealed lids (genius), slurping up the boba, all the different flavors to choose from (although i have to admit, i'm pretty boring and stick with the same ones over and over), the way you have to forcefully puncture your straw the first time into the lid or else you'll get little leaks. i love everything about it.

but now, i have to give it up. for at least two months until my trip to china and taiwan. why? because it's fattening and no good for you. i'm trying to start a workout regimen and vu said that 80% of being in shape is not how much you workout but what you eat. i mentioned this to chris and he said the first thing i needed to get rid of is fast food (which is fine with me since i don't eat it all that much anyways) and boba. if i had known i wouldn't be able to have boba for so long i would of stocked up last week. drank myself silly till i was sick of it.

my one exception though will be for green teahouse when i visit san diego. they have bigger cups than normal places so i must take advantage. i love boba.

there was a 5.2 earthquake last night and like the true californian that i am, i just continued sitting on my couch expecting it to be over any second. but then after it kept on shaking even more the thought of ducking and covering came to me but then i didn't know where to go. the table in the tv room is glass so that would of been no good. i thought maybe a doorway but again, didn't know where to go. of course once i thought about all this the shaking had stopped but i remember learning in my natural disasters class in college that anywhere along the san andres fault is a disaster waiting to happen. great. this coupled with the fact that the earthquake may have just been a precursor to a larger one coming ahead was enough to send me to my bed at 10:15pm with the door locked and the lights on waiting for the worst. being home alone is great sometimes but last night was the pits.

it's amazing how you can be surrounded by friends and yet feel more lonely than ever. and these days, that is exactly how i feel. ever since the day i've felt as if some part of me was missing and i'm still searching for a way or just something...anything... to heal it. but slowly i've come to realize over the past week or so that what i'm looking for will never be found. perhaps i shouldn't say never. one never knows. of course some times are better than others but yet, it's always there. a void that can never be replaced. i find myself in situations where i want to be around people but at the same time i don't. i merely just want their presence. i find myself daydreaming about what ifs and what could have been. i lived in a fantasy world where nothing changed but deep down, i blocked it out. my rock and my stability are gone...and i was never able to realize or appreciate it. that's the hardest part.

i've always wondered what the proper etiquette was for keeping old memorabilia from ex-boyfriends. some people i know just throw everything away which blew my mind because that's some pretty nice gifts there. girls normally receive some type of jewelry like a necklace or bracelet during the relationship and to just throw it away? it's still perfectly good. me...i keep everything. it doesn't even have to be jewelry. one of my favorites was when stan and i finally won the lifesize porky pig from the arcade. it took us forever. going everyday after school just to get our free tokens and playing the same game over and over again. but it was all worth it. of course now it just takes up space in the bathroom but who cares...i get a smile everytime i look at it (remember, if you ever come to visit in san diego, do not pick it up by the head...only under the armpits!)

i keep everything i've accumulated over the years in a box and sometimes if i'm bored i'll go through it and it brings back memories of how cheesy and foolhardy i used to be. not to say all that much has changed over the years.

i went to the doctor yesterday. i have tonsilitis. so now i'm on antibiotics and this syrup thing that knocks me out. i like it...i sleep much better. you should try it adam. i was supposed to get something else to numb my throat so i can swallow better but the pharmacy ran out...oh well...i need to eat less anyways.

i've never felt so horrible or tired after a vacation. it all started when i fell on my way to pizza house my last night in michigan tearing my jeans and got a scrape on my knee. it wasn't very big, evidenced by the fact that chris started laughing when he saw it after hearing all my complaining, but it hurt and it throbbed. a lot. i had trouble tying my shoes, kneeling and walked with a limp for a couple days. then while in kansas i woke up one morning with a 103 degree fever and my whole body ached and i was sweating like crazy. so i drowned myself in advil, took a cold shower and it went away after a couple of hours. then i developed this swollen lump on my neck which still hasn't gone away and it hurts when i swallow. i think i'll make a doctor's appt soon.

chris took me to gardner, kansas today...the place where he grew up. as we're driving by his old neighborhood he kept going wow...this and that wasn't here before. it's so developed now and as i'm looking i just see trees and haystacks and maybe one house every once in a great while. this is developed? then he started telling me how him and his brother used to walk or bike down this 5 mile road just for the hell of it. as you can imagine, there's not much to do in a town like gardner. the funnier thing was when he took me to the next town which is literally like four or five blocks long. you can stand in the middle of the street and look one way and see where the town starts and then turn your head and see where the town ends. there's only one cop, one bar and no malls or movie theatres to its name. i just can't imagine growing up in a town like this. the pace of life here is so slow...i get all antsy just being here. everyone drives 15 mph less than the speed limit and it drives me nuts. and their idea of bad traffic is hilarious in itself...i'm thinking come to cali and see what real rush hour traffic is like. this only further solidifies that california really is the dream place to be.

so i'm playing monopoly with chris and his mom while his dad keeps bringing over different kinds of meat for me to try. elk, deer, buffalo and frog legs. if i had to pick i'd say buffalo was my favorite but i'd rather just stick with regular meat. then he brings over these hush puppies...hush puppies? what are those? i've heard of them but never actually seen or ate one before. chris said it was made out of cornmeal so not wanting to be rude, i try some and they're actually quite good. so i eat some more and as we're sitting down to dinner he kept asking me which one is your favorite? i say buffalo first and then hush puppies. he asked me again...which one is your favorite and i'm thinking didn't you just ask me this? his next words are those aren't really hush puppies they're turkey balls. i freeze. what?? please tell me you're kidding. all the while chris and his parents are dying laughing and i'm still trying to figure out if he's kidding or not. then i take another look at the so called hush puppies and why yes, they're round. i didn't quite know what to do...i had eaten about 10 of them already. so now i can say i've had turkey balls. great. well, all i can say is chris better becareful when we go to china this summer...they do eat some pretty weird stuff over there. maybe jon and i can gang up on him together.

dancemix is over. there's not much more to say that others haven't blogged about. it was nuts how many people flew in. even james and victor was there. i was back in the college mode of sleeping at 7am and waking up in the afternoon...it was great. we basically crammed everything in the weekend i was there. after-party which was a little weird since it's been a while since i've gone to a college one and a fight actually broke out right in front of me while i was waiting in line for the bathroom...lame...didn't really appreciate getting hit either, karaoke with 20+ people crammed into a room...it got so hot i had trouble breathing for a while there but watching martin was worth it...he's hilarious. the only thing was i wished i got a chance to talk to people more. there were so many people all the time you kind of just waved and said hi across the room and that's about the extent of it. i did get to go to connie and chrissy's restaurant for lunch..the bread really is the best i've had in a long time. plus it was nice just to hang out with everyone who had flown out to cali during xmas last year with the exception of suave louis of course...pulled quite a little suprise by showing up. my trip was over way too soon but at least i'm on vacation for another week...off to the land of toto again.

vi took me on my first motorcycle ride today. at first i was scared out of my mind and had butterflies especially when i only wanted to go around the block but we ended up going on the real roads and the freeway even. i felt like we were in a bike club or something because there was me and vi, yuan, lon and rob all on bikes. my favorite part is when we go really fast on a straight-away and my least was when vi started doing s turns for no reason and when we had to lean a lot turning right. i think i screamed a little too loudly and held on a little too tight cause vi said he had trouble breathing but hey, it was my first time. and for some reason, whenever he would brake, i'd knock my helmet against his. oh well…i’ll do better next time.

this weekend was lots of fun though. i finally got a chance to hang out with carolyn and enid and had a girl’s nite out and got caught up with all that’s been going on. vi’s been up here for the past week for training (although he gets out in time to take a nap in the afternoon before i’m even off work…not very much training i’d say) so it was nice having someone over since vu’s been in portland for work. but he came back thursday for the weekend, loc drove up from la and a couple of his friends flew in from seattle just to hang out. it was like a big sleepover weekend. it was great. saturday we went to space 550, the theme was bikini girls due to spring break…it wasn’t that impressive but then again, i'm not a guy. the bathroom and coat check lines were ridiculous, tons of asians of course…we’re just everywhere up here…

then sunday we had a bbq and then at night everybody left. i hate the feeling when you’re surrounded by a ton of ppl and then boom…everyone’s gone. the house is too quiet, i don’t know quite what to do with myself so daniel came over and we watched this horrible chinese movie that vi rented.

and oh, one more thing, there was this guy over the weekend who recently proposed to his girlfriend a couple of months ago…she had a fat engagement ring. it was the nicest i’ve seen…two point something carats total and really shiny. he was telling me how he had to sell his bike and his professional pool table to buy it…and i’m thinking, if i was a guy would i do that? is it worth it? i mean, here she has so much money on one little finger when he could have had more toys to play with. i guess that’s one downer to being a guy. i think if it was me i’d go for the toys but who knows. All the girls were oohing and aahing over her ring though…that must of made him and her feel good.

i can't sleep...this sucks. so i decided that maybe if i blog i'll get tired more easily. daniel came over last night and we were bored so we decided to play with this kit that reads your blood sugar level for people with diabetes. i got it from one of my clients and i was kinda curious as to how their product worked. basically there's this contraption with a needle on the end and you prick yourself and put the blood on the test strip and then boom, your glucose level appears. the selling factor is that it's painless and you don't need as much blood as other testing kits. however, i think there's something wrong with me because it didn't work...not enough blood came out. it worked for daniel pretty quickly though. we tried it three times on my right arm and then twice on my left arm. now that i think back on it it seems pretty dumb to prick yourself over and over again. oh well...it was entertaining...i just hope i don't get little scars.

friday night me, yuan and tri drove down to fullerton...the purpose? club rubber...but we ended up not even going. turned out it was the 6th anniversay that night and it was packed...by 10pm they had reached max capacity and shooed everyone away so we just went back to vi and eric's place and partied there. it was pretty dope complete with laser lights and a fog machine.

but what i really wanted to blog about was these cafes they took me to. first off, this entire weekend was a sausage fest. 13 or so guys and me. so saturday we went to these two coffeehouses where basically the girls wear nothing and walk around serving you drinks. the first one we went to, cafe lu i think, the girls were wearing white bras, white shirt, white skirts, white underwear. see-through everything. they reminded me of those ghosts in scary chinese movies where they always have long black hair, pale faces and red lips...i thought the waitresses were going to take their heads off and start brushing their hair or something. scary.

and then the second place we went to the girls were wearing bikini tops and see through short short white skirts. i just couldn't fathom it...the cafe was basically filled with all guys and all they do is sit around, play chinese chess and stare at these girls. isn't there better things to do with your time? although the green bean shake was really good. i've learned that guys are so easily pleased...i honestly thought i was going to get knocked in the head more than once by this one girl's huge boob job. but it was pretty interesting...i've determined that the only prerequisite you need for working at these places is long hair, big boobs and the ability to walk with huge heels.

this guy is great...i've never heard of a heeby guy and sheebie girl before...i'm still not sure i would be able to identify them but at least i know they exist now.

i called in sick to work today, something that i'm hoping chrissy did too since she's way sicker than i am. i woke up feeling horrible and with a little prodding from tri i decided to just stay home and rest. felt a little guilty at first since it is busy season and we're not really supposed to ever be sick but since my senior had given me permission if i got any worse i figure why not. but then as the day went on i felt much better. have you ever noticed how your cough and fever is always worst right when you wake up? anyways, i realized that staying home all day while everyone else is off working is not very fun. i was bored as hell, watched a ton of tv, slept so much that it was giving me headaches and finally towards the end of the night i was dying to just get out of the house so i went to vicky and clayton's houswarming which was nice since i hadn't seen a lot of those people for a long time. in the future, maybe i should take some pointers from jon on the art of sleeping in and doing nothing. ha...what a low blow on my part :)

the client that i'm on this week is in san francisco. the city city. the commute up takes about 2 hours which is ridiculous. at first it's not so bad driving up but then after i realize that i've listened to an entire cd and then some and i'm still not there...i start getting annoyed. which is about the time i hit embarcadero and the one way streets, the bus and carpool only lanes, the confusing cable car and the pedestrians who won't let me turn. yes i know they have the right of way but there's just so many of them. plus, as if it wasn't hard enough trying to make sure i'm going the right way while reading the street signs and my yahoo maps all at the same time.

it's only my second day here but i just can't see why anyone would want to live in the city. yes it's nice being able to just walk out and grab lunch but parking is horrible, especially if you can't parallel park too well, and it's expensive ($20 dollars a day!). the streets smell like pee and are full of bums, although as i was playing don't step on the cracks with myself, i noticed that the sidewalks have glitter imbedded in them which makes it look quite nice in the sunlight. and i noticed that the business people dress a lot nicer here than in san jose and a lot of girls wear the dark rimmed glasses to make them look smarter...which i decided actually does work. maybe i should invest in a pair. but i'm so glad i chose san jose when i was trying to decide which city to live in and i'm perfectly content with coming up to the city every once in a while to shop around and then at night for the clubs.

friday night i went to go watch paul oakenfold at the backbeat with daniel, curtis and sanford. i've noticed recently that my clubbing circle has shrunk. enormously. everyone else is either burned out or just want to chill...which is good and everything but for some reason, recently, i've been wanting to go every weekend. i'm just glad the "party crew" is always up to go...otherwise where would i be? it was my first time to the backbeat and i was pleasantly surprised that there was such a nice club in san jose complete with plush walls. the even better part is that it is less than 20 minutes from my house. i was pretty excited all week to go watch him since everytime i've seen him dj at past events he's been pretty dope but for some reason, i wasn't all that impressed this time. maybe my expectations were too high since everyone else seemed to enjoy it but i left a little disappointed. but to make up for it, the night was really fun. the place was pretty packed but not too crowded to where there was no room to dance. so definitely well worth it.

then yesterday enid and i went on a shopping spree...or to put it more correctly i went on a shopping spree. enid's my shopping buddy and i love going with her since we like the same stores and she's very honest in giving opinions. plus she knows my style and what i would wear so it's great. i think every single time we've gone together i always end up spending more with the exception of maybe just once. there's just too many cute things out there but this time, i felt pretty guilty afterwards since i know i really should be saving my money for more important things and i tried to come up with a justification for spending so much but i couldn't. so now i'm debating whether i should return most of it but i really don't want to. if it makes any difference, most of the stuff was on sale. i figure it will be my gift to myself for busy season...but then i thought that was what my trip to michigan and kansas was for. dilemma dilemma.

i'm being a sheep once again but after seeing it on jon, james and greg's site...i just had to see. what does this mean?




Which Star-Crossed Marvel Lover Are You?

i passed! the cpa exam...well, not passed completely. only two parts but that's good enough for me. i still can't believe it. after waiting three months and then some for the scores to come...it was driving me nuts. plus, it didn't help that enid and chris both found out that they passed before i did so i'd feel even more like a dufus if i didn't. talk about pressure.

i guess all those weekends flying down to la and waiting and studying at the airport paid off. i have to admit i was really nervous before i found out since i actually studied this time and i kept thinking, what if i didn't study enough? i shouldn't have slacked off towards the end. or since i'm not in that "study" mode anymore can i still do it? plus, you know how after an exam everyone talks about the answers and i thought for sure i messed up. but the hard part is out of the way now and up next, tax in may...what a great day :)

i am s-o-r-e...but it was well worth it. i haven't had this much fun snowboarding in such a long time. everything was perfect...saturday, it was nice and sunny and the snow was pretty good too. and then that night it started snowing so we woke up to fresh powder. it was so great...my s turns were finally coming together, falling didn't really hurt and everybody stayed together on the mountain. and curtis and i along with everyone else even went down a double black. and let me just say, vi and his brother andy are dope. they got so much air on their jumps and i was thorougly impressed. i wish i could do that.

the nights were fun too. there were 23 people in the cabin and i felt like i was in an extended version of real world or something...everywhere i went there was people. people in the bedrooms, in the sauna, in the hot tub. everywhere. we played this game called the statue of love which became a little x-rated but was funny. and as we were playing mafia i was trying to tell them about kaiser soze and the doctor but i think i just got myself confused as well.

all in all, a terrific weekend. i'm so glad i got to go. and i think i even got a little tan on my face. if only i didn't have to work today, then it would of been perfect.

last night vu and I had our first sleepover party. vi came up from la in the afternoon and then jay, linda, liz and kevin came up later that night and all slept over. the occasion? snowboarding at tahoe of course. I can’t wait…my first time this entire season. at first, when vu told me that jay and some of his friends were going to spend the night I thought for sure it was going to be a sausage sleepover but nope…surprisingly it wasn’t and another thing that was surprising was that we had all gone to san diego state. anyways, i’m all packed and got my board and boots in the car, my earmuffs (two different pairs! i can’t wait to wear them…they’re very cute) and i’m all set to go. i just hope there’s good snow…and then curtis and i are off for the drive up. It should be dope.

i proceeded to lock me and chris, who flew in from kansas, out of my place saturday night. the front door has one of those locks that as soon as you twist the handle on the inside, the door opens but lo and behold, if you close it, it remains locked. who knew? so there we were, tired as hell with no way to get back in. i felt terrible. i called everyone who i thought might have a key and of course, the one person that does (yuan) is on his way to go snowboarding. so chris takes out his credit card and starts trying to open the door while i try to take the screen off the window to see if it's unlocked when two policemen walk by...and don't say anything. hm...that certainly makes me feel safe. so finally, i told chris that this one window was vu's bedroom and just as he's about to go climb up on the roof to try to get in, he realizes that it's actually the neighbor's house. oops. but everything turned out all right as chris proceeded to climb up on the roof to the other window (while i'm holding the water coolor for him to step on hoping i don't make him fall) and thankfully it was unlocked and he could crawl in...all this without anyone calling the cops or anything.

but anyways, i also discovered that i don't think i know how to smoke properly. chris and i stopped by a cigar shop one night and as he was buying one the salesman says why don't you get one too? so you can join him to smoke? they come in different flavors. so i'm like uh...all right and picked out a cute skinny vanilla one. on the way out, he said remember to not inhale. not inhale? how is that possible? as i tried to smoke it later that night, after our little locked out situation, i realized that i didn't know how to puff without inhaling. but then i don't think i was inhaling properly either since i didn't feel anything? the only good part was that the vanilla tasted sweet if you licked your lips afterwards. i decided that cigar smoking is gross. even worse than cigarette smoking, it's all the bad parts times ten. smelly hair, clothes, fingers. yuck. not worth it.

i went to go to a recruiting event yesterday at berkeley with david (who is so proud of cal it amazes me...cal license plate, cal jersey, cal hat, still goes to all the games...) and two other people. it was for the asian business association. i've never actually gone to one where i had to present and i hate giving oral presentations. flashback to speech class in college...just not me. it certainly didn't help when i showed up that i saw students in suits all dressed up and a formal looking powerpoint to boot. the minute i get there david is giving me instructions on what to say, stuff to mention and with butterflies in my stomache i tried to remember everything but i had no idea what to say. the only good thing was that there were other people up there with me. i'm not even quite sure i made sense...i rambled a lot i know...talked fast, made some futile attempts at jokes and after a little while up there, i was like hey, this isn't so bad...it's actually kind of fun because amazingly, they actually seemed to be listening. or at least they did a good job pretending to be.

but i think my favorite part was after we spoke and they came up to talk to us. i remember when i was going through recruiting i hated having to be the one to initiate conversation and it was a little weird being on the other side but it was fun talking to all these random people. a lot of them were freshman which amazed me that they were so young and already attending these things and i passed out my card to whoever asked...it was pretty fun. i'm glad david asked me to do it.

afterwards, david treated us all to steve's bbq at the food court and even got us boba. it was a nice little capper to my evening.

so yesterday i asked vu to help me plug in my tv so i can get cable only to get the response, oh, you don't have cable in your room, it all flows through to the family room (my translation of what he said...something about satellites and so on...who knows). i could feel the horror flowing through me...what? no cable? what will i do? but then i thought this is actually a positive thing because that means i can read more and i actually have quite a few books my aunt gave me that i wanted to read. but then...after getting sick of unpacking i went downstairs to watch tv only to find that he has OVER 500 channels! i couldn't believe it. it took me forever to figure out how to use the remote. and he even has sex in the city. he has five different hbo channels. who ever heard of such a thing? i think i was in tv heaven last night.

i'm not homeless anymore. gone are the days of living out of a suitcase and staying at hsin's last week and then my aunt's this past weekend. i have officially moved into vu's townhouse now. tonight will be my first night there. you know, i was thinking earlier today, since i've moved here, i've lived in an apartment, a house and now a townhouse...all different kinds. random thought. but anyways, saturday my mom, my aunt, tri, yuan and xuan all helped me to move my stuff into my room. it was great...we were done in about a hour...this is definitely my easiest move yet. actually chris will probably say every move was easy for me but that's what muscles are for i say.

i also decided that cleaning someone else's bathroom, espeically the toilet, is horrible. the bathroom is just not a sanitary place. i cleaned the entire thing...sink, toilet, and i even got down on my hands and knees to scrub the floor. i think my mom was pretty impressed with my diligence :)

my mom is here visiting for the weekend and i'm actually really happy. i was looking forward to it all week. we'll probably end up not doing anything but i do know this...for dinner tonight i was eating homecooked chinese meals and nicely cut-up apples and pears which is basically all i really wanted. and as i am blogging, evonne is making me my favorite cake with cookies n' cream ice cream. yum yum. i am a very content girl right now.

so i'm at work today and my co-worker wanted to see a picture of my twin. the only one i had on my laptop was this picture taken by james in new york last summer. the next words i hear is awwwwwww you two look so adorable. adorable? that's not a word used to describe two people in their 20's. and then this one girl goes hey, your brother is pretty cute as far as i can tell from this picture. to which i answer no no no...it's just the fish lens distorting our features. i find it very strange whenever someone thinks jon is "hot". ok, maybe not hot...that would be exaggerating a little too much. but it brought back memories of the first time i watched jon perform with funktion at michigan. afterwards, all these girls, one in particular, came up to me going your brother is sooooo cute...can you introduce me? very weird i tell you. i do know that he has the height thing going for him though...besides that it's all a big mystery...at least to me.